He always talks about things for "when we're married" and gets excited about building a house and living together. He is taking classes at a local school and doesn't get to work full time though so he said right now he doesn't have the money for a ring. Although he always reassures me he wants to be married I'm scared that he may just be afraid of commitment.
2007-05-10 07:04:12 · 25 answers · asked by Krissy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Don't pressure him. Rings are really expensive and it probably hurts him to think he can't afford one. He shouldn't have to go into debt to get you a ring. If you have a good relationship and you both want to get married, it will happen, but maybe not is not the right time for him. He may need to save up for a while, or wait until he gets a full time job. If really want, suggest getting a really cheap "placeholder" ring and then replacing it by a certain anniversary date (far enough in the future for him to be able to afford it).
2007-05-10 07:22:37 · answer #1 · answered by hellolacey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No i dont think thats the issue. Alot of people put preasure on a ring and make it a big deal. I been with my boyfriend for 5 years now and we cant afford a fancy ring so i do without for now. if hes in school and not working full time he cant afford one. i would reassure him that you dont need a fancy ring. you can get a fake diamond for now and still get married.
2007-05-10 07:09:24 · answer #2 · answered by rebelyankeelove 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to have a ring to get married. If both of you want to get married - then go for it. Marriage is NOT about rings.
P.S. If having a ring is of utmost importance, and you have more money than he does at the moment - just get your own. If you're planning to get married, it's all coming out of the same "pot", anyway - financially speaking. Any debt he will incur purchasing a ring he can't afford will be yours, too.
2007-05-10 07:52:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the problem is since you went shopping together, he realized your tastes were not within his budget. Reassure him that whatever he chooses for you will be wonderful, that it is not the cost of the ring which is important, it's the symbolism. You can get gold and diamonds for $100 and up!
Four years is a VERY long time, girl....
2007-05-10 08:49:51 · answer #4 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in the same boat! My husband was actually getting dperessed thinking about the ring he wanted to get me and how he had no money for it - so I bought it - and his! He didn't mind because I let him make the very small payments to my credit card - and he got to commit to me and still feel like a man - he still chose the ring - still proposed almost how he wanted to - and still felt all the man about it! I hope this helped!
2007-05-10 07:09:58 · answer #5 · answered by kitykatt09 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This could be alot of things. All I can say is make sure he's not using this marriage thing as a tool of manipulation. I have a friend in a similar situation. Her boyfriend just keeps making empty promises about marriage and uses the money issue as a reason every time she confronts him about not going through with it.
2007-05-10 07:21:37 · answer #6 · answered by cyber_music 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably not a real good communicator, right? be careful - if he can't tell you how he feels now - you don't wan't to marry the guy. He needs to talk to you and tell you what's up - maybe he feels he's being pushed and he wants to be in control of when you get married. or maybe he just doesn't have the $$ and wants to wait till he can buy you the ring he feels you deserve.
2007-05-10 07:14:18 · answer #7 · answered by suzanne p 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So just cause he's being smart and not putting himself into debt for a ring you think he's afraid of commitment? If its that important to you to be married than offer to have a fake ring with a promise to replace it when he's done with school. Or you could just wait for, it sounds to be like he's just being smart and waiting to offer you what you deserve.
2007-05-10 07:08:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How about relaxing and trusting what he says? rings, weddings, homes etc...are expensive, and they can not be bought on a part time salary. Let him get his education to help secure a better future for both of you...support him in that right now. Put aside conversations of more than that...
Don't rush marriage...if you two are meant to be together this is only a small moment when it comes to a lfetime together.
2007-05-10 07:08:46 · answer #9 · answered by allrightythen 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I saved up a hundred bucks and went to the pawn shop and bought a ring.and i got the cashier to throw in a 22auto remington rifle! pretty good right? I later had the ring appraised at 400 dollars
2007-05-10 07:14:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋