If I am concerned about pleasing someone does that mean I think they are right?

Question

Some people think my beliefs are wrong, but it doesn't bother me, because I know theirs are wrong. But other people who think my beliefs are wrong, it bothers me. I want them to like me and it bothers me if they think I'm wrong about something. Does this mean that I think they may be right? Or is it just because of conditioning? The ones I want to please the most are the ones who believe most closely what I was raised to believe. But I don't always agree with that anymore.

Answer 1

Argument is the debate that never ends. If you're not up to debating an issue, even when it is cut and dried out so much so it is turning to dust, some people will be the perfect pest for you.

I always think of the first conversation of a child asking why a parents demand they go to bed. As a child I asked, "Why?"
The answer was, "Because!" I asked, "Because why?" The answer was, "Why?! Because, because?" I asked, "But why? I am not tired." The answer was, given by the frustrated speaker making a face that definitely meant debate over, "Because I said so!"

Maybe you met up with one of those children that never got past, "Because I say it's so!" And now they are only able to say, "Because?! I don't know any better and I don't what to be the stupid one here!"

Answer 2

well it's hard to say. If you grew up thinking one way and only one way then your beliefs will differ from some one else. I don't think you need to bring religion into it if it ends up loosing some one you care about. If it comes up talk about them but be open mined there is no right or wrong way. You don't want to tell some one who's Taoist their beliefs are wrong nor a Born again Christan. You don't have to keep pleasing some one! If they really like you they will like you for you not by your beliefs and would love you no matter what! If they leave you because of that then they are fake. The real ones stay with you for a long time! If they think your wrong let them don't let it bother you and move on if they really like you they will stick around and not care about your beliefs because they belong to you not them. I bet you will find some one out there a person you don't have to please all the time. I hope this gives you some good advice if not my bad.

Answer 3

The desire to please others isn't really the same as believing they're right. It's natural to want to please people, and can be caused by any of many reasons. It's possible that even though your beliefs are different now, you feel guilty or defensive about that change, even if you feel the belief is right.

My best friend is kind of going through this right now. Her entire huge, close knit family have been a particular denomination forever, and they're aggressive about it. She's decided she doesn't agree very much with their denomination, and wants to look into other churches. She's thinks her parents, and extended family, will be angry or disappointed that she made that choice. But she knows that if she stayed, it would only be to please the people she loves, because her beliefs haven't changed. It bothers her that they think she's wrong, because she loves them and wants their approval.

Answer 4

possibly. but it's more likely that you need other people to approve of you due to low self-esteem or confidence. you sound confused and it's causing you to question your own beliefs. maybe you should examine your beliefs and find out if they are important enough to hang on to, regardless of what others say.

in the old days, you would be known as a "yes" man - a person who doesn't have an opinion until someone gives it to them...

Answer 5

I understand your desire to be loved and accepted, no matter what you believe. But this is part of maturing into an adult. To be able to believe what you do, and have other people not agree with you or even treat you in an unkind way because they don't like what you have to say.

If you know God, then you must know it is Him that you want to please first of all. Stand on what He says is good and right. You don't need to offend others by your stand, but please don't compromise yourself just to gain the acceptance of others. You will lose your own self in the process.

Answer 6

the big worry is always to remove from our loved ones what little belief they have
dont compromise your own faith ,but we all must find our own truths [its important to know how you got there ]
the others will all in time catch it up
but we must prove it for our self
people cant be forced to be good
[fear is the wrong reason for doing a right thing]

Answer 7

It seems to me that people want to mostly please the opinionated. This of course is a pitty. But it shows that your desires are common. You may have the problem I can have and many others. That is, letting the perceptions of others determin your own perception of self worth. It doesn't, in the least, mean that you think they are right.

Answer 8

i guess you'll just have to look really hard at your motivations for feeling this way. maybe you want to please them because they're popular? or maybe because they're the kind of people you respect? or maybe these are the people you want to become? kind of like the standard against which you measure yourself.

if it's comfort with your belief that you want, you should study it really well. understand the issues, read books and references. listen to what other people have to say. after that you look IN, not OUT.

hope i've helped.

Answer 9

hi, no that does not mean that you believe they are right. those are two seperate things.

you want to please them... lets say they believe 1+1=5
you believe they are right... you dont believe 1+1=5 do you?

im sorry if that sounds a little cooky but im trying to explain, using the best logic that i know, that no you have nothing to worry about. just beause you are trying to make someone happy does not mean you think they are right.

Answer 10

It sounds like you don't want to be rejected by them. If you bow to them now in order to have their acceptance of you, you will always have to bow to keep their acceptance. It's not worth it.