We put it very noticible in a different color, and people are already responding that their kids are coming. How do we remind them that they aren't invited? Phone call, note, etc. Please help! I barely know these people, but I know their kids are hellions!
2007-05-10 12:57:29 · 30 answers · asked by Christy K 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
The wedding itself is in Vegas...this reception is a few weeks later at a racetrack where there will be gambling and lots of alcohol...
2007-05-10 13:35:20 · update #1
Why would someone bring children to a racetrack in the first place? That is not an ideal family locale (at least not when I think of racetracks). And as someone said you should never just decide that your uninvited guests are somehow more important than other uninvited guests and add to the RSVP count. Everyone is right, contact them ASAP and tell them I'm sorry but your children aren't invited and if you don't want to attend without them I am deeply sorry that you won't be able to attend. Where would you babysit children at a racetrack even if you wanted to provide daycare?
2007-05-10 14:46:03 · answer #1 · answered by indydst8 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
well, putting it in a different color certainly SHOULD have done the trick...people kinda ignored htat, huh? according to etiquette (and personal preference), i wouldn't recommend calling or sending a note about it. it just doesn't seem "right" so to speak, which isn't to say taht the guests telling you that they'll be bringing kids is right either. from reading various articles, it seems the best method at this point, is to pass along the word to friends and family and let the grapevine tell it like it is. it just seems like confronting the guests would cause ill will etc. or put a spin on it!! if they want the kids there, pass the message that they can come to the ceremony (if they'll stay quiet anywyas lol) but not to the reception. no real GOOD way to do it unfortunately it seems...good luck!
2007-05-11 19:16:12 · answer #2 · answered by adore_weddings 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here is what I'd do. Give them a call and let them know that you are looking forward to seeing them at the wedding and was excited to receive there reply. However you wanted to let them know that your wedding is for adults only. Leave out the part about being hellions (no parent likes to hear that). Instead tell them "well I know your kids would be a pleasure to have, but unfortunately not everyone is able to keep their kids under control and while you do not feel personally that their children would be an issue, you have to be fair with everyone and that it would send the wrong message to the "other parents" with disruptive children.
They may threaten not to come (be prepared for that). Not everyone has sitters lined up for that length of time. Your response should be "well I understand completely, we'll miss seeing you there, however if your situation changes we'd love to see you there".
2007-05-10 21:01:36 · answer #3 · answered by Kati B 3 · 6⤊ 1⤋
You call the people who so rudely ignored the fact that they just invited extra people to your wedding. Tell them that you're sorry but there must some confustion and they must not have noticed that the reception is at a racetrack which is a completely inappropriate venue for children which is why the invitation states its an Adults Only Reception.
2007-05-10 20:41:14 · answer #4 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 6⤊ 1⤋
Phone calls! I would try to divide up the calls to whoever in your family knows the people best. Hopefully they won't get offended. But you have every right to do this. It is perfectly common and appropriate now, and since it is at a racetrack, it is actually thoughtful of you to think of that!
If people do not RSVP, you are supposed to call them to find out if they are coming, so you should call them in this situation too.
2007-05-11 11:55:27 · answer #5 · answered by Lilli 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain my dear. I had a very formal reception, listed on invitiation and response cards, formal adult reception to follow. At least your people wrote in they were bringing children, a few of my guests didnt bother to let us know ahead of time. NO, I am not a child hater, my reception was passed heavy hor.derves, with a sit down dinner, and a chamber orchestra. There was no DJ for kids to be able to run around to. In a rush, thank God my mother in law called a neighbors teenage daughter to come to the ballroom to babysit, and the manager of the facility gave us an additional conference room to house the kids, and ordered pizzas in for them. PS - It cost us a pretty penny for the SERVICE.
My advice to you...... see if both your mom and your mother in law can make the calls for you in reference to your wishes, it will be far more diplomatic for them to do it, then you directly.
2007-05-11 10:48:03 · answer #6 · answered by Lynny K 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to nip it in the bud and make phonecalls to those who are RSVPing -- reminding them that children are not invited as the reception is being held at a gaming facility which requires all guests to be 21+.
So sorry that you are going through this.
2007-05-11 10:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your guests insist on bringing the kids, then suggest that they all take turns watching the kids in a room specified. Or ask if the there is a service that can be used and ask your guests to chip in for the service. All you want is peace of mind and your guests really want to be there but feel they need to include their kids as well. Otherwise, Ask someone if they would be willing to babysit and be paid by the individual guest to watch each kid but make sure they pay by the hour in that way they are more apt to not forget the kids are there.
2007-05-14 14:12:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might have a bridesmaid call on your behalf and explain that the bride and groom have invited only those 18 and older to attend, since they do not wish to expose children to what is more appropriately an adult environment. She could also offer help arranging a baby sitter for those guests if they've not already secured one.
2007-05-14 19:22:03 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It never fails to amaze me how rude people can be. If "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith" were invited on the invitation, then all 6 of the little baby Smiths are NOT allowed to attend...only the names on the invitation are invited.
Unfortunately some people decide if they are invited, they should be able to bring their whole family. But, the fact is, they are not paying for this event. You can have whomever you want at the wedding...and exclude whomever you want, as well.
With that said: Your only option at this point is to contact the people who have incorrectly RSVP'd. Call them on the phone, Tell them you are looking forward to seeing them at the wedding, but unfortunately you need to remind them that this is an Adults Only event. Explain that you understand if they are unable to make it due to the children not being invited, but you need a definite answer on if the adults will be attending.
I'm sorry dear. I know this sucks and may be uncomfortable, but you (or your family) are the ones paying for this wedding, and it is rude for people to assume they can make you pay for uninvited guests.
2007-05-11 08:46:40 · answer #10 · answered by Kat 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋