How can I stop being jealous of anyone my boyfriend talks to?

Question

Everytime my bf starts talking to anyone [ie, his friends, family, random people], I get so extremely jealous. Mainly because he ignores me while doing so. I am really clingy and always have been since my first ex, because he let me have him all to myself, it spoiled me and my views. So I did the same for him. Also in my current relationship, I don't talk to anyone but my bf. However, he has tons of friends and isn't willing to only talk to me. I got so jealous of his female friend tonight that he said "I can't stand it when you get this jealous. If you had told me at any point to give up my friends, directly, I most likely would have dumped you." I'm really upset he didn't tell me before that my jealousy problem bothered him this much. All this time I've been hurting him and I didn't even know it. He used to tell me he thought it was cute when I got jealous and it showed I cared so I didn't stop it. He's now saying if I screw up badly one more time, it's over forever for us...

Answer 1

Jealousy is a dangerous thing. It also suggests a lack of trust, both in him and in yourself. To be honest, some guys will see a negative characteristic and ignore it for a while, hoping it is a temporary thing. You admit you are clingy. You need to do two things: a) develop your own social network, apart from him. If he leaves you (by choice or otherwise), then you will be alone, and more at risk for psychological disturbance. A well developed socal network has been shown to be a protective factor for most forms of pyshological disturbance. b) give him some space and trust. He needs to have a life outside of you, because if he devotes all his energy to you, he cannot recharge his batteries, and will burn himself out.

Please do not be afraid to seek professional counseling. There may be underlying reasons why you feel this clingyness, and a counselor may be able to help you with these issues.

Answer 2

I don't blame him. Jealousy can ruin a relationship faster than anything. Quit being so needy and make some friends. You need to have a life too! If you only include him in your life, what happens when he is no longer there. You will not have anyone to talk to or do things with. Even married people have their friends too. What you are doing is immature. Time to grow up and enjoy life. Good Luck!

Answer 3

If you want to keep him you will have to stop being jealous immediately or risk losing him because there is nothing that kills a relationship quicker than jealousy. You are really telling him you do not trust him and most people will resent being told they are not worthy of someones trust

Answer 4

you are probably feeling insecure, although it seems you have no reason to--actually you should feel quite special, out of all his friends, he chose YOU to be his love
try to remember the type person you were [minus the jealousy] when you met him, what special qualities attracted him to you? I bet confidence was one of them, let it prevail again, unleash your real personality, the fun, happy you
and if after you've done all that you can and your relationship ends anyway, hey, it's not the end of the world, learn from your mistakes, take time to get to know yourself better [yr needs, strengths, desires, etc.] and embrace all that is good about you, then tell the world to "Bring it on!"

Answer 5

You need to stop you will ruin the relationship once in a blue moon is cute and loving but everyday will kill the relationship if he is with you that is caus ehe wants to be but you need to give him his space or you will lose him he has all those friends for a reason he likes to be around alot of people that is who he is that is what attracted you to him so stay away from the jealous stuff it will kill your relationship

Answer 6

Get a hold of your jealousy problem. It's not for someone else to tell you it's too much' it's for you to realize that it's too much and "try" to control it. I am leaving my boyfriend for the same thing...it's a MAJOR TURN OFF. If you love him..control yourself.

Answer 7

first a few things, i can understand getting jealous when he talks to females, but not family, u shouldnt get jealous when he talks to his family,

anywayz....

u just have to remind yourself he is going out with you, yall are dating, ur are the first thing he thinks of when he wakes up and your the last thing he thinks of when he goes to bed, it doesnt matter who he talks to in between that time, cause you know he is all yours.....

but to help out, if u see him talking to another female, dont get jealous try to join in on the convo, and dont glare or make bad comments about it, show him that its okay you dont mind.