im scared to go to my dads hm 2day cuz........?

Question

my dad past away 4 months ago. im going to see his girlfriend witch i do love lot but to be in my dads house knowing hes not there anymore scares me what do i? also he went into the cold water when he died and now im going to have to look at the lake with open water knowing that my dad was once in there

Answer 1

Oh, Erika, this sounds like a very difficult day for you. Can you bring someone with you when you go, like a good friend, or family member you trust? I'm glad you love your dad's girlfriend, she will no doubt help you.

Stay with your feelings, and notice how you are feeling when you are having them. Name them in your mind. Cry when you feel you need to (stuff some tissues or a hanky in your pocket before you go). The feelings may be intense, but if you let them be with you for a while (today perhaps) they will become less and less intense over the next few days and weeks.

On the other hand, if you fight the feelings, push them away and try to pretend you're not having them, they'll create a lot more problems. They won't get less intense, they'll just get sneakier, and come out as sleep problems, or a computer or junk food addiction or something else bad.

You will probably have very strong feelings when you look at the water. Maybe you'll even want to say some words to your dad, or to God, if you believe in God. Say them, even if they aren't nice words. It's the right thing to do. It's how we move through the really hard things in life, like losing someone so important.

Answer 2

It will be hard, but you will need to understand that these things are just that... things. They cannot hurt you.

I'm so sorry you lost your dad.