is it normal to be fed up with grown children?

Question

even though i still love them very much--grownups reply only please

Answer 1

Oh, I can definitely state that this is so -- from the perspective of someone who was a Long Term Single Parent, and now .. is an Empty-Nesting Single Retiree.

The Teen years were very rough on me .. and yes, they were doing everything that I would NEVER think of doing -- behaving badly, having so-called 'friends (who really were addicts -- drugs, alcohol, tobacco, etc -- and drug pushers too), they would damage the house/property (if they could not get their 'way'), used foul language, wouldn't help around the house, stole from me, etc etc etc.

THE ONLY Time they treated me half-way decently was when they WANTED MONEY or property or SOME thing .. but ... it was NOT Because they CARED for me -- they felt 'entitled' to get what they wanted that minute.

Doing everything correctly -- I SHOWED them throughout their lives that they COULD and SHOULD live morally correct -- and within the law. They disrespected my Military Service (and I'm Retired Military), they disrespected my hard work, and everything else.

So now as young (and still very selfish adults), they STILL only contact me when they feel that they "NEED" something (or .. they feel 'entitled' to make demands). Otherwise ... forget it -- to them, I am a non-entity, one to be treated with disrespect and disdain.

Do I love them? Oh, yes, I definitely loved and cared for them .. so much so that when they were toddlers I walked away (with them) from that short disaster of a marriage and left everything I EARNED behind ... (and yes, it was MY INCOME that supported the family). I cared so much that I pressed and DEMANDED charges be filed (and yes, get the ex prosecuted/convicted) for Child Abuse that the ex did on a forced visitation, and for the Identity Theft, theft of my property, and property damage that the ex did.

UNFORTUNATELY -- last August 2006 -- the EX did once again Burglarize MY HOME -- and willingly with the HELP of one of the adult children (whose behaviors I wrote about in the top paragraphs). I DID file the police report, demanded charges be brought, and am awaiting the wheels of justice to slowly work around to the hearings.

I am FED UP .. with the demands, the disrespect, and the disdain (much less the abuse). I CLOSED the pocketbook a few years ago -- and that was for sure. THAT is why I was abused (by the ex and now the child). Being Fed Up does NOT mean you don't care -- just that you LOVE the now adult child so much that you WILL NOT enable them to continue with these horrors of behaviors in the future -- and WANT Them to experience the CONSEQUENCES of their questionable or bad behaviors in order for them to transition (eventually) into Responsible Adulthood.

I'll most likely hear from them when they have their own children -- and by then .. it will sink in how horribly they treated me as teens/young adults.

For now .. this Empty-Nesting Single Retiree is Enjoying HER HOME that HER Hard Work Earned for her, and yes, enjoying MY PENSION too! I can relax .. no toxicity around me, and it feels so GOOD to be able to SIT DOWN and not have to deal with the 'drama' of teens/young adult children in my life. I have begun to CARE for the ONE FORGOTTEN over all these years -- ME, their Single Parent.

Answer 2

My mother has my brother who is in his twenties still living at home with him, my sister also in her 20's was living in a house she owned for awhile too. Mom has been going nuts trying to get those two to not only stop being at each others throat but also to move out and grow up. I would say that it is normal to be fed up with grown kids. I moved out at 18 and have never asked for money or anything although I am sure that I still get on the nerves at times too. Kids of any age have the abilities to press the parents buttons, they started this upon birth and I don't think it ever really goes away. My daughter is only two but I am close with my own mother and hear all about what the other two are doing that is driving her nuts.

Answer 3

Hmmmmm.. yep.. I am only 23, but my parents are going through this right now... I have been married for 4 years, own our home as well as 2 new vehicles, I am a stay at home mom with a 2 year old.. currently 33 weeks pregnant, my hubby runs equipment and works 70 hrs a week, and my poor mom and step dad have been dealing with my brother for the past couple years... He lives with a roommate.. he's 21 years old.... mooches off everyone, including his roommate who is still currently paying for all the bills and groceries... for everything from ciggs to rides... (and they as well as myself are expected to be his personal free taxi service at his beck and call) and the favorite thing he does, is bring his laundry to my house or my parents house and drops it off expecting it to be done for him.. and the ONLY time he calls is when he wants laundry done, a ride somewhere, money, or something bought for him... no other reasons... not to mention he does other things that are too illegal to mention... :( and my parents as well as myself and hubby have stepped and now tell him no everytime.... there is nothing wrong with him other thatn chronic laziness, but when he gets told no, he plays the guilt trip about how he has nothing and no one to help him, or he'll call me and say mom and dad are being a B and a D head, so I know you'll help me out... and then he'll do it to them too behind my back... AND he'll also get to where if we tell him no, he'll call us every name in the book, and then call again in a few hours to ask for something else...


ARGGHHHHH!!!!!!! Is it possible for grown siblings to be fed up with another one?????

Answer 4

Oh my god, YES. Especially if they are still asking you for money or material items. Or if they have children of their own, and want YOU to take care of them. I am almost 45 and I know just what you are going through. (Well, I can imagine!) Cut those apronstrings now!

Answer 5

Yes it is.Sometimes i feel like i need to be alone for couple of days.Because i get tired with my kids.Back to you.Just change thins around.Find out what bothers you the most.Sit them down and talk to them,tell the how you feel , and tell them the way things are won't work for you.

Answer 6

grown children is an oxymoron. That usually is the problem though, grown people acting like children.

Answer 7

Yep

Answer 8

I think it is very normal. Why wouldn't you?

Answer 9

DEAR MISS
YES IT SURE IS OK
TAKE CARE

Answer 10

yes................................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!