My boyfriend says that I am not affectionate and I never initiate kisses or hugs. He's very romantic and I love that about him and when we are together I know he is going to kiss me or hold my hand, yet he is always mad at me. He gets so mad over the littlest things and calls me names and such and thinks that it is the same as me not initiating affection.
PS we don't have sex..I'm waiting.
2007-05-10 17:18:19 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If he ever calls you names, you need to dump him. With that and the fact that you say he gets angry fast, it sounds to me like he will end up abusing you physically just like he is now abusing you emotionally. Sex won't make things better, it will just make him feel like he has more control over you. You don't ask a question, but I assume you want to know whether you should stay with him. The answer is "no", he's a big loser, dump him.
2007-05-11 05:23:40 · answer #1 · answered by TinaAnne 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go... I don't care how romantic a guy is... if he calls me names and gets mad easily, I'm letting his sorry butt go... You should do the same. You don't have to put up with him calling you names and getting upset over small matters. Of course, if you want to stay with him, you need to tell him how you feel and let him know if he does not stop the name calling, you'll consider letting him go... About what your boyfriend said: try being more affectionate... give him more hugs and kisses, but only if you are comfortable doing so....
2007-05-10 17:24:26 · answer #2 · answered by trueimage_libra09 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think there needs to be a comparison between the way he is acting and you not being affectionate. Some people are naturally more "touchy feely" while others do not act that way without provocation. The real problem is that you feel the need to compare. What he says to you no matter what you do to him is a single act seperate from all others. If he makes you feel uncomfortable or puts you down then you need to confront that. BTW sex has nothing to do with any of it!!
2007-05-10 17:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Summer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I actually broke up with a girlfriend I had a while back because she never initiated any contact. As stupid as it sounds to all you people reading, it is far more frustrating than you can imagine. Only people who are in this position can understand it, so I can see where your boyfriend is coming from. You kind of get a feeling of "guilt" or that your doing something "wrong" when you kiss your girlfriend every damn time and she never reciprocates the act. It gets weird after a while...
2007-05-10 17:22:02 · answer #4 · answered by Jaguar88 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Getting mad over the littlest things and name-calling is a bad sign. Verbal abuse often leads to physical abuse and issues of control. Don't put up with the name-calling and the temper tantrums. If he can't respect you enough to not call you names, you need to move on.
2007-05-10 17:25:27 · answer #5 · answered by puppylove 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Good for you for waiting, it really does make a difference.
It sounds like your boyfriend might have anger issues. Find out before you get too serious about him. If he does have a problem with anger, it will only get worse. Maybe you don't initiate affections because you have some subconscious fears.
Best wishes to you.
2007-05-10 17:22:55 · answer #6 · answered by vyk 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that people that care about each other do not call each other names. Tell him that if it continues, he will have to find another girlfriend.
You try to show a bit more affection also. He needs to feel loved just the same as you do. Also, do not let him ever disrespect you in any way, including calling you names. If you don't maintain respect for yourself , no one else will respect you.
2007-05-10 17:23:28 · answer #7 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Try and surprise him with something romantic... dinner, a romantic movie or something. Don't feel pressured to do things or initiate things if you're not comfortable, but don't feel TOO comfortable... I mean, don't expect him to initiate holding hands and kissing ALWAYS, guys need novelty... originality... try and be more caring and he'll notice!
About the name calling, you don't have to put up with any of that. If he doesn't respect you for who you are, then maybe he's not the right person for you. Just be carefull with your feelings first, then his.
2007-05-10 17:22:59 · answer #8 · answered by Marzolia 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Be careful, as that is warning signs of a downhill relationship. Observe how he treats his parents, thats how he will treat you. If you are being affectionate to him, and he is doing this, talk to him and tell him the verbal stuff has to STOP. If not, its time to move on. Ive seen and heard of this kind of thing, and its not good.
2007-05-10 17:23:10 · answer #9 · answered by Chris C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would say get out of that relationship before it gets worse. If he really cares about you, he wouldn't be saying such mean things to you!
2007-05-10 17:22:01 · answer #10 · answered by Ashley A 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋