We grew up seperately and weren't really close, but it's still really hard. And I think not really having the chance to get to know him makes it worse in a way. I have some really great memories of him, but it just doesn't seem like enough.
2007-05-10 13:21:47 · 6 answers · asked by x_chynadoll814_x 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Yes, you're undergoing a great amount of emotional stress. It'll get better.
2007-05-10 13:29:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, blood is thicker than water, so it will affect you.
The first thing to remember is your feelings are normal, and the way you feel changes, and that is normal too. Also, don't expect others to feel the same way you do, and that is normal as well.
Next thing to remember is there are things that have to be done now, but there are things that can be left until later. This is important because there are two basic ways people have of dealing with death. The first is like a shrine mentality, you know: "Don't touch that, that's the way he left it before he died". The other way is to try and erase all memories of the person, so everything gets thrown out. Both of these are wrong, which is why you need to deal with the things that have to be dealt with and leave other things until later.
Golden Rule: Funerals are for the living, not for the dead.
Who goes and who doesn't doesn't affect the dead person. Just because someone didn't attend the funeral doesn't mean they didn't want to, it just means they didn't. Just because one person wears a suit and another doesn't doesn't mean one paid more respect than another, it just means that one felt differently about it. If someone asks, then say they should dress appropriately for the occasion, but don't make an issue out of it. I personally don't agree with the idea of talking to the body, but that again is an individual thing.
Another thing to think about is others will be making decisions that you won't like, especially as he grew up in a different family. They will be wanting to make the most important decisions.
From a personal point of view, I would go find out about putting on a power point presentation Celebrating his life. This is a very powerful way or presenting a person. Get as many photos as you can and scan them. Then pick out the best and put them into a presentation. Try and do a timeline of the persons life. Also, try and use pictures that celbrate the person life, so have things like awards or achievements in the presenation. Because there sounds like there was a split in the family, I would suggest you try and produce a balance of photos to cover his whole family. If there are any questions asked, say something like "This is a celebration of his life, it's not a criticism of other peoples actions." Also try and have happy photos as well. You could add an audio (Elvis did some very nice religious songs which are very suitable, check out your local CD shop) or have someone do a talk at the same time. I'm sure the rest of the family will be delighted if you want to contribute, just make sure that you know how much time you have and that it fits in with everyones plans. If the place isn't set up for a power point presentation, or you aren't sure how to do a powerpoint presentation, then talk to people like the funeral parlor, they will know of people who can assist you in this. Don't have a small screen either, a big screen is much better to look at.
2007-05-10 14:04:00 · answer #2 · answered by Bad bus driving wolf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am greatly sorry for your loss. With all that is going on its hard to keep up with a lot of the everyday stuff in your life. No matter how close or distant you were with him there is still a strong feeling of loss, because of who he is to you. Its very normal.
2007-05-10 13:33:27 · answer #3 · answered by PipU2 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry for your loss.i can relate my oldest brother died here in my home i dont remember a lot of that week after he died.it is normal.our memories are all we have so they have to be enough.jack died 2 and a half years ago and i miss him everyday he is gone but not forgotten.give yourself time just treasure the time you did have and remember your brother loves you and wants you to be happy.life is worth living.bless you.
2007-05-10 13:40:17 · answer #4 · answered by dixie58 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Perfectly normal.
2007-05-10 13:30:35 · answer #5 · answered by lycanthrp 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
be patient - things will get better.. death is hard to handle..
what you feel is normal. Don't try to avoid feeling pain, let yourself feel it - that way you can get over this. If you try to shove the pain away, it only grows and gets worse.
2007-05-10 13:33:56 · answer #6 · answered by Laura S 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋