MOH not throwing me shower?

Question

My MOH's not throwing me a shower 'cuz she said that's not part of her cultural tradition. When she had her shower, they threw it themselves. I'm a little bother by this. Am I being selfish for feeling hurt or cheated?

One of my bridesmaid did offer to throw me a shower but i still cant help but feel hurt that my MOH wasnt the one to throw it. Who do u think is in the wrong here? me for being slighly selfish n not understanding her culture or her, putting her culture into this and for giving me the short end of the stick?

Answer 1

It doesnt matter her cultural traditions, this isnt her wedding, your cultural traditions should be honored not hers.. Yes, she should be throwing it for you, but you cant actually MAKE her do it. How about the other bridesmaids or even your mom, you are kind of stuck on this one because you absoluetly CAN NOT host one for yourself, someone has to do it for you. I would talk to your close friends and your mom, someone will most assuredly step up and do it.

No you are not selfish, you should be hurt. This is just a lame excuse, she doesnt want to do it and if I were you I wouldnt just be hurt, I would be furious. Maybe you should rethink having this girl as your MOH?

Answer 2

To my understanding the MOH always threw the bachoralette party. I think that my MOH and my mother are working on my shower together (not suppose to know, oops). Maybe your friend does not feel that it is her responsibility to throw the shower. Maybe she feels it is the family's responsibility. Or maybe she just does not have the money or time to do it herself and you are getting an excuse. Or maybe she is just trying to throw you off so it will be a surprise. However, You're allowed to be upset if you feel that you are not going to get the party at all. It's tradition. However, maybe you should try talking to your friend again and asking if that is the real reason. Also, make sure you tell your other bridesmaids and parents that you know that your MOH is not going to throw the party. This way maybe they can set something up.

Answer 3

I think if your MOH isn't throwing you a shower, the fact that someone is offering to do it is all that matters! My friend is getting married this year and her MOH also isn't throwing her a shower. The reason is that the bride's maid (my friend's cousin) said that the bride's mom and aunts don't like them and wouldn't attend. The MOH is just leaving it and if the groom's family or someone else wants to throw one, they can.

I think that if anyone is taking the time and effort to plan this for you, be happy and honoured! Your MOH doesn't need to be there one to do it, especially if she has cultural/religious reasons not to.

Answer 4

I think you're being selfish. You are *expecting* a shower - but it is not something to be expected; it is something to be grateful for if it happens. Your MOH doesn't *OWE* you one; it is a voluntary tradition. If you want a shower - take up one of your bridesmaids on her offer, or throw your own. It's about having fun, not about keeping score of who does what. I'm sure your MOH is being generous to you in other ways. Take a deep breath, and try to appreciate your friends for who they are.

Answer 5

MOH do not HAVE to throw a shower for you, so you should in no way feel hurt.

You already said one of the bridesmaids has no problem doing it, so its not like you are missing out on a shower.

Answer 6

No. Its up to the MOH to throw your shower, and assist in planning your stagette too. Along with the other duties like planning the social, and all that other fun stuff! However, you may need to let her know, that in your culture, it is the MOH's task to throw a surprise shower for you. And if worse comes to worse, ask your mom. Tell her the situation, and just explain that you really want a surprise shower. There is nothing more sweet, or loving than your mom throwing it for you.

If you don't want to do that, make it the bridesmaids job. Let them all know you want them to throw it for you. So you can keep them all involved, and the MOH may just see how much it means to you.

Answer 7

you should have told her what you expected of her when you asked her to be the MOH. It's not required for the MOH to throw you a shower. Let the other bridesmaid do the shower and talk to the MOH telling her what you expect her other duties to be and if she balks at any more of them ask her if she'd like to step down and let someone else be MOH

Answer 8

What about your other bridesmaids? or your mothers close friends,it is not written any where that it has to be the MOH to throw the shower they usually do the bacholorette party, but if she doesnt even do that my feelings would probly be hurt to just dont throw one for yourself thats tacky. As for being selfish definently not thats a part of getting married, celebrateing and getting presents.

Answer 9

don't feel bad i didn't get one.
How ever I am just a brides maid in my sisters wedding and I'm trowing a jack and jill. the MOH i wedding is not helping either not even returing phone calls or email. I don't think you being selfish and her tradition should have nothing to do with your shower this is you time not hers I think she might be being a littel selfish. If one of your braids maids wants to throw you the shower by all means let her do it.

Answer 10

You really shouldn't *expect* someone to throw a party for you. It sure is nice when they do, but if that's not her thing, then you'll have to accept it.

It doesn't *have to* be your MOH who throws the shower. If that's the way they do things in *your* culture, that doesn't mean that it's the way that *everyone* should do it.

If you don't want to do it yourself, but you really want a shower, anyway, is there anyone else that you could ask to throw it for you? New in-laws? Combination of your mother & your fiance's mother? Bridesmaids together?