I"m feeling aweful for feeling this way, but is there any way out of this hole?

Question

I have never really questioned God. You knoow whether he exsists or not. But within this last week it has been tough. Found out last monday that i did have a miscarriage, when i did everything that i could to make sure it didn't happen, and then on thursday my daughter broke her arm at school and had to have it reset and was in the worst pain and there was nothing i could about it. He takes my child one day and my other one gets hurt another. I have been nothing but faithful to him for 27 yrs, and I just feel like he isn't really there. I know that some of you may com down on me for feeling this way, but please don't, I'm basically asking for guidence on how to find him again. I'm lost with that right now because i've never felt this way before. Please if any of you have any idea's on how to help me it would be wonderful to find my way back to God.

I don't want anyone to think that I am feeling sorry for myself and that i can't handle what life throws at me. I don't know why now, after all that have been thrown at me over the years, i feel like this. But all i know is so far all of you who have answered me, thank you. Thank you so much for showing me that he is there. I know that somehow is will find my way again. I just feel aweful for feeling this way. And thanks to all who aren't trying to make me feel worse for it. You all are really angels.

Answer 1

You´ve gotten so many good answers (and a few dumb ones) but I wanted to add that I am also praying for you.

I have seen in my life that God has always guided me, even during my most challenging times and even when I didn´t believe in Him. Everything happens for a reason, and sometimes it takes time to see it. Sometimes we won´t ever know WHY, but we have to know there is some kind of reason, that only God knows.
This whole experience may help you to grow further. Right now you are feeling the pain, and you don´t understand WHY. That is OK. Don´t get STUCK in this phase.
You´ll see that your daughter´s arm will heal. Maybe there will be some kind of good in this, which you can´t imagine right now. I know, it´s hard to see your child in pain, but the pain will pass. Maybe it will help her to also grow inside, in some way. Or maybe it will allow some amazing "coincidence" to take place which will help you her (or all of you) later.
Your baby is blissfully happy and is in heaven. You only had her for a short time, but God chose you to have her and to give her what she needed. You did all that you could, nothing is YOUR fault. God is taking the BEST care of her now. You will grieve, and that is normal, but remember that she is just fine now.
I hope that this has helped a bit. Please don´t lose your faith. I lost my sister, and had to deal with major issues when I was a teenager, then I stopped believing for a few years. But God kept guiding me until I eventually came back. Your heart will be sad for a time, but God is still in there. You are getting to know Him in a different way. This is sometimes painful, but necessary for us to move on.

(Oh one more thought - a counseller once said that maybe those things happened to me so that I would be able to help others in a difficult situation, later on. At the time I thought this was arrogant and some kind of poor excuse, but those words always stuck with me. Years later, I see that there really was truth in what he said. I realize that people who have experienced similar problems as I had gravitate to me, and I can help them reach the next "stage", even a little. So, please be patient. I wish you all the best!)

Answer 2

I'm not convinced that the existence of suffering is an absolutely open -and-shut case against the existence of God: maybe God takes a very hands-off approach. Or maybe it all just gets redressed in some afterlife (though I can't help feeling that this kind of marks system according to which human beings are punished or rewarded after death is far too unsophisticated to be plausible).

Still, one really has to wonder about a being that can apparently do anything, and yet creates such a universe as ours. Our world feels like a world created by an imperfect God, like those of the pagans or, more likely, by no God at all.

And even if you believe that this is all the work of a perfect God: what's the point of prayer? We know he doesn't answer every prayer as the person would like. Fair enough: I'm sure an all-knowing God would have a better idea of what's good for us. But if so, and God already knows how things must be or, alternatively, just doesn't get involved, or, possibly, just gets involved at random, then prayer is pointless. Unless of course it just does you some psychological good to form a prayer -- in which case, there's no need for a God in the equation anyway.

But here's the point: do you really need to find your way back to God? Why is it better to believe in him than not? I see absolutely no evidence that atheists are less well equipped to cope with what life throws at them.

Wanting God to exist is not a good reason to believe in him. Let go and walk into a brave new world.

Answer 3

I am so sorry for your heartaches! First of all I would like to share a Scripture with you. Maybe you can see that it is not God that does these things:

Ecclesaistes 9: 11 & 12: "I returned to see under the sun that the swift do not have the race, nor the mighty ones the battle, nor do the wise also have the food, nor do the understanding ones also have the riches, nor do even those having knowledge have the favor; because time and unforeseen occurrence befall them all. 12 For man also does not know his time. Just like fishes that are being taken in an evil net, and like birds that are being taken in a trap, so the sons of men themselves are being ensnared at a calamitous time, when it falls upon them suddenly."

Also this one may help:

James 1:13: "When under trial, let no one say: “I am being tried by God.” For with evil things God cannot be tried nor does he himself try anyone."

I have noticed that a lot of people have a tendancy to blame God when bad things happen, or when someone dies, but it isn't God. These things just happen.

The following link gives some good counsel about miscarriage and still birth. It may give you the comfort and encouragement you are needing. I hope you will read it.

http://www.watchtower.org/library/we/diagram_01.htm

Also this article about God really caring for us may help as well.

http://www.watchtower.org/library/dg/article_01.htm

Answer 4

This a test, this is only a test. I'm a mom and if my 50s now, and had my trying times and know there will be more challenging ones to come. He could have spaced out these events, made it easier to handle, but you've become stronger, your growing up. These are the trying times that make us tough, make us strong. Some have said that purfying gold is a long process of heating, removing the impurities that come to the surface and cooling, and repeating and repeating until the goldsmith can see his perfect reflection. They say we are the gold that God is working on and one day, he'll see His face in us.

He is there with you now, you can trust in that. You can also ask him "WHY?!?" He is big enough to handle it. Sometimes our ears are filled with our cries of anguish that we hold inside and we can't hear His voice, our eyes too filled with tears that we can no longer see His face, and our heart so torn with pain that we can't feel His hands mending it. He feels your pain more deeply than you can imagine. He felt your daughter's every cell and every nerve of damage and pain, and every emotion of her heart as if it were His own.

Don't feel aweful for feeling that way. If we don't ask Him the hard questions, how will we have answers that are rock solid? When other's ask us the same questions, the answers won't be just words that we read somewhere, they are life experiences that they can relate to.

What to do: First, put on the full Armor of God, Ephesians 6:10-18 to protect your self from they enemy that wants to seperate you from God. Next, Communicate with God, let Him know how you feel, and listen for His answer. Ask for His presence to be felt in your life again "and right now would be reeeeally helpful" (He likes it when you make Him laugh).

Answer 5

Accidents happen, everyone gets hurt and it stinks, as for the miscarriage, I am sorry to hear that, I hope the next time around is better for you, sometimes your body just doesn't feel right and maybe in the long run it just rejected a possible fault, and got rid of it for you to spare you the pain, for instance it could have possibly had defects, or would have had an ill fated life therefore ending it before more damage was done. I hope you have a healthy and happy family in these times and the future, I won't go to the God subject, but I do hope the best for you.

Answer 6

Firstly, let me say I sympathise with your loss and your child's injury, neither of these things are pleasant to deal with, and both together must be really trying for you. A quick prayer never goes amiss - and that's what this is really about - your need for comfort in a time of distress. I know that everyone in this thread will agree with me.

As far as the god angle goes, with freewill comes great responsibility, and we do not always realise that god is not entirely in control of all that occurs on our tiny planet. The only perfect world is one without freewill, and whilst we make our way back to perfection through our own choices, there will always be mishaps along the way.

This is part of life, and the why is something that men wiser than I have been trying to answer since the bible was written. What I do know is that your god has not deserted you, and if you consider the love you have for him, and remember how it once filled you, seeing what you saw, feeling what you felt and hearing what you heard, it will come back to you again, and when you love god, god loves you in return.

Answer 7

Just pray, repent and believe. God has never left you. Things could be much much worse. What if He never blessed you with the child whose arm was broken? What if He 'took' her instead of her arm being broken? I am sorry to hear about you loosing your baby. I have not had that happen to me but my heart goes out to you. When I am down, I read the Word of God. Life cannot be without some ups and downs. How would we learn to appreciate life if all we had was joy. We could not appreciate the sun if it did not rain in our lives sometimes. I know it is hard to believe but everything happens for a reason. You may not be able to see it now,and it may even be hard to believe, but it is true. God does not make mistakes. And also for every 'down time' we have in our lives, it we are faithful and remain faithful, God will bless us with more. May God Bless U.

Answer 8

It's easy to call ourselves faithful followers of God when things are running smoothly in our lives. But the moment bad things happen we show ourselves and God where our faith and trust really lie. In the past two years, I broke the wrist of my right hand and I'm an artist, and had to give up my job as a muralist. While going through physical therapy, my mother died, I lost my home and went through all this other stuff with my grown kids. God didn't bring it on me, but He's been there to carry me through it all. His perfect love casts out all fear and it never fails. We don't rely on the feelings of God's presence, but the Word of God. The best way to get that blessed assurance back is through praise and thanksgiving, while you are yet in the midst of the trials. These times in life build the character of God in you, and we should be glad that He doesn't allow us to become complacent in our relationship with Him. Just praise Him, and realize that all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.

Answer 9

I also had a miscarriage. I lost twins, so I know how you must feel. People don't think it should hurt as much as losing a child you have held in your arms. But that's not true. But be assured that GOD did not take this child from you. Please try not to be angry with him. He can be your best friend and a comfort to you in this saddest of times. Jesus refered to the Holy Ghost as the comforter.
The Bible tells us that all things work together for good to those who love the lord. So some how some time something good will come from this.
Just trust in the lord and he will give you strength.
The Bible also says in all things give thanks. We are be be thankful for even the things that seem to us, bad. There might have been something wrong with your child that would have caused it to suffer all of it's life.
So just try to praise GOD in spite of the bad things. For GOD inhabits the praises of his people. So if you can just find the strenght to praise him he will incamp around about you and give you peace.

Please know that I will be praying for you.

Answer 10

Maybe God is trying to have a deeper relationship with you. If anyone serves God, thinking life's hardships and tragedies will not touch them, they are misguided. If that were the case, everyone would serve God. God comforts us in our hardships and tragedies, He never promised we wouldn't have any. Bad things happen to everyone, Christian and serving God or not. But Christians know that God is there for them during the hard times. I, too, lost an unborn child years ago. I hear a song often on AOL radio, Southern Gospel, that sings about this situation and says, "Remember,Jesus has a rocking chair". I hope that you will not abandon God now because you really need Him to help you thru this and He will!
Praying for you.