I live with my grandmother and she's the most horrible person you could ever meet in your life. She lies about everything to make me look bad and is unbelieveably spiteful. She ruined my art coursework and threw out a file of work just before my A-level exams so I had to quit school. I've been trying to re-sit some a-levels in college to try and get to uni but she's been moving my papers and throwing them all over the floor. My mothers car is broken and so I rely on my grandmother to give me lifts to my part time job, she'll wait until im ready to go then tell me she wont take me so I have to call into work to say I'll be late. I keep getting into trouble becuase of this. She spent the money my mother had in a savings account for me to learn to drive because she rekons she put more money into it than my mother (lies) and it was in her name. My belongings are in her house because my mother is selling her own house to live with her boyfriend. She isnt old (56)
2007-05-10 21:50:11 · 19 answers · asked by Rainbow-Taster 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
she has no mental dissorder to make her act like this. She's just a horrible nasy person. The worst you could meet. She shouts and screams at me and I loose my temper and shout back then cries to her friends and tells them I'm always shouting at her and I'm ungrateful.
I haven't got anywhere to keep my stuff at the moment and I cant afford to move out becuase I'm trying to stay in college and go to uni. Im sleeping between friends houses at the moment and don't know what to do. I think the thing that iritates me most is the way she blames me and so people think it's all my fault and I'm the one who's the B**** to her. How can I sort this out and make people see what she's really like and what she's done to me.
I think 1 of the worst things was when my ex bought her coffe and tea jars and she kept them in her kitchen pride of place even though after we split he made my life hell.
She kept them there to taunt me. Even though she knew how stressed I was.
2007-05-10 22:02:32 · update #1
I can't move in with my mother because she has 4 other kids and lives in a 2 bedroom house with her boyfriend (who isnt a problem hes lovely)
My b/f can't move out becuae he cares for his grandparents who are ill.
My grandfather lives here too and is just as bad as she is.
I'm 19 and I'm trying to get some A-levels so I can go to uni, move out and get a decent jon instead of being stuck in a dead end one arround here.
She's already managed to ruin my chances once already by destroying my work.
2007-05-10 22:05:34 · update #2
When I say college its a British college which isn't the same as an American college. I can't live on campus becuase it isn't a uni, it's where I take my A-levels to be able to go to uni.
2007-05-10 22:08:43 · update #3
go live with your mum if you can or see yourr local houssing dept to get a shared house with a lock on your door. Tell your gran to stop piss1ng you about!!
2007-05-10 21:53:52 · answer #1 · answered by j.pee69 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Hi there...
Ok...your grandmother (gm) is obviously having some problems...and I dont think that her problem is with you, dear..tho it very much seems so.
I hv 2 theories for this:
1 - U remind her of someone she dislikes, and she being old and cooped up in her house will start to let her mind run wild. Boredom can do tht to ppl, u knw. So she takes it out on u...the one person tht is close to her
2 - She is doing this coz she doesnt want u to leave her...maybe she feels tht ure the only one she has in this world, who actually cares for her...and she tries her best to stop u frm leaving - throwing ur a-lvls papers and artwork...all this must mean something.
After all that she has done, you hv some choices, dear..
1- Move away. U need to get on with ur life, and ure young...so mk the best of ur decisions
2- Help her. This is a difficult choice...but if u really want to, u'll find a way. Help her get out more often, talk to her more often. And at the same time, do ur work whn she's not looking. Maybe stay back at school and finish ur work, and put it in a locked drawer at home once ure done.
Its not gonna be easy...but whtever ur next move is, may the good Lord always be with u.
2007-05-11 05:22:47 · answer #2 · answered by caprichic2002 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Oh that sounds like a nightmare, can't imagine how frustrating it must be for you!
Can you get a lock put on your bedroom door? or at least lock your coursework papers away somewhere so she can't mess with them. As for the lifts to your part time job I wouldn't bother relying on her if she has let you down that many times; just make your own way to work from now on. That way you will get to work on time and you won't owe her anything.
If you are on speaking terms with your mum then I think you should sit down and talk to her about your grandmother stealing your driving lessons money; if your mum was putting the majority of the cash in she may be able to prove it with bank statements. And your nan will have to pay back what she has stolen.
Is there any chance you could move in to the new house with your mum and her boyfriend; surely if your mum knows how your grandmother is causing you so much unnecessary stress in an already stressful stage in your life (sitting exams etc) then she will do something to help?!
At the end of the day; if your grandmother carries on the way she is going then she will die a very lonely woman. Never blame yourself; the poor cow clearly has issues!
Hope you sort something out soon!
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after reading your additional notes:
Wow it sounds like a real tough situation. I think your going to have to try and make the best of a bad situation here. Try being nice to her even when she shouts at you ( easy to say I know!), maybe even just walk away from her when she gets like that, just calmly tell her that you will speak to her about whatever she's shouting about when you are both calm. Just don't give her any ammunition; it sounds like she likes the drama and the attention.
I know you say you have nowhere to lock your stuff; but there must be somewhere you can hide it. Or maybe you can buy like a lockable box or something? As for her throwing out your files; I think you can passsword protect them so do that in the future and she won't be able to delete stuff.
Just keep your head down, get your studying done. Be all sweetness and light to them both; rise above it all and be the better person; then you (and they)will have nothing to blame yourself for.
Oh just a thought; I wonder if maybe your college will let you store some of your stuff there? Speak to an understanding tutor about your situation and they may be able to arrange something.
I don't think there's really any quick fix solution; but at least you have a goal so focus on reaching that. Remember; some things in life are sent to test us and that which doesn't kill us makes us stronger!
2007-05-11 05:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by kchick8080 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh geesh, you are in a quandry!! Look, you have no choice but to be the adult here and set some limits. Set them down and tell them what you have told us...but, you might leave out the name calling! LOL I am serious! Try talking this out with them as you truly do not have options.
Please be careful not to yell or, act like they would expect. Express your intentions to do so very well in life! Stress the importance that they have had in your life. A little positive goes a long way!
I wish the best for you and I think it is admirable for you to want to succeed with the adversities you have endured! YOU GO GIRL!!! I AM BEHIND YOU!!
2007-05-11 05:36:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mother about the situation. See if you can't find another place to stay. There is no reason to live like that. Take all of your important papers with you when you leave the house, and see if you can arrange to get a ride to work with a coworker, or take a cab or bus.
2007-05-11 05:03:16 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well first off...put all your exam work in one place, out of reach of your gran....don't keep them lying around the place for her to ruin or throw away....get a cab to work in future, and maybe start looking for a flat or bedsit so you can get away from her....it seems that she is taking her frustrations out on you because you are there with her...i am not being funny, but maybe she does not want you there and is doing all this weird stuff to drive you out...is there any chance of you going to stay with a friend? just a thought...sorry that she's being such an old stick but there must be a something wrong with her to make her flare into a mad rage....it's not your fault...maybe she's just nasty in person....
2007-05-11 06:03:42 · answer #6 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
make yourself independent..you know she can mess you about regarding lifts so don't ask her, make your own arrangements. find a safe place to leave your work, at a friends house, or buy a cupboard with a lock on and keep the key with you always. the money you had is gone, forget it but make sure in future you keep your money in your own bank account, she cant touch it there. when she tells lies about you confront her in front of the person she has lied to and don't back down...she is a controlling bully and you must stand up to her....good luck!
2007-05-11 04:59:14 · answer #7 · answered by ginger 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Hello there Rainbow-taster, I am so sorry that you are getting a load of crap from all angles. Especially when you are trying hard to get an education and trying to hold down a job. Your grandparents sound like demons from hell. And I am sorry to say, but your mother is no better for not trying to help you out. She must remember that she has five children not four. And she seems to be concentrating on them and her boyfriend!
Please go to the website: connexions-direct.com it is a great place for youths to get help and advice on everything. Please email me and let me know how you get on honey! :o)
2007-05-11 06:18:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this might sound a bit daft ut i would seriously get a dictator recorder (i think thats waht there called lol) and i would put it in my pockets and just record the conversations as proof, and play them back so people can witness what is being said that way she can't make YOU out to be the liar, play her at her own game hun if she's that spiteful and nasty show her two can play that game but you'll be the 1 who can hold your head up high!!
2007-05-11 18:11:30 · answer #9 · answered by diamonds 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hell with all that **** .....find a cool friend to move in with or some other family member who is more caring....she's gonna drag you down probably because your young and a girl and she's jealous....hide your important papers while your there and try to arrange for a different ride to work ....stay outta the old bat's way...be a spot on the wall until you can arrange better things for yourself
2007-05-11 04:57:22 · answer #10 · answered by bobbyflye 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋