My 5 year old says he doesn't like meat.?

Question

Ok, I'm not a vegetarian and will continue to offer meat. In the meantime, what else should I offer to make sure he grows well. I am not about to accept his proclamation that he won't eat animals yet. I'd like him to reach at least 4 feet tall before I let him choose. Yes I am sarcastic and yes I am also serious. I love to eat meat and serve a portion every dinner and he is picky and way too smart for me to lie to.

Thank all of you for your input and suggestions. I wouldn't learn anything if I only considered the input of people who think just like me. I am grateful for the time you all took answering me so honestly.

I am still going to offer meat, but I am going to try to be more casual about it. I think his diet is pretty good, his favorite foods are peas, nuts, and any fruit. (I try) In the meantime, I am going to investigate the links you provided me with so I can de-mystify this protien thing. It seems like you have to be a chemist to combine things in the right way to get the full benefit.
He is an extremely intelligent little boy and sometimes I wonder if the meat issue stems from some of his other little "quirks", for example: Dryer lint almost makes him puke and a peice of tape stuck to his dad's foot acually did. He also gets very frustrated if he can't master something immediately. I'd like to extend the time on this question because I'm getting such great input in this forum.

Answer 1

I've met quite a few vegetarians who started at that age in much the same way your son has. As for myself, I tried to become vegetarian when I was 7, because deep down in my gut, I knew that eating animals was wrong. My parents made me continue to eat meat until I was 14, however. By the age of 12, I'd developed an eating disorder, largely in response to having no control over my diet.

Now, I find it really frustrating that people are hard on vegans for raising their children in the vegan lifestyle. They say they're not giving the child a choice, but what my parents, you and the other people who have posted here don't seem to think your child should have a choice either. Like the people tricking their child, what's the point of tricking your child into eating meat? Are you that manipulative over other areas of your child's life? There's nothing wrong with continuing to offer meat, since it is what the rest of your family eats, but I don't think you should force it. It can have disastrous consequences.

For now, you should make sure you're serving a wide variety of fruits and veg along with some alternative sources of protein for your son, such as beans, lentils, nuts, tofu, (eggs and cheese if he still wants to eat those), etc. Faux meats if you want to.

Also, to set the record straight, I don't think vegans or anyone else should force an ethical diet of any sorts on their kids. I also don't think people should let their kids eat whatever they want. I just think that moral issues like this should not be forced, only nutritional ones (like eating peas, I'm not upset about my parents force feeding me those!). Personally, I'll raise my kids to not only eat vegan, but understand why, but when they get to the age where they're eating outside of the house, and can voice their own opinions, it's all up to them. People have enough issues with food, let's not make it worse.


EDIT: Re your later comments. Scientists used to think that incomplete proteins needed to be combined to make complete proteins at every meal. They now agree that this is not the case. They can be eaten within even a few days of each other, so no need to stress about that! FYI: Soy products and quinoa are both sources of complete protein. And beans and rice is a good example of two incomplete proteins coming together to be complete. So are mushrooms and vegetables.

Answer 2

I would allow him to express himself. Making an issue of him not wanting meat will make him hold his ground more. I suggest that for the time you go with it, offer him vegetarian foods, they are probably healthier than what he is eating now. In my experience of taking care of children I notice the complete lack of vegetable and fruit intake. A plate of chicken nuggets is not a healthy dinner for a growing child. I'm not saying that you are feeding him only junk or plates of meat, but if your child is willing to consume more vegetables and healthy grains then go for it. I'm sure many parents wish they had the oportunity.

Children go through phases. He is most likely trying to assert a bit of independance. Be supportive, food can be a major power struggle between parent and child. My guess is he will go back to eating meat as long as you let the phase pass.

For the mean time be sure that he is getting enough protien. Choose beans, nuts, grains to replace protien. Children age 4-6 need only 24 grams of protein per day. Protein is in everything, just look at labels.

If your son is still eating eggs, drinking milk than b12 is covered, you could also try fortified cereals.

I don't think this is about letting him choose, but allowing him to discover himself as an individual. Making big a deal of food issues does not usually turn out well.

Also I think tricking him is wrong! He may be a child, but he deserves the same respect that you would give an adult. By tricking him you are essencially teaching him that deception and lying are acceptable means of getting someone to do as you want. I'm sure that is not a lesson you want him to carry with him. Be glad that you have raised a child that has a mind of him own and not afraid to use it, don't squelch that.

Good luck

Answer 3

my son is 4 and has been going through something like that. though he's on the better end of it, here's what has been working for me... my pediatrician told me that this is a common test with toddlers to see where he can get some control. i discussed this plan with him and he approved. when my son rejects dinner he gets no dessert and doesn not get to eat again until morning, usually around an hour after dinner he gets hungry and i pull his plate out of the fridge, warm it up and he eats. only once has he really refused and went until breakfast without eating, trust me your son will not starve, mine didn't. in the morning he ate a great breakfast which included fruit and milk, oatmeal with cinnamon and maple syrup, and that night he remembered that he went to sleep hungry because he was stubborn and gobbled that meal down, and got dessert. i have found that a little offering of dessert is enough to tempt him into eating the meal, and i am very health conscious with my family's eating so when it's time fore dessert i don't feel guilty giving him some frozen yogurt or strawberries in pudding or something like that. good luck!!

Answer 4

Well, I'm 19 years old now and I've been a vegetarian for 13. I haven't eaten meat since I was six and I don't regret that. Five is old enough to decide that, even if it seems like a big deal. My parents spent years trying to shove meat down my throat.

Try meat analogs (veggie burgers, soy milk). They have a lot of protein and are a great supplement for meat. If you support him and feed him a balanced diet, he'll grow up fine. His cholesterol will be lower than the average American and the fat content of his diet will be much, much lower. Most studies show that vegetarians are, in general, healthier than most people.

He'll be fine. Just let him be.

Answer 5

You're right, he's smart. You're not going to get away with scamming him into agreeing with your choices, particularly since his choices are much healthier, and he apparently is very well aware of that fact.

Any dietitian would tell you that, for your own good, you need to be eating more plant-based meals that you do. But your son will do himself no harm whatsoever by being a vegetarian, just so long as you educate yourself on what's required. When you do go, you just might change your own mind as well.

I'm giving you sources for information. When you son is old enough, share it with him. In the meantime, don't sabotage his goals. That's extremely poor parenting.

Answer 6

Everyone here seems to be suggesting you "trick" your son into eating meat, but he can have a healthy diet without eating it.
I am not a vegetarian, but I know that with the right things your son will grow to be perfectly healthy without eating meat.
It is of course your decision, but I would suggest giving him peanut butter, lentils and other beans to make sure he is getting enough protein, and of course fruits and vegetables.
Is it really so wrong for him to choose not to eat meat?
If you do trick him, hopefully he won't resent it later in life if he does become a vegetarian.

Good Luck with it.

Answer 7

My son is a vegan and he's healthier than any of the other kids his age...he's also taller and more socially developed. (he's 21 months).
You can offer him lots of things. Here are some examples of what I give my son:

calcium enriched pasta with plain tomato sauce

quinoa instead of rice (1 cup of quinoa has more calcium than an entire quart of milk!)

tempeh (found in health food stores. It has a nutty/mushroomy taste that is fantastic!)

setian (wheat gluten and water) this is really yummy and you can just use it like you would any other meat

tofu hot dogs with ketchup

oven baked fries

vegetable stir frys with sweet teriyaki sauce

go to www.ppk.com for some awesome recipe ideas! :)

Answer 8

Who is brainwashing him about eating meat?
He needs protein in his diet and most 5 year olds do not eat a lot of beans, the #1 source of alternative protein.
If he is not allergic to peanuts- peanut butter in the diet is a huge help.
If he will eat a burrito, that is a good way to get beans in the diet.
Continue to serve meat, sometimes it is the way it is presented. My picky grandson loves chicken on a stick. It is teriyaki chicken strips, sliced very thin, and threaded on a skewer. The cooler the presentation the better.
He won't eat a hamburger?
Someone may be influencing him in an unhealthy way if he is that adamant at such a young age. Or it could be a phase. My son went through a vegetarian phase for about a year, and then decided that animals are grown specifically to be used to sustain the human race.

Answer 9

I can totally understand that you are feeling frustrated with his declaration, but lying to your child about what he is eating just doesn't seem right. Did you ask why he all of a sudden has decided not to eat meat? Perhaps talking to him about it would help you understand his rationale. I think that it is really nice that you are looking for resources to help feed him what he needs eventhough you don't agree with or understand his decision.
My nephew decided not to eat meat around the same age and while it was really tough for my sister to deal with at first, she says that now she respects his decision and loves her how compassionate and passionate lher son is. She still makes meat for the rest of the family for dinner, but usually makes him a special meat free entree. Also the rest of the family eats a meat free dinner twice a week for health reasons. She usually serves veggie burgers, pasta tossed with vegetables, stir fry, or some kind of vegetarian ethnic food. My nephew really like beans so bean burritos and things like hummus are favorites.
Just be sure your son gets enough protein from alternate sources like eggs, beans, cheese, yogurt, soy products, etc.
Here are some good links to nutrition sites that may be useful:
http://parenting.ivillage.com/gs/gsnutrition/0,,77,00.html
http://www.vrg.org/nutrition/
http://www.kidshealth.org/parent/nutrition_fit/nutrition/vegetarianism.html
http://www.vnv.org.au/NutritionInfo.htm
http://www.bbc.co.uk/food/vegetarian_and_vegan/children.shtml
Hope this helps! Good luck!

Answer 10

First I want to commend you on investigating alternatives for your highly intelligent and sensitive son .. The answerer #2 who lied to her son..shame on you ..I would not lie to my child or trick him .. I have raised 2 vegan sons (one is 6 foot, one is 5'10"s)..and yes I know this to be a very healthy and sound diet ..sometimes with intelligent and sensitive individuals , their body senses a problem and they unconsciously avoid it .. example as I child I did not like shrimp..refused to eat it ..when tested as a teen with allergies ..my strongest and potentially deadly was iodine ( thus shrimp would have sent me to hospital) I am only saying this is possible .. I also want to say eating fruit, nuts,beans,carbs,whole grains ,veggies ,tofu ,etc are all so incredibly healthy ..and I never thought much about my sons eating or their diet except to give them carbs (pastas,rice etc) , veggies, fruits , nuts in abundance ..they are healtheir then any of thier friends and I have no doubt will remain healthy and live long .. .. so feed him healthy organic food and research on line sites ..you will see how truly genius he is ..