I wish to have a Pagan wedding. My family is christian. His family is Pagan and atheist. Is there anyway of doing this without totalling hiding my beliefs? Should the wedding make the couple happy or the guests happy?
2007-05-10 16:37:54 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
FYI Honey, I am Wiccan and he follows Asatru.
I'm not a christian and he is not an atheist and we do not want an atheist wedding.
2007-05-10 17:26:14 · update #1
The wedding should be what YOU want it to be.
Do you want to go back through your wedding photos and regret not doing what YOU TWO wanted to do? Do you want to look at them and go "ugh, we did this for mom and dad, not for us"....
Have your wedding the way you want it.
2007-05-11 05:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The wedding is all about celebrating the couple. Granted you don't want to offend your family and guests but you should do what you feel is what's best for you.
If you want to have a Pagan wedding than i'm sure you can have that and not have it offend your family. I would make sure that your family understands the Pagan traditions before the wedding though. Just so they don't get shocked the day of. Fill them in and do a little background research for yourself as well as your family.
If i remember correctly the Pagan religion tends to focus on nature and the unity of nature. So i doubt most people will be offended, but you should be prepared. Speak to the person that's going to give the Pagan service and find out exactly what is done and how you can make sure not to hide your beliefs in the ceremony. Maybe ask if there is a way to incorporate some of the Christian beliefs.
In the end you should do what makes you and your fiance happy. It's your day!
Good Luck!
2007-05-10 23:47:41 · answer #2 · answered by Dawnwalker 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Probably your Christian family is going to be a bit put off by the whole sky clad thing. You could do both, unless you're totally against a Christian ceremony, which would make both families happy. Weddings are about bringing families together so it doesn't hurt to make everyone happy if you can.
I just had a thought. I think you're going to have to have two ceremonies because I don't think the pagan ceremony will be legally recognized. I could be wrong the world may have gotten more tolerant in the last few years. Arlington is recognizing Wicca so maybe a Wiccan ceremony could be legal now. You could have a pagan ceremony with just the two of you and the officiant or just your pagan friends and family. Then have a legal Christian ceremony with everyone who might not understand paganism. God is god or goddess and more than one ceremony won't be offensive to deity but it will please grandma a whole lot. I was raised catholic but gave it up many years ago. I still got married in the church (my husband went to catholic school the brain washing got to him). It didn't hurt me to get married in the church even though their beliefs are not mine. Good luck, you'll figure it out.
2007-05-10 23:51:29 · answer #3 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You can have a civil ceremony, or have a friend become ordained online to be able to perform the ceremony, and remove all Christian and Pagen references, simply making the day a celebration of the love and committment between you and your husband-to-be.
I think the wedding should make the couple happy, but I also don't think going for shock value, thinly veiled as "it's MY special day!" is right. This is your family, and if you can come to a solution that allows you to be honest about who you are and what you believe and at the same time doesn't cause them grief, I think you should.
2007-05-11 00:11:53 · answer #4 · answered by CrazyChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The couple should be happy, ultimately. But keeping the peace with parents would probably make everyone happy. I'm not saying you should do what they want you to do. One option is a non-denominational wedding, with different traditional and pagan elements thrown in together- for ex, your father walks you down the aisle, etc. Then during the ceremony you can incorporate some pagan elements. Write your own vows.
2007-05-10 23:50:51 · answer #5 · answered by fizzy stuff 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I was sort of in the same boat. My husband and his family are christian-I am pagan. We got around this by my best friend becoming an Ordained Minister through the Universal Life Church. She and I wrote my whole wedding ceremony. We made no reference to god or goddess. We made no religious references what so ever. It was beautiful though and meaningful. Just something to think about.
2007-05-10 23:46:48 · answer #6 · answered by zaleonia1 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Can you write vows which include acceptable references to the joining of both faiths. If this is done in a professional ceremony, neither group of parents should be offended, you needn't be too specific about the chapter and verse of each belief. The wedding should definitely serve the couple and their future life together.Do this discretely.
2007-05-11 01:22:27 · answer #7 · answered by Marissa Di 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Save urselves and ur families a lot of grief...simply elope.
Go on a cruise, the ship`s capt. has authority to marry u or go to some resort area and get married by a j.p. When u return home already married, the families can have a reception for u, inviting friends and other family members to celebrate ur marriage.
2007-05-11 01:57:31 · answer #8 · answered by flamingo 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
go with what makes you happy. its your wedding. try to incorporate everything together. remember you want to look back at your wedding and remember how beautiful the day was, not how everyone else didnt get what they wanted. hope i helped.
2007-05-10 23:44:13 · answer #9 · answered by danielle 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know ppl say that it is YOUR day, but, there are ways to respect all parties.... have a civil ceremony..... a justice of the peace and write your own vows..... keep it simple and natural......... God bless
2007-05-10 23:52:24 · answer #10 · answered by Annie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋