Can someone confirm for me that this is messed up reasoning. Ok, so I've decided to turn over a new leaf in my life and be more social etc. (If you see my other q's, you'll see where I'm kinda at in life.)
But um, I'm kinda hesitant to meet up with people or go to events etc. because I feel like I'm not currently very charming or anything like that, plus I'm not in shape etc. So it's a bit of a catch-22 where I'm like, I can't learn to be social until I *am* social, and I'm hesitant to be so until I've lost weight. Which seems like a bit of a vicous circle to me. It's a bit illogical but um, yeah, just confirming that it is a stupid way to decide whether to go out or not.
2007-04-22 23:50:08 · 6 answers · asked by ratherlate 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
of you have a nice personality and act confident and friendly to people, they will like you for what's inside not out.
2007-04-22 23:54:59 · answer #1 · answered by countrygrl278 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not illogical thinking at all actually. You are in effect afraid that people will not accept you as you are and fear that rejection. Look - push through that fear and start getting out. If you wait until the timing is right (i.e. you are happier with your appearance), the timing will never be right. If people don't accept you as you are today - that is their problem. More often than not, a positive attitude has more effect on how a person is received than what they look like. All fear is is false evidence appearing real. You're going to stumble and that is ok. Just get back up again and keep pushing forward.
2007-04-22 23:58:52 · answer #2 · answered by scorp5543 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds a bit mean but when I'm having a fat day I just think of other people who are way bigger than me. When I was on holiday I didn't want to go in the pool until I saw a woman twice my size walking about in a bikini. Is there any fitness classes near you? That's a great way to meet friends and lose weight at the same time.
2007-04-22 23:57:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There must be millions of other people on this earth that are heavy, and still very social. Practice while you are losing your weight, if you feel that self-conscienious. Just get out there and figure that it is all practice and doesn't count, if you need an excuse to start socializing. Sitting at home will get you nowhere but home!! Good Luck!!
2007-04-22 23:58:49 · answer #4 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi there...i used to feel like you ...wouldnt put myself in public situations cos of constantly being told i was fat..so rather than get weight abuse i would avoid any social invitation.. its taken me a long long time to realise that it wasnt me with the problem but the abusers who had the issues.. i probably am overweight compared to " how we are supposed to look ( size 0 ) which is absolutely disgusting " but probably not in the real world. so now
i go out as often as i can as this has built up my confidence through meeting people and accepting who i am and not caring what other people think of me. if they want to be my friend then they will accept me for who iam and not what i look like so my answer to you is get yourself out because the more you hide away thinking you are overweight then the more it will become a problem...i hope my answer to you has helped you in some way..
2007-04-23 00:12:36 · answer #5 · answered by ANIMAL LOVER 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
GET OUT THERE. By the time you lose the weight, you will have missed out on learning how to become social, and these chances don't alwasy come and go.
2007-04-23 00:00:42 · answer #6 · answered by Mark 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋