how do you deal with a mother in law who absolutely does not like you for no reason at all? even worse she influences her daughter to believe a whole bunch of crap that is not true. and she lives with me and hubby!!!! and so does his cousin. all they do is mooch of my hubby and they don't make enough money to afford to move but i don't like them trying to take over my household. please help!!!!!
2007-05-10 22:42:21 · 11 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is your house, and make sure that they know it!! Your husband needs to stand united with you and set some ground rules for what goes on in the household. Reminding them that they are there by your graciousness, and that if they don't like it they can get to packin'!!! While family problems are difficult to resolve sometimes, there is NO way that you should feel this way in your own home. Your mother in-law sounds like she jealous of the relationship that you have with her son, as well as the compromising of the possiblity that you could also gain the relationship with the daughter...it is insecurity. Be straight with the mother in law, tell her that you don't appreciate her bad mouthing, and if there is a question about something she has assumed, instead of spreading idol gossip, why not just ask you? And if she can't respect that, then tell her--why don't you put up your own daughter? If you want to have that type of catty relationship with her--birds of a feather stick together, and have her move out. Again your husband needs to stand side by side with you on this, and defend his house hold and the happiness of his wife!!! Good Luck!!!
2007-05-10 23:17:30 · answer #1 · answered by Austins Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first you discuss this matter with your hubby to make sure you are both on the same page and united in the following effort. he calls a house meeting. you don't do any talking, since you already voiced your concerns to your man. he then tells them that even though he understnads that they have difficulties in their lives and are dependant on your household for the time being, there needs to be some ground rules. a list of chores will be drawn up, so that everyone has a fair dhare of responsibilities in the house. he will also tell them that both of you are the heads of the household and will not tolerate any disrespect. if anyone is unhappy with the agreement, they are more than welcome to find other accomodation. then you invite your mother in law for coffee. tell her that you love her son dearly and that no matter what anyone does th two of you will never ever break up, tell her that you wish you could have a good relationship with the woman that raised your husband to be the incredible man he is today. tell her that you realise that you might be different and that you don't always have to get along, but that you love her and desperately need her to love you back. tell her that you admire her and respect her and would love nothing more than if the feeling were mutual. tell her that you don't expect things ti improve over night, but that you should both make an effort to repair the damage done and if she feels that there is anything specific that she would like you to work on, she should discuss it with you openly. the only way to get on her good side is to flatter her, but remain firm. do not under any circumstances appear weak or fragile. be friendly and cooperative, but maintain your solid ground, otherwise she will just see it as another oppertunity to downsize you and walk all over you.
2007-05-10 23:16:27 · answer #2 · answered by roelienwatton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You must forgive and disregard. Life may be very beneficial to be dwelling it feeling like that. You are very lucky now that you've an overly well schooling and well process that experience allowed you and your household to transport directly to some thing larger. If you believe approximately the whole lot that occurred together with your in-legislation simply take it as a studying revel in that has helped you to emerge as a larger individual. We must study from the well and dangerous matters that occur to us with a purpose to make a larger individual out people, to not make us green with envy and/or vengeful. Remember all of the occasions that you simply disobeyed your dad and mom? Did they ever flip their backs to you? If you try to flip your again in your in-legislation it would even harm your dating together with your husband. Listen in your sense of right and wrong, the cause why you believe dangerous. Most of the days whether it is educated competently it'll make you believe dangerous whilst you're doing or taking into consideration doing some thing mistaken.
2016-09-05 17:02:38 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk with your husband and tell him how you feel.
The way I see it: the mother, the daughter, and the cousin, if all 3 have jobs they should be able to get a place of their own.
I understand family is family but there are some limitations, Especially if your trying to make your own family.
If your tired of how they are in your own house then stand your ground. And tell all of them how you feel.
I remember my parents telling me alot of times, "You live under my house, You live under my rules!" That goes both ways.
There has to be some kind of compromising there.
Good Luck.
2007-05-10 22:52:28 · answer #4 · answered by Lilkryptonite 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't. Either the girl loves me or she doesn't. And if she doesn't then I don't need to be there in the first place. If she does love me then she'll know how to handle her own family without disrespecting me.(same as I would and have done when the tables were turned.) She sure the hell wouldn't be under my roof though. That's what boots are for. Even if I was gonna leave I'd boot her happy butt to the curb first.
2007-05-10 22:50:12 · answer #5 · answered by Meatball ;) 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know what you are going through i have mother in law the same way she is nice when hubby is around the she turns mid evil when he leaves she thought she could push me out of the way so just do a little pushing back i did and now everything is fine.
2007-05-10 23:10:10 · answer #6 · answered by missy n 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only answer I've ever found is keep divorcing until you find the right ones!! Mother in Laws can be evil, take this from somebody who had a rolling pin thrown at her head. The dent is still in the brick!!
2007-05-10 22:53:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Tell your husband that it is time for him to be a man and handle the situation. Tell him that he needs to tell his family to butt out of your and his business or they will be looking for a home of their own very soon!! Tell him that he needs to tell them that you are his wife, and that they are to treat you with respect or they can not live in your home.
2007-05-10 22:50:33 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
how does your husband feel about it. if he s in different, kick them all out. if he feels for oyu, he d put a stop to it. if she doesnt like you is one thing, but spreading rumors to others about you is over the top
2007-05-10 22:47:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can offer you my sympathy that is all. I know you are going through pure h***. If you ever get out don't go back.
2007-05-10 22:54:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋