Is this Spanish sentence correct?

Question

I'm writing a schoolplay script and I dont know if this Spanish sentence is correct:

Hola, soy Carl y estoy muy alegre satisfacerle. Pienso que usted es de Puerto Rico porque usted parece muy etnic. Realmente amo a mujeres que miran exóticas. ¿Está usted disponible mañana?

Answer 1

You need some changes:

Hola, soy Carl y me alegra poder satisfacerla. Me da la impresión que usted es de Puerto Rico por su apariencia étnica. Amo realmente a las mujeres de miradas exóticas. ¿Está usted disponible mañana?

Answer 2

There are some mistakes.

Hola, soy Carl y estoy muy alegre de satisfacerle (i'm very happy to please you?? Doesn't sound right to me). Creo que usted es de Puerto Rico porque usted parece muy nativo (this doesn't sound polita and ppl might get upset if you say it). Realmente amo a las mujeres que parecen (or se ven) exóticas. ¿Está usted disponible mañana?

Hope that helps ;)

Answer 3

Hola, me llamo Carl y estoy muy alegre en satisfacerle. Usted parece a los Puerto Ricquenos. Realmente, me gustan las mujeres que se ven muy exoticas. Esta usted disponible mañana?

Good luck.

Answer 4

this would be better if you say like this:

Hola, me llamo Carl y estoy muy feliz. Pienso que usted es de Puerto Rico lo supongo por su apariencia. Realmente amo a mujeres que se miran exóticas. ¿le gustaria salir conmigo mañana?

Hi! my name is Carl and I'm so glad. I think that you are from Puerto Rico I presume for your etnic. I really Love girls whit exotics look. would you like to go out whit me tomorrow?

Jose (mexican)

Answer 5

This sounds super weird to me!

Would you ever say "Hi, I'm Carl and I'm happy to satisfy you. I think you are from Puerto Rico because you look very ethnic. I love exotic looking women. Are you available tomorrow?"

Gosh I hope not. I can only imagine this line for a streetwalker. If you intended something more in line with what would be used in a school play, why don't you write what you intended to convey in English?

I sure wouldn't present this in Spanish. I'm a former High School Spanish teacher, and this is not the kind of sleazy lines we expect students will be able to use when they're in a setting where they can talk with native speakers.

And oh, on another note, I'm not sure about other women, but it would not impress me one bit for a gentleman to tell me I looked "ethnic."

Answer 6

Pretty good, just a couple of things...

instead of "y estoy alegre satisfacerle"......."me da gusto satisfacerle" (words matched better)

"a mujeres que (se) miran..."

Answer 7

Sorry, but what you wrote doesn´t sound nice at all. Offensive and cheap is the way it sound.

Follow Mimii's advice.