Need suggestions on vows to my future Step-daughters?

Question

Hello All,

I'm 26, and I'm marrying a 43 yr. old man with two daughters. The girls have been part of my life for the past two years now...they are with us every other weekend.

We are including them in the ceremony, they will be part of our "Unity Sand ceremony" (instead of a unity candle), and at some point during the wedding, I'm going to give them each a piece of jewelry (The 13 yr old is getting a necklace, the 11 yr old is getting a charm with a charm bracelet).

As part of giving the jewelry to the girls, I intend on explaining why we picked those pieces of jewelry. I also want to give some sort of vows/promises to the kids..but I have no idea what to say.

I want to recognize the fact that I'm not just marrying their Dad...I'm becoming part of their family. They will be the only children I'll ever have.

I need suggestions on vows...ideas on what to say...or tell me if you have done this in your own wedding..

Details on the jewelry: We chose the jewelry by having each girl pick 5 pieces of jewelry out of a big jewelry book....all of the pieces were "beach" or "sea life" themed, like our beach wedding.

From those 5 choices for each of them, we picked one piece that fits the individual child.

One of the 5 chosen by the eldest daughter is a gold pendant with 4 swimming dolphins...she said it represented the 4 of us. The youngest daughter had a colorful sea turtle as one of her choices...and she is a very colorful personality (she is the one who keeps us laughing at every dinner table conversation), so we picked that one for her.

To answer the question about whether I will ever have children due to my age:

First of all, no offense taken at all..but...the answer is no. Steps have been taken to make sure that there is physically no way that we will have more children, which is fine with both of us. I've never desired a child of my own, 2 is enough for my future husband, and through my fiance, I lucked out, and got two GREAT step kids. :) (Plus, they already came potty trained and half grown up and out of the house *kidding* )

That is not to say this has been easy...I am not a patient person, and I've never had children of my own, so this has been a long road and we still have things to work out...but it was important to my fiance and I to include the kids in the wedding. We're making a new family, not just becoming husband and wife.

Thank you for the tender words. This is very important to me...I have 11 months to the wedding, but I'm already working on vows.

Answer 1

Promise to be their friend, confident and supporter in their honest endeavors as they grow and mature into the wonderful vibrant young women they have within.

Promise to support their Dad and their natural Mom as they go about raising two such lovely girls.

Promise to be there for them to share the happy times and to help lighten the sad times.

Since these will be the only children you will have, thank them for being your answer to immortality.

You're one in a million, sister.

Answer 2

I will have to get personal with you, and I apologize if you think my question is inappropriate. You are 26 and husband to be is 43. Are you 100% that you will not have a child of your own? It has been known to happen. IF there is any doubt, that the possibility may become a reality at some time by design or accident, I would not include that they" are the only children that you will ever have." In any event , I wish you all of God's blessings and happiness.

Answer 3

Talk to your officiant, they now have family vows that they can include in the ceremony. They ask the children if they take you to be a part of of lives...its very touching. You could also give them the jewelry and say something like "I give you this necklace as a token of my love, and I promise to always be there for you, to care for your needs, (etc) thank you for letting me be a part of your life and your family. I love you."

Answer 4

I dont have any advice, but wanted to let you know that I think this is so touching. I am not really a cryer, but this made my eyes mist, especially the pendant and the charm explaination, how lovely your new family sounds.

All the best of luck to you four!

Answer 5

Explain to them just as you explained it to us and i think you will have everyone attending in tears.I will also caution you on saying they are the only children you will have unless you know for certain that you will never have kids of your own.Best of luck sounds like you all really love each other.