A Joke -- Funny Or Not?

Question

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a frying pan.

"What was that for?" he asked.

"That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Mary Lou written on it," she replied.

"Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Mary Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on," he explained.

"Oh honey, I'm sorry," she said. "I should have known there was a good explanation."

Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold.

When he came to, he asked, "What the hell was that for?"

She replied, "Your horse just called.”

Answer 1

...Still funny!!

A philosophy professor stood before her class and had some items in front of her. When the class began, silently she picked up a large empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks. She then asked the students if the jar was full? They agreed that it was. So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. She shook the jar lightly. The pebbles, of course, rolled into the open areas between the rocks. She then asked the students again if the jar was full. They again agreed it was.

The professor picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. Now, said the professor, I want you to recognize that this is your life. The rocks are the important things - your family, your partner, your health, your children - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else. The small stuff. If you put the sand into the jar first, there is no room for the pebbles or the rocks. The same goes for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out dancing. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, give a dinner party and fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first - the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

But then... A student then took the jar which the other students and the professor agreed was full, and proceeded to pour in a glass of beer. Of course the beer filled the remaining spaces within the jar making the jar truly full. The moral of this tale is that no matter how full your life is, there is always room for BEER.

Answer 2

You Know You're A Redneck When... 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat. 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their restroom's so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart. 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back. 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65. 31. If your family tree doesn't branch.....

Answer 3

Funny!

Answer 4

That's Hot!

Answer 5

This is funnier

Some men never learn!!!

A husband found himself in big trouble when he forgot his wedding anniversary.

His wife angrily told him, "Tomorrow there better be something for me in the driveway that goes from zero to 180 in five seconds or less."

The next morning, the wife found a small package in the driveway. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.



Visiting hours for the husband at the hospital are limited due to the extent of the injuries...

Answer 6

Not funny for me, but I've heard it before and saw the punch line coming.

Might be funnier to younger people. That's one of the problems with getting older, you start to hear jokes repeated. :)

Answer 7

funny

Answer 8

funny

Answer 9

Good one. Very funny.

Answer 10

Heard it before, slightly funnier than the last joke you posted