should we go through with it????

Question

should we or shouldnt we have a lavish vow renewal ceremony and reception???? i would like to get some other opinions on this...a few people i have spoken too have tried to persuade us not to,saying we should just be happy with with what we had and get over it.........

my husband and i were married 3 years ago in las vegas,alone no family or friends, after our dreams to wed in a big lavish ceremony were dashed by my parents and by other so called loved ones,and a few other circumstances.......

we always said we would have an actual wedding and even though the one we had in vegas was special it would mean alot to us to celebrate with our friends and family....in the way we had planned to originally

i have researched the etiquette online regarding vow renewals....and so far i cant find anything that says that they are weird or just not done!i dont plan on wearing an actual wedding dress...its a white coktail dress with a hot pink sash,and we would have a small ceremony at our church with only family and close friends(about 25 or so),no attendants,flowers girls..etc,a small reception at my aunts house...something simple but elegant.no gifts,or anything like that.......



i would like to have some actual photos of us taken and have our daughter be part of it.



so anyway.....sorry to ramble on....i just wanted to see what others thought about our plans.....either way i guess i will go ahead with my plans but i wanted to see if anyone else had done something like this...or even knew someone who has and could maybe offer some tips!!!

in response....to knobett.....

i have been with my husband for 7 years....we were engaged for 3 years...

we have a beautiful home,nice cars,a great savings plan for retirement and college for our daughter...... if you had completely planned your dream wedding and then one day had to cancel all everything...would you wait 20 YEARS to celebrate????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

Answer 1

I think what you want doesn't sound unreasonable and if its something that you regret having missed out on I say go for it. Why wait 20 years? Life is too short. It's not like you are having a huge ceremony and reception, just a renewal of your vows and a celebration of your love with those that you want to have there.

My grandparents got married out of high school. My mom got married when she was 20 before a family Thanksgiving meal. Both have told me that they always regretted not having an actual wedding with the church, the reception, the photos, the cake and most of all, the white dress. I'm so glad that they shared this with me bc going to Vegas was something that I had considered with a slight twinge of regret. Hearing that after all these years they still lived with that regreat solidified it for me.

Hope that helps and I hope you have a great time with your wedding and reception.

Answer 2

By all means! If this is something that is important to both of you there is no etiquette dictate saying it cannot be done. Many people renew their wedding vows. Most wait until many years after they have been married but you do what is right for you! Congratulations and Good Luck for a long and happy marriage!

Answer 3

I think you should do what you want. Since you asked for my opinion, though, I will tell you that I think it's a waste of time and money, and it's kind of silly. You're already married, so what's the point of getting "married" again? It sounds to me like you have a very happy, blessed life, and I'm not sure why you feel like you missed out by not having a big wedding. But again, it's a lovely idea anyway, and you can do what you want.

Answer 4

I renewed my wedding vows on our 11th anniversary and we had a big wedding the first time. I see no reason why you can't renew your vows if you want to. I wore a beautiful burgundy gown, which was the color my bridesmaids wore the first time. We didn't have anyone stand up for us the 2nd time. We did it in a small white church in the Poconos with about 30 people. It was nice. I say go for it, have your pictures and cake and whatnot.

Answer 5

Honestly that doesn't sound all that lavish. That isn't a knock to your plans but really it doesn't sound super pricey or a waste of money so I'm not sure why people are discouraging you. If you already have things taken care of financially then do whatever you like. If they don't want to come to the ceremony because they feel it's a waste of money then don't let them ruin your day. Enjoy it as much as you can.

Answer 6

Vow renewals are great, and are usually done at the 25th wedding anniversary. However, recently, more couples are getting it done at the 10th. I think your plan sounds totally appropriate, just a nice party to get together with family and close friends!

Answer 7

Yes, go ahead with your wedding vow renewals now. It sounds as if your lives are shared successfully in so many ways, you don't want to miss out or regret this.
If there are any opposing people you really want as guests, you may want to send the photos later. Don't let their disapproval spoil your day. It's about time, congratulations.

Answer 8

I think its a fantastic plan. It's like what you wanted in the first place and really until you get that ceremony you are going to continue to have some disappointment. Nowadays many couples get married quickly and have a ceremony later. Congrats.

Answer 9

people usually get there vows renewed on a 5 or 10 year aniversary but if you don't want to wait that long then go for it, you only live once!! plus you can renew your vows as many different times as you want

Answer 10

I see nothing wrong with it. My husband and I are toying with the idea of doing something like that on our 10 year reunion (we're about to celebrate 6).

Too many circumstances led to us being the couple who can hold court at parties telling about the absolute disaster that was our wedding day. I'd love to rectify the situation. :-)