My brother killed himself almost a year ago. No depression, no drugs, just shot himself at a gas station while his friend pumped gas. I still wake up with so much anger and actual hate towards him and its been ten months.
2007-04-22 21:05:56 · 7 answers · asked by terilynn628 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Just to let you know I'm not considering or even thinking of suicide, just trying to live with the guilt and anger. Trying to find peace within myself.
2007-04-23 18:35:35 · update #1
I'm so deeply sorry for your loss. I understand the devistation this no doubt has brought into your life. Few things in life are this painful. When people commit suicide, it takes a different psycological/emotional toll on their loved ones and friends. If your brother had gotten cancer and you all had a year to adjust to it, yes, it still would be painful but in time you could accept it. Yet, with suicide, so many questions remain. Unfinished business also remains. Some of these thoughts are: "Why didn't I notice how much he was hurting?" "What could I have done to prevent this?" "Why didn't he tell me what was going on?" These are questions that will never be answered and so they cause anger and/or guilt. It's normal to hate the one who has committed suicide. You hate him for not sharing his pain with you so you could help him. You hate him for leaving this empty void in your life. You hate him because your love wasn't enough to make him want to live." The questions never end. But know that it's not your brother whom you hate. What you really hate is the act of suicide.
And you are entitled to these feelings. You mention it's been ten months. It's still early in the grieving process, especially for suicide. It could take several years for you to come to terms with this. I really highly suggest you see a therapist to help you. You need closure, healing, assurance and peace. The process to get there will be easier and better understood with a therapist's help. I will be praying for you. Please take care and be kind to yourself. God bless.
2007-04-22 21:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Gayle 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have been there. My brother was 18, took his father's gun in his back pack, was walkinga friend told him ''Hang on a minute I have to take a wizz'' went behind the bushes and blew his brains out. Noone knows why and yes there is much anger and wondering and hate because of all the pain he has caused doing that sensless act.
It has been many years, you never forget but may I suggest you get some councelling or maybe join a group that deals with this sort of things so you can feel grief rather than hate.
Sorry for your loss. We never know what went on in their minds, there could have been depression that was very well hidden.
2007-04-22 21:12:36 · answer #2 · answered by nikogal2006 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call a hotline in your area and find a grief support group. They exist for people like you. You will never know why he did it. Perhaps some of the following will be helpful to you.
Depression and Suicide Reference Library
... Their Child, Grandchild, Sibling or Friend's Suicide ... How Teens Deal With Death. How We Can Stop Teenage Suicides. Help At Last For Suicidal Young Men ...childsuicide.homestead.com/articles.html - 39k - Cached - More from this site
Supporting Young People Following a Suicide
... with young people who survive the death of a friend, sibling or schoolmate. ... Suicide is not a common or acceptable way for healthy people to deal with stress, ...www.extension.umn.edu/distribution/youthdevelopment/DA3081.html - 21k - Cached - More from this site
Is Suicide The Answer?
... People commit suicide when their pain exceeds their ability to deal with that pain. ... Healing for Survivors of Suicide. Loss of a Sibling To Suicide ...christianpain.faithweb.com/suicide.html - 17k - Cached - More from this site
SUICIDE (PDF)
... children try to deal with the suicide of their sibling, you may experience ... bereaved parents (including foster and step-parents), grandparents and siblings ...www.bereavedparentsusa.org/images/pdfs/bpusasuicide.pdf - 171k - View as html - More from this site
A Suicide of a Sibling
You would think that's not such a big deal in the age of AIDS. ... When people asked me how many siblings I had, I would say "two-my surviving ...www.compassionatefriends.org/suicide_of_sibling.htm - 7k - Cached - More from this site
Suicide
Parent, sibling or loved committed suicide. ... should be able to manage and deal with any increase or reoccurrence of suicidal ...www.oregoncounseling.org/Handouts/SuicideRisk.htm - 8k - Cached - More from this site
Child Suicide - The Elephant
... of Their Child, Grandchild, Sibling or Friend's Suicide. Contact me. Back to Top ... It's not their problem and they don't know how to deal with it either. ...childsuicide.homestead.com/theelephant.html - 23k - Cached - More from this site
"Suicide..."
... that they did something to make their parent or sibling want to die. ... of your family, you'll find a great deal of care and understanding from those in ...www.theeasierway.com/resourceDocs/suicide.htm - 6k - Cached - More from this site
Prayers.
2007-04-23 14:13:21 · answer #3 · answered by Marcia K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to someone about this. Maybe a support group. Write a letter to your brother and get all of your harsh feelings out on paper and then burn it. Talk to a priest or minister. They are trained to help with these types of things. I knew a lady that killed herself and her 10 year-old daughter found her and she had to go into therapy for a long time. It's not an easy thing for a family to go through. Maybe your whole family would benefit from talking to someone. Maybe also go to the cemetery and talk to your brother and get your feelings out.
2007-04-22 21:11:06 · answer #4 · answered by Ryan's mom 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The tattoo you elect is the phoenix. It symbolizes triumph over extreme hardships. placed it on the arm and it will the two cover the scars and make a awesome tattoo. The phoenix additionally symbolizes rebirth which you would be doing with this tattoo, arising a clean you and burying the previous.
2016-10-13 06:17:01 · answer #5 · answered by raspberry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes my father jumped but i spoke to people and wasnt afraid to cry but i never thought of doin the same thing he did thats how i made it please dont commit suicide think about the ones you love and how it will affects them dont just think about your self
2007-04-22 21:52:48 · answer #6 · answered by ben_twigy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YOU must seek professional help to overcome this situation...
2007-04-22 21:14:10 · answer #7 · answered by JOHANN L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋