This is going to sound extremely weird, but I need the help. Me and my boyfriend just started to go out. I've been talking to his friends, and they say that he's super horny and will want to finger me as well as the possibility of me giving him a bj/hj.
In my personal opinion, those things are really appealing, and aren't a necessity in a relationship.
So my question do you is what should I do? If I say no to partaking in these activities, will he break up with me? (I probably should add that this is my first real boyfriend and I'm almost 17). Any help would be amazing.
Thanks!
2007-05-10 09:11:59 · 11 answers · asked by lil_tennis_qt 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I probably should mention that he is the same age as me. **
2007-05-10 09:19:10 · update #1
I just wanted to respond to what "smashcruiserarc" said. I'm not saying that a relationship will never be sexual, though fingering and bj/hj isn't exactly what a relationship is about. I believe in no sex until after marriage, and I'm going to hold strong to that.
2007-05-10 09:21:40 · update #2
His friends are trying to help him get lucky. They are preparing you so that you will be ready for all of this when the bf decides to do them.
However, for your own sake, don't do anything you aren't 100% comfortable with and want to do. If you aren't ready, then do not allow it.
Good relationships will never ever be determined by if or when or how a couple has or doesn't have sex. Sex is the great hider of reality. We don't see what really is or is not there, because we are so focused on sex. Relationships aren't made on the basis of sex, they are made on the basis of love and common interests.
2007-05-10 09:15:21 · answer #1 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You say that sexual activity isn't a necessity in a relationship but why do we form relationships? Why do we fall in love? It all comes from the reproductive instinct and is tied very closely with the sex drive. If sex wasn't an issue, there'd be no need to have a boyfriend or girlfriend; they'd just be another friend.
However, that kind of thing also should not be rushed. If you are not ready, you are in your rights to say no. If he cares about you, he'll understand and will be willing to wait until you are ready.
2007-05-10 16:17:21 · answer #2 · answered by smashcruiserarc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are his friends talking to you about his sexual habits?
Don't do anything you're not comfortable doing.... and if he bolts, so what? He sounds like a jerk anyway, IMO.
On the other hand, a little exploration is not necessarily a bad thing at your age. Play it by ear and see how it feels when the time is right...
2007-05-10 16:17:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kia A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you are not into those things. Who cares if he breaks up with you. Do you have any idea how many other boys are out there in the world? Think about your future - not boys. (I sure wish someone told me this when I was your age.)
You have years left to worry about boyfriends. Have as many boyfriends possible. You don't have to do anything with these boys.
2007-05-10 16:18:01 · answer #4 · answered by Jenn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its not wierd at all; if you are not comfortable with doing things like that yet then if he truely likes you and wants to be with you he will wait and if he is just wanting a piece then he isn't worth your time anyway so sit him down and just talk to him about it im sure he will understand and if not he doesn't deserve the title "first real boyfriend" ⥠hope i helped
2007-05-10 16:16:46 · answer #5 · answered by ♥ Lyss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how old is he? you should never be forced into doing something that you don't want to do. that's not a good way to start out a relationship. just be careful. and if he tries to make you do something that you don't want to do then just talk to him about it. if he doesn't understand, then you shouldn't be with him because he should respect you, and your body.
2007-05-10 16:16:31 · answer #6 · answered by emma-me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he doesn't want to be with you because you say "no" then you don't want him anyway! Trust your judgment and be true to yourself. NEVER let a man (or anyone else for that matter) make you do something that you don't believe in.
Follow your HEART!
2007-05-10 16:16:23 · answer #7 · answered by Miranda H 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advise is don't do it, if you do he only wants you for sexual satisfaction. Plus he'll probably run and tell all his friends since he's already telling them he's horney. If he breaks up its his loss....you really don't want the world to know your personal life....Good Luck!!!
2007-05-10 16:20:27 · answer #8 · answered by ♥RaCheL♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your not in to what he is in to then why stay with him. if you don't he will find someone that will latter in life cuz that's what he is in to .. my girl will do stuff i like that shes not in to but just to make me happy so if she ask me to do any thing i would for her. if i don't she will find someone how will latter in life . if you don't love him Enif to make him happy why are you with him
2007-05-10 16:28:09 · answer #9 · answered by chuckmartin1998 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if he really loves you, he will not make you do anything you dont want to do. put him to the test.if he doesnt accept wat you want, thn its time to move on.
2007-05-10 16:15:27 · answer #10 · answered by urz_truly92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋