Whats your view on my situation from a christian stand point?

Question

My wife left me and my daughter 2 months because she says we are not spiritually compatible. She is a Theophostic and I am a bible believing christian. We went to councelling for 3 months to her 3 pastors and they each told me I needed to believe as they do. They lied to me and told me that if she left our home she would be removed from her position as minishtry leader. When she left they wanted me to appoligze to her for asking if she was having an affair with the other ministry leader who she calls 15 to 20 times each day and talks for hours at up to 2:o'clock in the morning. For a year she has been leaving in the morning and not coming home at all until 9:30 or 10: at night. She says she is working and I found out her step father gave her 10,000.00 dollars and she has been giving it to the church and when I found out a year later she said she would have rather burt the money than give us a dime. What to do?

Answer 1

First off, I am a Christian of over 33 years, and was ordained as a minister while working with drug and alcohol addicted people and people from broken homes for 10 years. There is no easy solution to your situation. The one thing that is very
important is that you don't allow the devil to feed a bunch of lies into your heart. You must keep in prayer on this, and you must be able to forgive your wife no matter what she does.
This is not going to be easy but you must keep a clear mind.


1. Theophostic is in our church and is supposed to be based on Christian concepts. I personally don't know enough about it to discuss it intelligently, but I have never liked what I have seen so far. That may be my own prejudice - I don't know until
I study it more.

2. Your wife left you with no valid excuse as far as I can see. If she is a Christian she is walking in direct disobedience to God who has promised to give us the ability to get past such things. If the Pastors are telling you to believe as they do, are we talking about Theophostics here. If so, I am wondering if there is not too much emphasis on the theophostics and not enough on scripture.

3. Evidently she was not removed from her position as a ministry leader, which according to scripture she should have been. If they told you that - what period of time elapsed from the time she left. She should have been removed totally from ministry if she cannot keep her marital vows, and it should have been instant removal with explanation and an offer to counsel her.

4. Can you prove that she is having an affair? How did you find out about the phone calls? Did you listen in on them? The time she spent out of the house - how often did she leave early in the morning and come back late at night? Was it every day for a year? Is it possible to trace the other person's schedule to see if it coincides with her being missing from the home. What did you do with your daughter during this time? Evidently she wasn't taking care of her. The evidence seems to point to an affair, and if that is the case the ministry leader involved should also have been removed. Perhaps your church is not Christian or the leadership is not following the scriptures. It is a lot to think about.

5. What can you do? For me to tell you would not be right because I am not close enough to what is happening to make an informed decision. I would want to talk with the Pastors and your wife if she would be willing to sit down and talk. Have the two of you ever been to a Christian counselor?
This is too complex to make sudden decisions on so don't do
anything rash.

ABOVE ALL KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD STRONG - NOTHING IS WORTH LOSING THAT FOR.

Email me if you like, and I will answer. If nothing else I would like to be an encouragement to you while you are facing this difficult issue.

Answer 2

--YOU INDEED have a strange situation here.

--If she is under the control of her church leaders, and she is having sex with them , there is definetly steps you need to take.
--Adultery is a major reason for grounds of divorce!
--IF SHE is abusing you as a family and the children feel abandoned by her actions, you can do 2 things,
1. Maintain a long-suffering way and endure the situation with the hope she may come to her senses.
2. Separate, which is of last resort:

(1 Corinthians 7:10-16) “10 To the married people I give instructions, yet not I but the Lord, that a wife should not depart from her husband; 11 but if she should actually depart, let her remain unmarried or else make up again with her husband; and a husband should not leave his wife. 12 But to the others I say, yes, I, not the Lord: If any brother has an unbelieving wife, and yet she is agreeable to dwelling with him, let him not leave her; 13 and a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and yet he is agreeable to dwelling with her, let her not leave her husband. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified in relation to [his] wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified in relation to the brother; otherwise, YOUR children would really be unclean, but now they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving one proceeds to depart, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not in servitude under such circumstances, but God has called YOU to peace. 16 For, wife, how do you know but that you will save [your] husband? Or, husband, how do you know but that you will save [your] wife?”

--WHAT EVER THE SITUATION you need to follow through and find out what is going on , in order to be at peace and know where this situation is heading, not only for your benefit but for your daughters!

(Ephesians 4:25-27) “25 Wherefore, now that YOU have put away falsehood, speak truth each one of YOU with his neighbor, because we are members belonging to one another. 26 Be wrathful, and yet do not sin; let the sun not set with YOU in a provoked state, 27 neither allow place for the Devil.”

--DOES YOUR daughter also feel abandoned?
--FANATACISM IN religion can indeed affect family life. If she indeed has put your family in an unimportant place in her life , that is a very difficult situation to work with.

--MAINTAIN a prayerful vigil , for only God can give you the right direction since there seem to be many variables you do not know about.

PS --Please also keep in mind with any group that seems to have great control over people that there is always the potential of them resembling the situation at Jonestown with Jim Jones and the 900 murders he committed!

Answer 3

The Bible tells us we should not be unequally yoked. This appears to be your case. She left you, apparently with the blessing of her church leaders. Run, don't walk, away.

As for divorce, remember, there is only one unforgivable sin, blaspheming the Holy Spirit. While God "hates Divorce", Divorce is forgivable by God and you should not accept any interpretation that makes you feel like a sinner. That comes from the evil one and does not line up with the Bible.

When Jesus talked about the "writ of Divorce" and adultery, He was talking to Jews who were living under the Law.

"Jesus freed us from the curse of the Law and became sin for us." You are not living under the Law, you are living under Grace!
____________________________

Jim DeSantis has Associate Degrees in Pastoral Counseling and Christian Theology and blogs about spiritual matters at http://on-line-tribune-spiritual-matters.blogspot.com

Answer 4

I find it strange that you would go to three separate ministers for counseling and that you came out of that counseling with "their advice." Counseling isn't supposed to be advice. It is supposed to be you solving your own problem with guidance as to the best possible solution(s). Even if a suggestion is provided, you must be the one to make the decision as to whether it is the best course of action or not. It's true that ministers often see things from the "high ground" just as the answers you're going to receive for your question also see things from a different perspective. However, as with ministers, you don't need my advice. Therefore a suggestion, if it works for you, to seek out methods of communication between you and your wife that work to solve your problems or at least mitigate any consequences. Good luck.

Answer 5

Say as an occasion, how ought to I brush my hair on the instant, ought to I brush it in any respect? I even have some passages from the bible that could help in this section. The Holy Spirit is the wonderful instructor, if He dwells in you, you will comprehend what could be appealing to God. before everything, i desire to declare that God hates lawlessness, because of the fact He calls His infants to perfection in Christ, which potential entire sanctification and holiness are to be the end results of our lives. for this reason this already regulations out alot of obtrusive issues in the worldwide. a million Cor 6:12 All issues are lawful, yet no longer all issues are effectual. All issues are lawful, yet i will't be enslaved by potential of something. Paul is going out to declare that our bodies are contributors of Christ, temples of the Holy Spirit himself. The Holy Spirit will communicate to you the be attentive to God which will coach on that categorical section you complication approximately. in no way in elementary terms a definite or no. it is going to likely be subsidized up by potential of scripture. God additionally stated that something you do this would possibly not of religion is a sin! in case you do not have the religion to a minimum of something, do no longer do it! Jesus in revelation had additionally chastised between the church homes for being lukewarm. He stated that if we are neither warm nor chilly, he will vomit us out. there is no such factor as a independent status with daily judgements. you need to have an answer for each little thing which you do, in accordance to the greatest of the Spirit for the day is coming quickly as quickly as we ought to offer an account of our lives to God, the day if the White Throne Judgement.

Answer 6

Pray

Answer 7

I think that you are correct and should not apologize.
I believe that she has broken her wedding vows and that you should divorce her on grounds of adultery.
In that case, you would be innocent and free to remarry a woman who is a Christian and who will love you and be there for you as your wife should be.