Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy & Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.
Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother... Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane... at this point Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for suppertime. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asked little, Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. (continued.... sorry out of space.)
2007-05-10 12:38:02 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
I went back to look & he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army. Mommy fainted!
THE MORAL OF THE STORY IS:
Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story before you interrupt.
**Star if funny.
:D
Sorry if anyone has heard it before this is my first time hearing it.
>:]]
2007-05-10 12:38:35 · update #1
I've noticed the strangest thing about men who hang out in bars a lot. It seems they have only one of two reasons to be there: They have no wife to go home to.... OR they do.
One day, a blonde who lived on the 12th floor of a high-rise apartment building was out on her balcony, flapping the bed sheets to air them out, when suddenly a great gust of wind caught the sheets and sent her over the edge, plummeting to her death.
"Oh, ****!" the woman thought, "what a stupid way to die."
Without warning, a man on the 10th floor balcony stuck his arms out into the air, catching the woman.
Delirious from shock, the woman shouted, "Oh, thank you! You saved my life, thank you!"
The man replied, "Do you suck?"
Stunned at this, the woman said, "No, I don't suck!"
And with that, the man let go of her.
"****!" the woman thought as she began to plummet again.
Suddenly, another set of arms grabbed her at the 9th floor.
"Thank God!" she screamed. "I would have died if it weren't for you!"
The man asked, "Do you ****?"
Absolutely aghast, the woman answered, "No, I don't ****!"
Once again, the arms that held her safe were no longer there.
Falling again, the woman thought that she would surely die.
Just then, a set of arms stretched out from the 7th floor. Not believing her luck, the woman shouted, "I suck! I ****!"
"****," the man said, and dropped her.
Little Johnny has always had a fascination with sex, and always talked to his parents about it. One evening, the conversation got around to talking about penis's.
Johnny's dad tried to explain it to Johnny in a child like way.
"Well Johnny, your penis sleeps for a very long time. Sometimes when it is around women, it wakes up, stretches and grows to about 5 inches long and..."
"Dad", interrupted Johnny, "That sounds a bit small. Mum said that Bob's next door is twice as big!!!"
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me was screams of laughter.
A guy runs into his ex-girlfriend at a bar.
"I had sex with another woman last night," he tells her. "But I was thinking of you the whole time."
"You miss me that much?" she asks.
"No", he says. "But it kept me from coming too fast."
"The porn industry totally shut down. They estimate that this porn shutdown has put over 6,000 actors and actresses out of work, 400 cameramen, and 1 writer."
2007-05-10 16:11:57 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good enough heres a star
2007-05-10 12:54:19 · answer #2 · answered by BEAR 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That was hilarious.......I've always liked the little johnny jokes. He's a funny/clever little tyke.
LOL
2007-05-10 12:45:19 · answer #3 · answered by kiako 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Very Funny!! It was the first time I've read it on here...Thanx
2007-05-10 23:19:41 · answer #4 · answered by fdk30 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
omg that is so funny 100/10
that is a hundred out of 10
2007-05-10 12:42:39 · answer #5 · answered by mommy to be 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
l.m.a.o.! That is so funny! I told that joke a while back at a friendly gathering and got great reviews!!!
2007-05-10 14:43:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good one
2007-05-10 13:46:17 · answer #7 · answered by jdnsmama13 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I've never heard that one before! That was funny! :D
2007-05-10 15:28:40 · answer #8 · answered by A 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
effing hilarious you get a star
2007-05-10 12:43:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
i heard it before but its still good
2007-05-10 12:45:43 · answer #10 · answered by rebelady28379 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋