Husband coming home to a daughter...?

Question

My husband's currently deployed to Iraq. We're going to have a one month old daughter when he's home on leave for two weeks that he'll be meeting for the first time. Is there anything special you could recommend we do as a family...or that I could do for him?

Second...he won't be home again until sometime next year (our daughter will be at least 8 months old). Are there any problems I can expect from either our child, him, or both? What kinds of issues can I expect...like bonding for example...?

Answer 1

Not to give you any hard advice but to level set your expectations. He will enjoy her. He may not want to spend all his time holding her or playing with her. He will be somewhat tense and not be sleeping well. What worked for me was to take a nap on my back on the couch and my wife would put my daughter asleep on my chest and we would have that time together. Waking up was nice and she had that new baby smell – I liked that – just did not like to handle her to much

Good luck with this and God Bless your husband for serving.

"The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help."
- Ronald Reagan

Answer 2

I really liked what everyone else has said, and I agree with it 100% (have a nice quiet time at home, let him decide how much he wants to interact with the baby, etc) but one thing I read really stood out and I wanted to reiterate it. A *really* good idea is to record him talking- whether it be a story or just a conversation, play it often and your daughter will remember the voice and when he gets home she'll be less likely to get fussy. There is nothing worse than the look on a new daddy's face when his little one screams her lungs out because she doesn't know him (and that'll probably be his first thought, be quick to reassure him that it's not *him* it could be gas or the million of other reasons little ones cry). Good luck and make sure that you shower them both with love- you are a strong woman!


p.s.- they have a website for these things called daddy dolls (www.daddydolls.com) which could be interesting.

Answer 3

My wife and I raised a family of 6 kids during my 22 years in the navy. I made 7 major deployments lasting from 6 to 12 months.

Just cherish each other.

At 8 months the baby will take a while to get used to him. Just give it time. Our 6 all turned out great.

Answer 4

i know the feeling. my husband left me 7 mths pregnant and came home to a 4 mth old daughter. since he's coming back when she's still little, she won't be as shy yet. let him do as much as he wants with her. holding her, feeding, especially those dirty diapers. just have a nice quiet time at home. after the long trip home, the last thing a soldier wants to do is go on another trip to disneyworld or whatever and travel someplace else. when he does come home, she will realize she doesn't know him and it will be hard for the both of them. she's not going to run to daddy's arms and he will be a little timid of her as well. it hurts to make your own kid cry. the times she woke up crying in the crib or in the morning, i let him go get her, i let him give her the bottle. also make her a daddy book in those plastic books they can suck on and talk about him and say there's daddy. maybe if he could record himself reading her a story or something, so she'll recognize his voice later.

Answer 5

He would probably love a home cooked meal. And I'm sure he will want to spend as much time as possible with you both so you don't need to do anything. Just stay home and savor the time you have together.

Answer 6

get pictures taken of your new family all together for the first time!!!
www.oplove.org is a great website that offers free photography sessions to deployed soliders on leave. my husband and i used it and it was a great experience

Answer 7

Just have them stay as close as possible till he goes back and she will have to relearn who he is upon his return, But it will be just fine.
Good luck to you all