Hey!
Last night while she was out her mobile was making odd noises and turned out it was a miss call from a person who I knew (a woman she works with) but by accident I deleted the miss call, so then I delted the miss call log so she wouldnt know I had been on her phone, but as I did that it popped up saying you have a voicemail and I knew it was this same woman but she doesnt have voicemail set up so I deleted the message in the inbox saying you have a voice mail and the next text scared me! It was from this turkish guy (he left his name&you can tell by the mobile) (I must explain we have an apartement in turkey) & I felt so sick reading it, it was "hope your well I miss you, I care about you, I love you xxxx" & I felt awful so I skipped on and found a load more text (about 8-10 more dating back to mid-october last year) & some of them were asking her for money (£1500)& one gave some bank details where to send money & another was about "how he had not recieved any post from (my mum)"
2007-05-10 02:30:45 · 19 answers · asked by Music fan 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
another txt was about how he likes my mum and how he would pay her back and all these text are ending in kisses and some end with love xxx and it makes me sick and scared at the same time (in september they have been married 30 years) but as I looked through I found another number and from this one it said "Ive moved from London to manchester, you have the car, you knw when your holidays are, come see me" so I dont know if its a turkish bloke who lives in the uk or what I dont know but I found the one and only txt she has in her sent box as she doesnt seem to keep any there and it went "I dont normally talk to strange men as im a good girl but your different, take care" and now I dont know what to think and to cap it all it ruined my night out last night I met up with my friends at 11pm and I left by 1am I just kept wondering about my mother so Ive had a night out ruined by these txt and it got me wondering if my dads done this too?
could my parents have had flings? or am I going OTT?
2007-05-10 02:36:04 · update #1
TO ALL OF YOU WHO TELL ME TO MIND MY OWN BUSINESS
WHEN AND IF YOUR HUSBANDS OR WIVES EVER TEXTS LIKE THIS THEN REMEMBER THIS QUESTION AND I HOPE IT EATS YOU UP WITH WORRY LIKE I AM AT THE MOMENT
2007-05-10 02:48:39 · update #2
I'll email you. x
2007-05-10 04:20:48 · answer #1 · answered by JC 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
This started out as an accidental discovery, but now you've found something you obviously can't ignore it. If you don't figure this out it will tear you apart inside for years until you know the truth (even then it doesn't always help - but at least you know). It may be that you're mum is falling for the usual scam to get a passport/money etc..., and may not have done anything 'wrong' other than being vulnerable/gullible due to circumstances in her own life/home/work. Now that the doubt is in your mind though, I reckon that you need to talk to her about it. I don't think she'd appreciate not knowing that a stupid mistake or misunderstanding on her part, ruined or impaired your life and your future decisions. Best wishes!
2007-05-10 11:24:20 · answer #2 · answered by QueenBee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
k obviously I hadnt seen this until you sent me the mail but now I have my advice is as follows - you cant just keep wondering about this as it will drive you insane so I think you need to ask your mum straight out - could you tell her your phone was temporarily broken so you used hers without asking her permission and found a text by accident originally - and then went on to read the others. DO NOT talk to her about this if your father is in the house though - give her a chance to explain - it could all be very innocent - this turkish guy could be a guy looking after your apartment for all you know - a janitor or something!!
Stop thinking the worst until you speak to your mum - if she gets odd about the fact you looked at her phone - admit you were wrong to do it - coz ultimately you were - but tell whats done is done and how you wish you'd never seen them - but now that you have your sick with worry and you want to hear her side of the story.
xx
2007-05-10 09:58:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You actually have two issues here. First, you crossed a boundary line by going into your Mum's phone and reading and deleting messages. Are you willing to be honest with her?
The second issue sounds like something that does raise a red flag and may need to be addressed. The question is, is it your place to address it with her? From what you write, it sounds like your Mum may be being used. On the other hand, this may be a legitimate debt that she owes.
If she never mentioned the relationship to you, she has her reasons. Since we don't know anything else about your Mum, (i.e., does she have a history of being used by men?) it's difficult to advise. The only way you can talk to her about this situation is by admitting to her that you were in her phone and deleting messages. You'll have to take the heat for that.
Is there a close relative or family friend you can go to with this issue? If you explain the situation and express your concern, maybe that relative or friend can help you talk to your Mum and offer help to her if needed.
In the end, this is your Mum's issue and, as much as you love her, it's none of your business. I know that sounds harsh but sometimes people have to learn the hard way in order to make sure the lesson sticks. And sometimes people who love them have to stay out of the way so they can learn. Follow your heart and do what feels right.
2007-05-10 09:50:34 · answer #4 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
You read about this kind of thing in the papers every week ... woman (or girl) goes on holiday - usually to Turkey or Africa - is paid attention by a smarmy waiter or barman, gets damp knickers with the chat and next thing she's up and away to live in a sh*thole with him and his 96 brothers/sisters/aunts/uncles/goats etc. etc.
Hopefully she'll grow out of it - especially when she realises what a silly cow she's been for sending money to the no good waster - but as for confronting her, it will only do more harm than good.
Leave well alone and hope she gets over it.
2007-05-10 10:47:59 · answer #5 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My Mum did exactly the same thing for 10 whole years!
After a string of Turkish flings she settled with one of them as a Holiday fling for 8 years.
When he married a local girl it ended.
My Mum was cut up because she believed she truly loved this guy.
For the whole time we led double lives, holidaying with him in his country. Coming home to my hard working father - who incidently is not an angel either! - it's hard!
My Mum always denied the late night calls, then took us (me and my sibling) to him for 2 weeks at a time, followed by revisits she did herself in the winter. All this without m father knowing.
I have not got too much helpful advice. It'll eat you up inside like it does me. Just confront her however hard it is. Believe me I know it's hard. I'm so sorry for you.
Contact me if you want a chat again.
xxxx
2007-05-10 10:11:29 · answer #6 · answered by Kate 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your mother let her know what you did and what you found apologize for reading her personal text messages and ask her what is going on tell her how you are feeling and what you are thinking. She may be very angry at you for reading things that really you should not of but at leaset then she can clear the air and put your mind at eas. Good luck and remember you wouldn't like it if she invaded your personal space respect hers in the future.
2007-05-10 10:20:22 · answer #7 · answered by Kathleen 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your mom and dad are PEOPLE just like you...they have a life besides being your parents. Whether it's moral or not, you should be minding your own business and stop snooping on your mothers phone. You wouldn't want someone snooping into your privacy, would you? They deserve the same respect. Now, leave it alone and MYOB!! Your mother is a grown woman and she can work things out if she wants to. Perhaps she's just talking to someone because it makes her feel wanted. I don't think you should be thinking the worse. Either confess that you've snooped or keep your mouth shut and stay away from her things.
2007-05-10 09:42:45 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I don't know how old you are, but would you favor your mother going through your diary or journal? This is called invasion of privacy. When you go snooping you don't know what you will find, but you cannot comment or be emotional about what you found because IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!! Your mom had a life LONG before you were born and I'm sure she can handle herself. Since you were snooping, and not very well I might add, you do not have the entire story, which can make things look different than they really are. So, in essence, you are being "ripped apart" by YOU, not your mother's actions. Are we too scared to ask what's going on? Damn right! You had no business poking around.
You REALLY want to put this behind you? Pay more attention to your own backyard. It leaves less time to look into other people's.
Your MOM is not your wife or husband. MYOB!!!!!!!
2007-05-10 09:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by swilson_lewis 3 · 1⤊ 4⤋
what you must do is ask your mum what she's playing at...tell her that you looked in her phone...she may not be too happy about it but you have a right to know what she's up to....is your dad still on the scene? if so...for god sake do not tell him, you won't be thanked for it...get your mum and have words with her if it's a great concern...if someone is taking money from her then call that number and tell them to bog off.....pretend that you are your dad and warn them never to call or text again...
2007-05-10 10:21:04 · answer #10 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
WELL FOR ONE I WOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT
HER SENDING FUNDS TO A MAN IN TURKEY. IN
THE PAST I HAVE SEEN ON THE DR. PHIL SHOW
HOW SOME WOMEN HAVE SENT MEN MONEY
IN OTHER COUNTRIES AND HOW THOSE MEN
HAVE DRAINED OUT THEIR SAVINGS ACCOUNTS.
I KNOW YOU ARE CONCERNED, BUT HOW
WOULD YOU ANSWER THE QUESTION OF HOW
YOU HAVE COME UP WITH THIS INFO. I HONESTLY
DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN FIX THIS. YOU NEED
TO SIT AND THINK BEFORE YOU ACT ON THIS.
TO ME IT SOUNDS LIKE A SCAM. THERE HAS
TO BE A WAY YOU CAN APPROACH YOUR MOM
ABOUT THIS. AND IF YOU APPROACH YOU DAD
IT WOULD PROBABLY MAKE THINGS WORSE.
I HOPE YOU CAN FIND A RESOLUTION FOR
THIS PROBLEM. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK
AND HOPE EVERYTHING TURNS OUT OK.....
2007-05-10 10:40:53 · answer #11 · answered by Rosemary M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋