im engaged to this really sweet guy who is like my best friend, we have dated for almost 5 years now, the thing is im not in love with him, only in love as a friend. It makes me cringe to think of being physical with him and the thought of marrying him scares the crap out of me and makes me depressed...i dont want to hurt him but im afraid i might have to, i need advice
2007-05-10 09:01:36 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well you need to tell him exactly how you feel because if you love him as a friend, then treat him as a friend. Being truthful is the best way to handle your situation. He might be very hurt or angry at first but it will be better in the long run. Just tell him how you feel, you will feel better. It will lead you both to your soul mates.
2007-05-10 09:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs.W24 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you had only said you were scared of marrying him- part of that could just be stress kicking in, as the reality of marriage came closer. But the fact that you cringe over the "physical stuff" makes me think you are alread hurting him- if you are engaged and not having sex, he likely already senses your reluctance. So I say reconsider the wedding plans and have a talk with him- perhaps his feelings are different now too and he was afraid of hurting you as well.
2007-05-10 16:07:12 · answer #2 · answered by GEEGEE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you really need to end this now. Just get it over with because if you don't do it now you will inevitably do it later so save yourselves both the time and cost of divorce. You can't be engaged to someone who makes you depressed at the thought of it!!! I don't know why you would even need to ask or think about this. Just tell him you are better off as friends. You need to make sure YOU are happy, not worry about his happiness.
2007-05-10 16:08:16 · answer #3 · answered by S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why is heaven's sake would you agree to marry him, if you did not love him. I can understand that you might have had a lapse and thought that you might be able to change the way that you feel about him, but seriously, after 5 years, if they havn't changed they won't. It is best to be honest with him. Begin by telling him that he is your best friend, but he is just that. But really you need to talk to him about all of this A.S.A.P. -
2007-05-10 16:41:49 · answer #4 · answered by syns_pleasure 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok why are you with him then, When you get engaged its because you cant see your life without this person you love them so much you cant let go. Dont waste you or his time. Your future husbands waiting out there for you.
2007-05-10 17:01:00 · answer #5 · answered by stephybunten 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The worst feeling there can ever be is be married and regret it. If you're not truly in love with him, you shouldn't. better safe than sorry. but, poor guy. you shouldn't have said yes to his proposal if you didn't love him more than a friend.
2007-05-10 16:07:39 · answer #6 · answered by *Lovely Phoenix* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your not in love with him it would be wrong to marry him. Just think if you marry him and a man come along and you fall in love. That will destroy him. You have to let him know now.
2007-05-10 16:08:03 · answer #7 · answered by LDJ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as you dont want to hurt him your hurting him more by faking this relationship. You need to sit down and be honest with him and give him an opportunity to meet somone who wants to be with him. Your not being fair to either one of you.
2007-05-10 16:08:38 · answer #8 · answered by Boss Chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get it over with you've already hurt him bad enough by staying with him and not being in love with him. It is best that you get it over now rather than waste another 5 years of his life
2007-05-10 16:06:10 · answer #9 · answered by travistate69 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
After five years of dating, especially with no physical contact, it should not be that hard to break it off,
Spare him the grief of being with someone who can't truly appreciate him, he needs someone who will truly reciprocate.
2007-05-10 16:18:48 · answer #10 · answered by LeeChue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋