Has anyone ever moved out of state away from family and friends? How has it worked out for you?

Question

My husband may be getting a new job in Illinois. We currently live in Jersey near family and of course friends. I really don't want to go but my husband will be getting a substantial raise if he takes the job. My question is, if anyone has ever moved far from family because of a spouses job has it had ill effects on the relationship or did it all work out for you in the end?

Answer 1

Welllll, I am an Illinois native, lol.

My family and friends are obviously all from Illinois (it's not so bad there, you know ;-) haha)

I moved 1000 miles away from all of that for my boyfriend at the time.....our relationship actually got better, and we are now married. He knew that I really had no desire to move....and the only thing making me move was him.....so he has been really great. He takes many opportunities to remind me how much he appreciates me being here.

You just can't be so moody and angry with him (not saying that you are), but you really have to be supportive. Remind him that you're there to back him up.....and having your hubby, your BEST friend around......it's really not so bad moving to a new place.

The GOOD friends that you had before actually keep in touch....and taking visits back 'home' is special.

If this is a good opportunity, then I say go for it! I think if anything, it will show how strong your relationship is!!!

Good luck!!

Answer 2

Our family moved to the other side of the country 5,000km away from the loving friends & family that had always been there for me.
I found the experience pulled my husband & I very close together and formed a family bond.
I managed to keep in contact by email and with some family got even closer after moving away, as it's easier to send an email & recent photos then drop in for a visit sometimes!
Our move was a 2 year contract and after the 2 years returned home to family & friends.
Very happy to be back but had a great experience being away and found it wonderful to see a different part of the country.
If it was to be a permanent move it could still be excellent although I think it would be good to travel back for a visit whenever possible.

Answer 3

When I was growing up, we moved every 2 years because of my dad's job. I always thought it was really cool. We even lived in Illinois for a while. (Joliet) Illinois (when you say it, don't use the "s") was great I thought. Chicago was a fabulous city, not far, and then we had the small town feel living in Joliet. I've now lived in So. Calif for the last 30 years, and would love to move again. Looking at it from my mom's perspective, I'm sure it was hard. No family or friends around. She was pretty introverted too. As far as your move, look forward to something new. This is a great way to explore something outside of your realm. Think of the weekend road trips you and your family will get to go on. Get involved with your new church or the kids school. You'll meet a lot of nice people. Good luck.

Answer 4

My husband and I are both British, due to his job we haved moved several times, we even lived 2 years in Mexico and 6 months in Vietnam. Now we are living in the USA with a new baby and all our family and friends are in the UK.

It has made our relationship stronger because we support each other and look out for each other. Also we don't have any problems with interfering in-laws!
We had some guilt trips from parents initially but we never got into discussions with them, we just said, "This is how it is, we're moving, get used to it and we'll keep in touch, so don't argue with us and drive us away!"

We don't take our problems out on each other - or if we get stressed and snappy we always apologise. We make the effort to be a team, and show each other a lot of respect because there is no one else here for us.
We are really happy, and making new friends too so we don't feel totally isolated.

If you have a good relationship with your husband and strong communication, it will be fine.

Answer 5

short answer, or at least an attempt at being short. I did just that, had my family move almost 700 miles from what they had always known. but we failed. It's tough. unless the marriage is strong. If we had been the same couple, just as in love as we were when we moved, it would have been okay. But time, and neglect are powerful tools. As are time and attention. If you're sure that you two can weather it, and you both work together towards holding on to one another it'll be a great relationship builder. But, if you have doubts, then seriously ask yourself, and ask yourselves if you can do it.
Remember to never get so busy making a living, that you forget to make a life. Good Luck, and Best Wishes for everything.

Answer 6

I moved away for college to another state from California to Virginia. I really thought I would stay on the East Coast. I thought it would help things with my sister and I. I have known a lot of people who have moved to another state for a job or a spouse's job, etc. I agree that things should be supportive and make an effort to make new friends. Good luck.

Answer 7

I am a Jersey guy, too. I spent some time in the Navy and remained in Virginia a couple of years after my term. It was over 300 miles, but I got to take a trip up home regularly and called quit often.

I'm back in Jersey (southern) and my wife, well I stole her from Virginia. She gets to talk to her family often and her folks come up here twice a year (with 4 kids, we don't travel much, to be honest).

I've known many people seperated from their families because of a move - many of whom were quite close to their families. As a matter of fact, one family I knew for over 10 years moved from here to California. With time and contact arrangements, the ache does dissipate.

Answer 8

If you love your husband you will make it work.

Your family and friends now have a great place to come and visit. You also can go back home and visit them when you have time off.

It will all work out. Just stay positive and don't think about what you can't do, think about what you CAN do.

Email, sending digital pics, web cams, cell phones have free nights and weekends, plus you get to explore a whole new city.

Answer 9

I can understand how you feel.. i moved to NZ from Australia to be with my partner... as he is studying Uni in NZ for 2 years and it was the only way we could be together.. before i moved over i was living near family and life was great i was happy having my friends around me and having my family close by to fall back on.. I was so scared just like you before I left.. Thinking of having no family around me and that things might not work out because i would be miserable without their support and things would be so different and my relationship might fail, and that it would be hard to get a job and to settle in… but I made the choice to do it and although it has been hard it gets easier.. I have a stable job now, I still talk to my family via email and phone and am visiting them soon its not the end of the world.. You will be with your partner and you will settle in.. I don’t miss my family like I use to I love them just as much but you just get use to your new life and it just seems like home and natural after a while. I don’t regret moving.. You cant always be with your family.. They will always be with you no matter where you go.. It will be different and hard to start with but I think you will be happy and you will be supporting your partner and just be happy to be with him… I am happy and everything has worked out for me.. just think of it as a journey life is taking you on..
Goodluck!

Answer 10

I live 2.5 hours from my family and we live in the same town with his family we have been married for 15 years. I don't think that it really matters, you can still communicate with friends, via email or phone, and family sometimes is better left alone. Sure it will take adjusting to but be patient and atleast give it a chance. Who knows you might like it that you are alone.