2007-05-02 15:39:17 · 14 answers · asked by The Naughty Librarian 5 in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ STDs
Ok, I guess I should clarify. I don't have sex outside of marriage and obviously you can't wait until then to tell them. So, with that in mind, at what point should you tell someone you are dating?
2007-05-03 05:53:31 · update #1
When you're starting to get serious, before you become intimate.
2007-05-02 16:20:09 · answer #1 · answered by Violet 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As Shelly said,
Tell them before sex, and when the relationship starts to flower into more than acquaintanceship. When you start to exchange more than the guarded dating pleasantries, when you both start to exchange more personal and private thoughts.
when you feel comfortable that if you tell them, and if they should reject you because of it, that they wont spread the news
Or another way , to help you judge when is the right time. If you had a different personal and private illness, at what point would you judge that your date should be informed
All the best to you
2007-05-03 00:04:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Before you have any sexual contact with them.
I have told EVERY single guy I have dated that I had genital herpes and I told them BEFORE I had any sexual contact with them.
It's not fair, or right, for a person to withhold that kind of information from another person. They have the right to know and even more so with an incurable STD like genital herpes.
2007-05-03 11:37:14 · answer #3 · answered by Alli 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well Im assuming you are speaking of HSV 1 and 2, and moreover, the genital version of either. There are 8 types of human herpes and possibly more yet to be discovered. Virtually EVERYONE born on planet earth will aquire 1 or more of these before death. (and some 90ish% will have HSV1 and/or 2 by 50) HSV 1 is generally worse in recurrence and/or severity, has the potential to affect more areas of the body than type 2, and has the tendency to have higher mortality rate (albeit rare in any case). Genital herpes 1 or 2, although highly stigmatized, arent that big a' deal in the bigger picture or life. Yes it may be a huge nuisance to some but generally mild in the majority of cases. Many people assume they are "clean" because they never show symptoms. Well, the majority of people do not have noticable symptoms to begin with. Since they do *NOT* routinely test for HSV when you go to the "clinic" to get checked for STDs, most will never know of infection unless they have an out break.
Some will tell you that you are morally obligated to inform a potential partner of your infection. I would disagree that anyone has any authority on anothers morality. Therefore, I can't answer whether if and when one should inform his/her partner of potential infection. You have to search your own soul about how to deal with this situation. The infected person is usually the one held accountable for being irresponsible or careless by potenitally infecting others. Id believe its just the opposite. If a person chooses to have sex, it comes with consequences he or she should be aware of (and ignorance of consequences wont prevent them either). Accountability should rest on anyone engaging in activities that puts them at risk. Any potential partner should automatically assume that they could be at risk for any number of infections from sex and take necessary precautions. The dilemma is- You are caught between being truthful and upfront without knowing your partners potential reaction or maintaining silence and hoping you dont have to face the guilt of infecting your partner. (assumming that your partner isnt already) Like I said, you have to do your own soul searching for the answer but I feel the social stigma and ostracization is usually worse than the disease itself in the vast majority of cases.
The morality paladins of this board will argue that you should tell your patners. If thats so, ANYBODY with ANY herpes ANYWHERE on you body should have to inform their partners. Thats in upwards of 90% of the ENTIRE WORLD POPULATION. Genital herpes is in NO WAY more dangerous than having oral herpes regardless of type. Infact, oral type 1 has the highest rate of severe complications (ocular herpes, herpes encephalitis) and NEITHER of these are considered a result of having an STD. The ONLY thing that makes genital herpes more of a health concern than oral herpes is its artificial emotional and social stigma attached to it.
2007-05-03 01:32:37 · answer #4 · answered by bob b 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think that u should tell them at the start of things so, that way if they decide that they don't wanna take things farther ur feeling aren't too deep.
2007-05-03 01:15:53 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell them on your first date, preferably before the main course. Over appetizers you should tell them.
2007-05-02 22:43:52 · answer #6 · answered by Queenie knows it all. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before the first kiss.
2007-05-02 22:46:31 · answer #7 · answered by Just Jane 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
before you have sex with them of course! Why would you want to give someone a disease that has destroyed your life? How do you think they are going to feel?
2007-05-03 11:23:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
As almost everyone has this virus and it is such a minor problem I would not make a big deal of it.
If it comes up in conversation just say "Oh yes, I have it too".
Herpes like Cold Sores is the norm not the exception.
No big deal.
2007-05-02 22:46:39 · answer #9 · answered by windandrainsoc 1 · 2⤊ 4⤋
before you and them have sex let them know the truth on this matter. in my opion?
2007-05-03 01:25:16 · answer #10 · answered by the_silverfoxx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋