2007-05-09 15:32:21 · 30 answers · asked by victorious 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
im 29,hes 30.my daughter was 5 when we met.and he and i have a 6yr old son together,thats adding insult to injury .first we were both in agreement,we wanted to wait til the 5th yr.then he started saying were not financially set.bulls#!t.then came the other excuses.i mean damn were not even engaged.and now i have this funny feeling that when he does asks,im going to say no.now what do you think.
2007-05-10 07:16:28 · update #1
If you mean you've been with this man for 9 yrs. and you're not married yet, and you're not happy about that fact, then you need to do something about it.
The specific circumstances are important though. If he has been with you for 9 yrs. and has told you he wants to marry you, but hasn't, there is a reason. Either,you are living together and he is satisfied with that arrangement & doesn't see the need to marry you, or he never intended to marry you, never intends to marry you and just keeps talking about it to keep you from leaving, or something! There is a reason!
Find out the truth. Ask him if he ever really intends or wants to marry you or if he is perfectly content with the way things are. If he answers your question, then you have to decide what to do with that answer. Stay, leave, it's up to you. Don't let him make all the decisions in the relationship! Do what you want to do.
If he will not really give you an answer to that question or if it's the same old stuff he's been saying for years, that is an answer in and of itself. It means that he does not even yet feel comfortable enough with you or love you enough to be honest with you, and if he can't be honest after 9 yrs, he never will be able to be honest!
2007-05-10 04:15:45 · answer #1 · answered by valschmal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
More information needed.
Age of both?
Living together? How long?
Children?
Have you talked to the other half about marriage?
If no, START. If yes, WHAT was said and how long ago was it said?
As for someone who mentioned common law marriage, its NOT as simple as living together for a certain amount of time. You'd have to act like husband and wife and file taxes like husband and wife and introduce each other as husband and wife. There are many requirements before you would be common law married, that is, IF you are even in a state that recognizes common law marriages anymore.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Common-law_marriage
2007-05-10 14:00:00 · answer #2 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Getting the piece of paper is not the important thing . Some people do better without it. I've seen many couples together for YEARS, that didn't last 6 months after marriage. I'm not sure why , but expectations change , priorities change , people change, not sure why. Love is the most important thing, and to keep love communication is most important . It seems to me ,marriage is only important in child bearing/rearing .I may be wrong.
2007-05-09 22:39:28 · answer #3 · answered by htuch2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you both need to evaluate your relationship and see why you haven't made the commitment. Perhaps you or your partner are scared of something so permanent. Don't waste any more of your time with a person who doesn't want the same things you do, or can't provide you with what you need. Hopefully all will work out well for you and you can stay together as a couple and take it to the next long overdue level.
2007-05-09 22:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by mochachinna76 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That all depends on the couple and what each individual in that relationship wants. Me? I would NEVER want to date a guy for nine years and STILL be wondering when and if we were ever going to tie the knot. But marriage is something that is important to me, so that's what I want! If you are OK without it, then Cool! If not, you need to be up front and honest with him and tell him how you feel. 9 years is a long time to be dating! You should tell him what you want, and if he doesn't want the same things out of life... maybe its time to reconsider!
2007-05-09 23:19:46 · answer #5 · answered by KT 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Has the topic come up at all?
My cousin got married after being with his now wife for 11 years. They were high school sweethearts and everything, but chose not to marry until they were in the late 20's.
2007-05-09 22:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I will have been married 2 years in August.. but we have been together since 1998. If you are in love with each other just wait it out. You both have to be ready or it will not work. My hubby and I waited for no reason we knew we loved each other and that we were gonna get married but it took us that long and we are just fine.
2007-05-09 23:13:58 · answer #7 · answered by Jules 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave I gave my now husband 3 years to make up his mind Now mind you we are 40 something and I wasnt about to waist any more time. But 9 years is a little on the long side. What is the problem if it waiting until you getmore money then thats just waisting your time if its I am just not sure yet ,then dump him and go on.
2007-05-09 22:37:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
A piece of paper does not mean that someone loves you. Try to focus on if the realationship is a good respectful one. Just look at the divorce rate. Doesn't mean much other that financial security, even then that isn't a sure thing.
2007-05-09 22:39:18 · answer #9 · answered by openminded 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you want to get married and he doesn't, then the two of you are not a match, no matter how much love is there. Girl, you waited SIX more years than I would have!
2007-05-10 07:28:49 · answer #10 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋