My Boyfriend didn't know anything about my past until he started hearing rumors about things i've done some true some not.. so he asked about my past and i told him everything and now he says he can't trust me because its like i lied to him and its like he looks at me differently now. i just thought it didn't matter since it was the past!..was i wrong?
2007-05-10 07:08:41 · 15 answers · asked by XGlaMkiLLedHerX 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
well i experimented with a girl and hes a christian boy who against any same sex anything!
2007-05-10 07:30:28 · update #1
no you were not wrong...
he should not hold your past against you.
if your past is effecting you now in anyway then maybe you should have come clean about some things. but if the past is really the past and is not effecting your future then he shouldnt have a problem with it.
good luck hun!
2007-05-10 07:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by Boot-Z 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, here's the thing... It depends on how serious the relationship is. If you have been dating for only a couple months and it isn't like you were talking about marriage, then this guy isn't the one for you and he is just being immature. But if you have gotten to the point where this has been a really long time relationship and you were talking about marriage then the past does matter. The past is a part of our lives. Especially when it comes to sex.
It doesn't mean a person needs to know every detail about your life, but they may want to know how many people you have slept with, or if you are a virgin. It is really devastating to a guy to think that he is your only one and find out he was wrong.
What sucks is that now you have to decide how important the relationship is to you. If you love him, you will sit down and talk with him. Let him ask questions and ask how he feels and why he feels that way. Then ask him what he expects from you or what he wants you to do.
If he is just a guy you are dating, or he wont let up and try to trust you, then it won't work out no matter what you do.
2007-05-10 07:16:38 · answer #2 · answered by Amanda G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If what you did in your past has some profound effect on your current relationship with him then I could see his concern. If that took place well before the two of you were together and you're "honestly" not doing the things you used to then it really shouldn't matter that much. No one should know "everything" about you. Some things are just for you to hold on to. Everyone is entitled to their privacy and own personal space as long as the other person is not being put in harms way by you withholding that information. There's probably things about him that he'd never tell you. Don't let his insecurities change the person you are or the person you're trying to become. People make mistakes and bad decisions on a daily basis...you either grow or stay stagnant. If he's not willing to let the past go....get past him and move on.
2007-05-10 07:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your actions are your actions no matter when. You always have to live up to them sometime. If you are proud of your previous actions then tell him so. If you are not proud of them, then you know you shouldn't have done it and ask for his forgiveness. For some things it doesn't matter when you did them. If a pedophile moved in next to you and your kids would you say, oh well he's changed. Most people would not. That is a bit of an extreme example but at some point in your life you have to own up to how you have lived. Being young isn't an excuse for anything, you still knew what you were doing was right or not at the time. If he is a worthwhile man he should be able to forgive your past, but it doesn't mean that because it happened before him it is completely whiped away.
2007-05-10 07:16:55 · answer #4 · answered by Mr. Right All the Time 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It all depends on what it is really. There are some things that should come out, and others that are really none of his business. For example, if you had had unprotected sex with previous partners he should have known that just for safety reasons. Specifically who it was would not be his business. If you had a history of drug use and were still using them, that would be his business, but if you were no longer taking them, it would not be.
If you had some kind of problems in your past that could potentially have any effect today, he should know about them. But if what we're talking about are things in your past that you have gotten past, then he has no right being upset about them; it's not like you can change your past, and you've worked through it.
2007-05-10 07:26:13 · answer #5 · answered by smashcruiserarc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the things you did befor were exactly what they were the past and had nothing to do with him if you havent done anything against him he shouldnt worry about whats been already done we all do stupid stuff tell him to get over it and if he doesnt want to know dont ask you at least you were honest and told him everything you could have lied
2007-05-10 07:15:55 · answer #6 · answered by chadjuly4 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The past is usually a good indicator of the future. Not always people change, but if I asked you to marry me; and you only wanted to married once and forever. Then i said this will be my 12th marrige what would you think? Worth the risk?
2007-05-10 07:13:32 · answer #7 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aS LONG as you were not with him at the time and you wren't dating its your past, he should not judge you. If there was stuff in the past u did while in a relationship w/ him then yes he can say something./ what u did before u knew him is your business!
2007-05-10 07:12:03 · answer #8 · answered by NY Yanks Girrl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the loser. What you did before you were with him is none of his business. You came clean with him when he asked you to and if he's now got the nerve to hold that against you then that's his problem, not yours. His loss...
2007-05-10 07:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by Marianne D 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Not @ all. If it happened before his time then he needs not to worry about it. He should accept you for who you are now.
2007-05-10 07:17:26 · answer #10 · answered by Kardo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋