my brother is eleven, a fifth grader. his parents always fought and cused eachother out and hit, now their divorced, and my brother is just like his father that abused him. he is angry at the world, cusses out his mother and sister and grandparents, and threatens everyone. what can we do to make him the nice boy he was when he was two?
2007-05-10 07:53:35 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Therapy. There is no other answer.
2007-05-10 07:59:14 · answer #1 · answered by Proud mommy of 2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From experience here..............
Therapy will only help a child who WANTS to be helped. Me and my daughter have been through couseling for 3 yrs now. She's very angry and abusive towards everyone because me and her father got divorced.
She will do great during therapy for awhile, but then she doesnt want to do great anymore... so she rejects the therapy.
Dont force the therapy, it wont help. Instead, take your brother out to the park, the mall, take him to meet new friends. He's most likekly just starving for attention, because he never got the attention from his parents that he should have. Maybe if he had a new direction in life, with fun and nice friendly friends, he'd be nicer to other people.
(p.s. I cannot picture ANY boy being nice at 2 yrs old. lol)
Help him understand that his parents getting divorced is not his fault, but their own. Help him realize that there are better things in life, than to worry about the past.
2007-05-10 08:31:15 · answer #2 · answered by mannasox 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Children live what they learn. Ask him what that means when he does such to see if he even understands the behavior or if he is just imitating what he saw. Ask him if he hates his mom and sister and grandparents. IF he says no then ask why he acts that way to them. IF he says yes, then ask why to address his behavior to help him see that is not good. Boys will go through a phase of trying to copy their dad at certain ages. Then the boy tends to be seeing his dad as a role model. The dad needs help to get this corrected best if he sees him alot. The boy needs to talk with a counselor perhaps and see if there are ways to work to correct this before it worsens. Good luck and hope that things improve in this soon for all. If the dad continues his negative attitude a judge may need to limit his contact due to reason of emotional harm happening.
2007-05-10 09:15:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take him to counseling to have him to talk about what is troubling him. Him reverting back to how he was when he was two is totally impossible, because so much has been done to damage him and to make him angry. He needs to deal with his anger and the fact that the family has been split and he needs to deal with the rage he has inside that causes him to hit, scream, yell and cuss. It will take him and all that are involved with him to go to counseling and get this problem dealt with before it leads him down the path of destruction and him destorying other lives in his path. Also you can look for any signs of substance abuse, the drugs are getting to our children at a more younger age and at a more rapid pace.
2007-05-10 08:00:47 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I and my son have been in the same spot as your brother. Therapy may help BUT only if he wants to. Look for a group of other kids his age that have gone thru divorce or abuse but they talk amongst themselves with an adult observing. Ours in Va is called Rainbows they may have a group where you live. Try and show him as much love as possible even when he is difficult. If he starts to hit grab him in a hug and hold on til he relaxes. Who does he open up to the most .. have them try and start a conversation about what could be bothering him. A scare tactic that helped my son with the threats was a visit to our police department. They talked to him about abuse, hitting and threats and where he could end up. He even met some of the inmates that were in there for the same things. He needs to know he is loved and what happened with his dad was wrong but he is not to blame for it. He is probably feeling confused, hurt and guilty. Also try talking to his school councilor they maybe able to help.
2007-05-10 08:33:47 · answer #5 · answered by jozoey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This situation is too difficult to handle on your own. Your brother is angry and hurt and has learned some very bad ways of dealing with the world. Discipline will NOT help here; he is going to be able to resist any discipline given him. The other posters are right when they say he needs therapy.
2007-05-10 08:18:26 · answer #6 · answered by Cris O 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would taje him to counceling. No shame in seeking help from someone outside the family. When I was 11, my parents got divorced. I wasn't really mean, but depressed...a lot! Counceling helped me. Cuz I found out, it was easier to talk to a stranger than my own family. And someones it can be that way for me today. Find a good councelr near your home, ad take him,. If you do nothing, he will become his father. Get him some help.
2007-05-10 08:01:43 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that can be done is counsling. A child's very first and most important teachers in his life are his parents. Obviously this boy's parents taught him to be violent. Frankly he should have ben in counseling long before this because now puberty is setting in as well. You can't blame him for being taught to be the way he is.
2007-05-10 13:20:16 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Counseling of course but his parents are to blame for this. Why do they fight in front of him? THEY taught this to him and now they can't deal with the "monster" they have created. This boy needs help. It doesn't sound like he has any positive role models at home. If he doesn't get help now, he's going to have a very hard life. Poor kid.
2007-05-10 10:17:54 · answer #9 · answered by musicpanther67 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs professional help. There's nothing you can do as a family to undo a lifetime of abuse, that's what professional therapists get paid for. And I have to warn you, he'll never be the angel he was at 2. None of us is. Life experiences shape our personalities. He (and the rest of you) will just have to learn to deal with the reality of how his mind and emotions work now.
2007-05-10 09:58:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him in therapy now. My hubby was abused too, and it took years for him to understand and control his feelings. The ultimate betrayal of a child is when they are hurt by someone who should love them
2007-05-10 07:58:00 · answer #11 · answered by parental unit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋