Here is my situation. I don't know why, but it seems like I cannot initiate a relationship. It just this feeling of uneasiness I get when I talk to people, especially to people I don't know. Its weird too, because I live with a friend who I have known for the last 20+ years (since we were kids), and I still have those uneasy feelings around him. Anyway, this makes it near impossible to start a conversation with a woman. It's even hard to look at one, because I cannot tell whether I am looking to long or if they think its inappropriate. The last relationship I had was when I was 16, which ended in massive failure. Now I'm 22, and been out of the loop for so long that I feel like its time to give up. Anyone know what the hell is wrong with me?
2007-05-10 06:30:38 · 10 answers · asked by Nicholas P 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
you have low self esteem. your fear the unknown.
no way around this, but REJECTION is apart of the social
thing we call dating. but if he does, ask him why ? and if
the answer is lame to you then take it with a grain of salt and
think of it as "you better off w/o him. his loss not yours"
also
be real. be honest. and be upfront.
it also helps to have good hygiene, be a fair health and
learn to be an active listener.
most of all, communicate up front, dont be rude but do have an opinion and speak up when its your turn to talk in the conversation.
if they "loose" you, think of it as their loss.
dude, your 22. take a chance. ask that cheerleader or sorority chick out. or that girl in your history class. what the worst she can say. "NO". well fine then, let it go and go try again. but don't become obsessive over a female. just learn to accept it.
2007-05-10 06:35:50 · answer #1 · answered by troyleenall 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your self esteem has gone to ****. Get up and start not being shy. Looking at a girl isnt wrong and if they look back and stare something is up which is good. If a girl dosen't like you or looking at them they will not make eye contact with you at all so dont worry about them getting mad.
If your 22 get out to the clubs and bars. Meet some girls dont be to nervous to talk. Talk with her for awhile and ask question is all you have to do.
2007-05-10 13:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's a good way to start a relationship and a bad way to start one. In the beginning, you don't want to be too pushy, meaning you don't want to e-mail or call the person a bizillion times. That's a turn off. When it comes to checking a girl out, just glance, then turn your head. If she catches you, just smile and wink, but don't be to cheesy yet.
You are still young enough to figure things out. You will be fine.
2007-05-10 13:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Aubrey B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i think ur problem is that you want to me this great gentlemen. Like u said u cannot tell whether ur looking to long or if its inappropriate. Just relax and take a drink loosing up. if its inappropriate she'll walk away or say something 2 u. U have to come off confident even if ur not u have to come across. Grab a friend who's a girl and practice dating have her tell you what ur doing rite and wat ur doing wrong. Girls understand if guys get nerves and tell you, were not as bad as u think.
2007-05-10 13:38:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow and realize it is always awkward at the beginning. There isn't anything wrong with you or the other person, it's just two people getting to know each other. Yes, it's odd, awkward, weird, but once you get past that, it can be wonderful.
2007-05-10 13:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by John B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When I was getting "professional" help my psychologist told me I had problems with "engaging" which meant I stayed distant and detached ... then, of course, we explored the reasons why I needed to stay distant and detached. We is what we is, darlin'. If you want to establish intimacy, you have to take some chances and just be who you are and not be so afraid. You might want to seek some professional help or try reading the "Four Agreements" it might explain some of what you feel and why.
2007-05-10 13:37:08 · answer #6 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a lot of anxiety. I would suggest a good counselor. Talk to someone who can help you figure out what is causing all of this anxiety in social situations. It isn't healthy to feel so disconnected from everyone.
Good Luck!
2007-05-10 13:34:00 · answer #7 · answered by Christina 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have issues with anxiety. Check with a psychologist, if you don't want to be prescribed medication, or if you do, a psychiatrist. They may be able to help.
2007-05-10 13:34:18 · answer #8 · answered by gilgamesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A psychiatrist probably does and could help you!
2007-05-10 13:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://www.shakeyourshyness.com
http://www.adaa.org
http://www.teenrelationships.org
2007-05-10 13:33:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋