Still supporting an unapprecitive Marine( My Brother)?

Question

Ever since the day he told me he was enlisting to the Marines, I have worn a shirt that says,"PROUD BROTHER OF A U.S. MARINE"
When he asked for Gatorade Powder and Energy bars in Boot Camp, I would save to buy him a case of each.
When he got a speeding ticket in California I was the first to pay it

When he was literally starving because he had no money, I would send him money i didn't have.When he came Home from Iraq I took him to the most expensive steakhouse in my town.When his car "blew up" and he came home for a visit, I took a 401(k) loan for $10,000. ( I am still paying for this out of weekly deductions) to buy a new car.
Through the past 3 years I mentioned, NEVER once have I recieved a Thank You from my brother.
Is that something they teach recuits in Boot Camp, "use everbody including your family to gain what you don't have"
Yet I still wear the "PROUD BROTHER OF U.S. MARINE" shirts.
P.S. I don't mean offend anyone I will always support what My HERO decided to do.

... I just want to know
" DOES HE APPRECIATE EVERYTHING i HAVE SACRIFICED AND IF SO WHY CAN'T HE EXPRESS THE FACT THAT I HAVE GONE TO GREAT LENGTHS FOR HIM"

Answer 1

I AM PLEASED THAT YOU SUPPORT HIM AND HIS CHOICE TO BE IN THE MARINES. BUT I HAVE TO SAY HE IS TAKING MAJOR ADVANTAGE OVER YOU.

Someone in the military cant really starve. And this is comming from someone who is in. Right now the lowest someones base pay can be is about 1201. but him being in for 3 years its probaly around 1703 or higher. this doesnt include the fact that if he is single which i am assuming he is since you never mentioned a wife and or kids. then he lives in barracks housing. which doesnt cost him a penny. its another benifit that he has about being in the marines. secondly he cant starve because there is a mess hall where he is stationed. and is allowed to eat there 3-4 meals a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year at no extra cost to him. its one of his entitlements. he should have money for a car. he is just using you. i would bet that if you saw his bank statements for the past 6 months you would see that most of his money is getting blown in the first couple days after pay day. which you cant make him grow up and be responsible with his money. and you sending him money is only making things worse for him. like i said he does have a place to stay for free.. and does have free food. and if he is living out in town in an appartment. that was his choice and that takes away from his paycheck. but if he wanted he could move back into barracks. do some research on his pay grade. i would bet he is an e-3 or e-4. you can pull up military pay charts on your own and see what he is really making and really entitled to.

and to answer you question about whether he appreciates it. yes he does. but in the wrong way. he sees you as his personal bank account and tells you lies..

you need to cut him off. and if you have the car in your name. you need to start charging him for it. or take it away. you need to stop giving him money. he has plenty of money. he probaly just makes the wrong financial choices and too much goes to beer money. if you cut him off permenatly then he will be forced to rethink how he has been living.

and one final note. i dont care what emergency he comes up with dont help him out with money. if he truely has an emergency then he has other options. there is an organazation on the base that he is stationed at called Navy Marine Corps Relief Society. if he truely has an emergency. they will help. and will help with money. but the catch is. He will have to prove it to them. something you cant require of him. but to them he will have to prove it. they will either give him and loan for the money with no intrest. or they will give him a grant. something he doesnt have to pay back. years ago when my mother died i had to fly with my wife and son from washington to dallas. it was almost 2000 in plane tickets. after it was all said and done the gave me a grant for 1400 of it. and i had to pay back 600 of it intrest free over the next two years.

Answer 2

Sounds like he needs a reality check. Smack some sense into that jarhead. Seriously, that is not a Corps problem…quit being such an enabler and let him put out some of his own fire. He needs money after a tour overseas? What? He should have come back with a fat bank account. You broke your 401 to provide him with a car?! Three words…TAKE THE BUS. He should be stockpiling cash while in the Corps. Teach him, and don’t feed his bad habits.

Answer 3

the fact he is a marine has nothing to do with the whole matter, your brother is a user and I would guess always has been, just now he is older the demands are bigger.

If he is that broke and comes to you again tell him that's what the Marine and Navy relief is for and suggest he tries there, if it is for silly stuff they will teach him how to budget and stop all this BS right now.............

They are not paid a huge amount BUT he really should be doing better than having to sponge off of family..........I have had to bail my son out a couple of times [air force] but only for little stuff and such a few days before pay day..........but now he is on a roll and not only lives OK, but also manages to save a fair bit as well.

Answer 4

You need to let him grow up. Sending care packages are fine, but paying for a car. I'd have a serious heart to heart talk, of that does not work, try foot too butt. He can start a pay allotment to cover the car. The umbilical cord was cut 18+ years ago.

Answer 5

Although what they do is good, they arent really paid for it nearly as much as they should be, which is the main problem here. Military service is something to be proud of but it doesnt produce personal finacial stability. Perhaps you could suggest that he get a job outside of the military (if he doesny already have one ).

Alot of soliders have come home homeless and broke, the only way to REALLY fix the problem is to improve vetrans care packages that the government offers.

Answer 6

Well I'm not a Marine, But I am a Soldier in the Army, and I am in Iraq. What it seems to me is your brother is using your genorosity. You need to let him know you're proud of him and his serving his country, but that you aren't his bank. He has a job, if he blows his money, that's on him, not you. Don't let him use his military service to get you to spend the money you earn.Remember this is coming from a servicemember.

Answer 7

War does some strange things to the mind. Only someone who has been there knows what he is going through. Your brother needs you more than you will ever know. You are the reason he is still with us and he may not say it but he is thankful.

Answer 8

What i want to know, is just what him being a marine has to do with anything ??

If he worked at Walmart, would you be asking the same question?

Would you ask if Walmart tought him to "use everbody including your family to gain what you don't have"

I don't think so.

Answer 9

you sound more upset with what you have done than with what he has done.
do it or not, regret it or dont, but dont hold what you are doing against him.
if you require him to humble himself in return for your help, make sure he knows that its part of the deal up front.
its always been my experience that the big "thank you" people are the last to pay you back and if you belittle someone they will resent you. but do whatever you want, just dont hold him responsible.

Answer 10

Good for you! Support your brother and support the Marines...it is the good American way. You know deep down that you are a good guy and that should be reward enough.