First of all, I suffer from BPD. I met this guy, and I like him and would like to keep him. However, I find myself having separation anxieties and unbearable disappointment and depression because of a minor, but not so minor to me disappointment from him. I am starting to hate myself and thinking I may never change and recover despite being in therapy. I don't want to ruin this relationship just like everything else.
2007-05-10 06:56:01 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Mental Health
Little one, BPD 's are made, not born in you...so whoever caused you so much grief,...gave you a big dose of total low self esteme. I bet, you are such a sweet girl, and I bet that people love you very easily. Just remember what God and Jesus tell us, that we are ALL sinners, and that NO one is perfect, the only One that was perfect, was Christ Jesus...so that means, that even though you may have some issues from earlier treatment,...everyone has issues, in one way or another. Someone else might lie, steal, cheat, do a lot of things that aren't really good in God's eyes, but they get away with it...I know, that if you had God and Jesus in your life, all of your worries would be over, because you would learn how to forgive and love the people that abused you in the first place...My prayers are with you, and just be yourself honey, because someone out there is going to fall deeply in love with you, all of you, know matter who you are. My love, x
2007-05-10 07:47:41 · answer #1 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Borderline is so difficult to live with and to treat, because you're trying your absolute best to be realistic, loving, loveable, etc., but you probably have a naturally occurring pattern of idealizing and then devaluing people, as well as the other things you mention like self-hatred and anxiety around your personal confidence when it comes to separating from him. It's very normal for this to happen with people that have established this pattern.
If the relationship ends, it won't be because YOU ruined it. To say this assumes you can absolutely choose whether or not to be this way. You can't choose. You just are.
Dealing with this requires so much work, mindfulness, and consistency. Dialectical Behavioral Therapy has shown a lot of promise in helping people with these personality patterns. Have you done any of that? It's worth a try if you haven't.
The right guy for you will be a steady ship. He will care about you consistently even if your feelings for him aren't consistent.
2007-05-10 07:04:36 · answer #2 · answered by Buying is Voting 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say you are in therapy....you need to discuss this with your therapist, and learn how to think more positively and get control over your negative thoughts and feelings. If you want to make it work with the guy, you've got to overcome the disappointment you feel in him and trust him again. Of course, you could also decide he isn't the right guy for you and move on.
There's a self help book out there called "Mind Over Mood" which might help you realize that maybe minor incidents are triggering very major negative thoughts and emotions in you. You could start writing down how you are feeling and figuring out that you are taking things to an extreme. Thinking this guy disappointed you should not turn into "I hate myself." There's no logic to that thought process. Sometimes writing things down makes you realize you are engaging in distorted thinking.
2007-05-10 07:10:57 · answer #3 · answered by Lee 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest counseling/ therapy? have you had a bad relationship before?.. so you aren't able to trust.. or to blame yourself?
2007-05-10 07:13:27 · answer #4 · answered by brunetteqt5135 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't hate yourself! Just do whatever you're heart tells you to do. Whatever may make you happy. :)
2007-05-10 07:05:48 · answer #5 · answered by Midna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋