what can I do to get peace of mind and care for my children?

Question

I am so overwhelmed lately with breastfeeding, caring for our four week old and three year old son and myself. I'm a sahm/wahm with a wonderful and helpful husband but am finding myself exhausted and helpless during the weekdays. I don't have anyone who can come help during the days nearby and can't afford childcare or a sitter.
I have pleaded for my mom to come help but she says she can't. I am at my wits end and starting to feel depressed because of it all. I may need to give up breastfeeding just to give myself a little break. I hate to do this but feel it is becoming my only option. Any advice and suppot is appreciated.

Answer 1

pg, don't feel as if you have to do everything yourself, if you have to drop the breast feeding your baby will survive, you could use a breast pump, as someone else has suggested, also, maybe you are worried about dropping your standards where the chores are concerned? leave the washing sometimes, have a break, it will still be there in the morning! good luck to you

Answer 2

HI love! Yes i know what you mean. I have a 19 months old baby daughter. She is full on and I'm a full time at home Mum, single too!
I don't know how you do it, and yes it would get real hard. But, don't give up breastfeeding, it's the best thing for your baby. You're just over it and need a break!
Can't your husband care for the children for a few hours, or better still a full day and night?
You can express milk for that time. Is there a friend and place for you to go have time on your own? Can you ask someone, or could you and your husband afford for you to go somewhere, doesn't have to be far, but somewhere like a hotel, or caravan park, somewhere?
Your Mother should be helping you out too, sorry, but how selfish is she!!!. You and your children should be the most important people in her life, she should be there for you now!
You and your husband need to sit down and work out where, when and how you can get a break. And now!! not sometime soon.
I put my daughter into a very good daycare centre in my church, she goes once a week all day. I so look forward to my me time and she loves it too.
Keep going honey, it will get better promise, but you need to work out some you time at least once a week. Try and go away and be by yourself for a full day and night.

Answer 3

Hi I also breastfeed all 4 of my children and i want to commend you on that. Having children is very exhausting maybe your wonderful husband can give you a break the weekend pump out some milk before you go and just have a few minutes for you and before too long you will be ready to get back home and feel way better about yourself and your ability to be an awesome mother and wife. Children are a blessing but we all need a break sometime and taking that time for yourself will make you feel much better I think. Grab a sappy movie by yourself or go sit at the library and read a few stories, or maybe just take a stroll in the park just for you. Then go home and let your husband your husband know that you really appreciate the time and maybe he'll even fix your dinner that night! Good luck!

Answer 4

Hi there, I understand your feeling,because I'm in the situation just like yours, but worse, my baby is 3 weeks old and my first daughter is just 18 and half month old, and I also breastfeed. I'm exhausted too..and noone could help...I have 2-3 hours or 0 hour sleep at nights...and sometimes I thought I'm going crazy and I might do something bad...And my husband is a good person but he can't help much, I have to do everythign on my own, he go to work and go home and spend a little time with my toddler and they drive me crazy all the time...he has no patient and he doesn't think that the baby is just one and half year old...she can't think...There are lots of thing about my husband that I'm not happy with, but still he is a good person and he is my children daddy...
See, all the thoughts and all the sleepless hours ...I don't know how long I can go like this...but I don't think about quiting breastfeeding the baby yet, coz I think it's good for the baby, anyway, I dind't breastfeed my first one, she had bottle eversince she was born and she is a healthy and happy lil girl, so I don't think any choice is a bad choice. Just do what you think is best. Hope things will get better and easier for us... I know we have to gain lots of strength for the long run...Good luck to you!

Answer 5

It is hard being at home with kids all day.Maybe you could look into hiring a high school girl for a few hours a day to help with housework,etc..It would be a lot cheaper than hiring an actual nanny or housekeeper. As far as breastfeeding, if you really feel that it's best, don't stop. Maybe you can pump your milk and store it for use in bottles. Ask your husband to help out more, too. Good luck.

Answer 6

do they have a mom's day out program where you live? it's wonderful. 3 days a week for 4 1/2 hrs. it's run through churches in our town. it's very cheap. only $120 a month, and that's cause he's still considered an infant. i know the 2-3 yr olds only cost $60 a month. try calling around or looking on your local childcare certification website. i found a woman who would watch my baby when my hubby was deployed once a week all day for $12. people are willing to help, jsut have to find the right ones. look online, in the paper, etc. hope you find somthing that works!

Answer 7

Look for a "Mothers of Preschoolers" (MOPS) group in your area-they are a wonderful way to get out of the house with your kids, get support, and network with other Moms about shared childcare. Lots of Moms are looking for the same thing you are. Also try asking around at your pediatrician's office, the playground, the baby gym. Treat this like you would a job, because that's what it is; establish contacts and network like crazy to help find ways of making your life work better. You are doing a wonderful job. Good luck.

Answer 8

if it was me, I would give up the breast feeding. People will think that's a bad answer but when you are desperate for help something's got to go. Many babies want to be on the breast for much of the day and night. Also a front-style baby carrier for you to wear would free up your hands more to tend to the 3 year-old. A baby swing is great, too. Using the swing for the baby was the only way my husband and I could eat dinner--baby had colic really bad. To take a shower I would place my infant where she could see herself in a mirror. That kept her entertained long enough for me to shower and dress. I wish I knew how to get your husband or mom to help you. Mine didn't help me either and I often wondered if I could live thru months of no sleep, but somehow I did.

Answer 9

Well, it would be best if you could have a friend or relative come by to help, but it sounds like that might not be possible.

Don't feel guilty if you think you have to take a break from breastfeeding. If the mom suffers, the children suffer.

Answer 10

Sounds like you may have a bit of post-partum depression...talk to your doctor.

But as an immediate help...my friend expressed the same thing about breastfeeding...she said it took her 1 1/2 hours each time...so now she only pumps. That way her baby still gets breastmilk, but she has more time to herself.

Good luck!