The question is "What would you do if you found out your boyfriend posted a personal ad?
I found it by viewing the history on his computer. What should I do?"
I am getting a lot of good answers, but basically everyone is saying the same 5 or 6 different things. Why do I then, still keep posting it? Am I obsessing? Am I looking for sympathy? Validation? The right answer All of the above? My heart is breaking and I can't tell him cuz he's out of town and I don't want to spoil his vacation with this!HELP
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070422210545AAFmpgQ&r=w
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AtYGycife5tXIZ7Kbc1qM8bsy6IX?qid=20070421083809AAeK2Fi
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Aj0gQGkFwQYRNQIwWIICABfsy6IX?qid=20070417184729AAF71H0
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Av8ULgnt0A0UJ7UqOZ7PWsLty6IX?qid=20070417133636AAMOdsm
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Au0UtlSsAz5hAhJaqjIOKerty6IX?qid=20070417131745AAoXV6F
2007-04-22 18:08:21 · 16 answers · asked by Sereny 3 in Health ➔ Mental Health
you dont want to spoil his vacation? um hello, OBVIOUSLY HES NOT INTERESTED IN YOU if hes posting a personal ad. coulples who share love dont do that.
castrate him.
2007-04-22 18:12:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you are going to be terribly hurt. You have a right to be upset.
So he's out of town. But why does he Deserve to NOT have his vacation spoiled?
What he has done is horrible, and disrespectful of you if you two are supposed to be in a committed relationship.
Although you probably should not have been looking at the history of his computer, it probably shows that you have had suspicion. I would confront him when he comes home.
Only you can decided if your want to stay in the relationship but I think there is some serious repair needed here and the two of you should consider counseling.
2007-04-22 18:16:23 · answer #2 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are looking for sympathy, yes you are obsessing.Most of all you seem to be co-dependent. I am sorry that your heart is breaking. Sometimes, even if you feel that you cannot go on without this person,it seems as if you have really been doing just that, but you will not allow yourself to believe that very fact. No, you should not have looked into his private history, but is he didnot want you to find out he would not have given you the information to go into it. Perhaps, he did it on purpose , taking the easier way out.Why are you worried about spoiling his vacation, no way! I think maybe you donot want to hear the truth. Not trying to make things worse, who is he vacationing with. If donot think that you can speak to him over the phone then you may not be able to speak to him face to face. Maybe it would help you to sit down and write out how you feel about the personal ad, also question him about his feelings, and if he wants a relationship with you, then you can write how you feel now and how it made you hurt by his actions. It seems that not only should he be truthful with you, you need to be truthful with him, about reading his history and feeling that he doenot seem to want a one-person committment. With all the times you say you have posted your question to the readers, do you think that you should be asking your boyfriend. There really isnot anything wrong with you, but you could really be headed for a breakdown. Talk with him or give him the letter and then finish with an honest conversation with him. Find someone that you would be comfortable with to help you through this and get on with your life. It hurts so much now, but you will get through this hurdle. So, I think you have heard about all the answers that you could possibly get from the readers. With kindest regards, one of the readers that care.
2007-04-22 19:07:00 · answer #3 · answered by Jean 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are behaving obsessively, but with good reason. You obviously have strong feelings for him--you're questioning his fidelity but you don't want to spoil his vacation? You're being more than generous. You need to talk about this, you want people's responses, you've either exhausted the people you can talk to in person or don't have anyone to trust with this problem, so you turn to this online community of yahoos. And here you are, reading yet another answer.
2007-04-22 18:53:18 · answer #4 · answered by z 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If yoy found out that he did that, then confront him on it. Ask him if he is interested in seeing other women besides you? Meanwhile, I would not be having unprotected sex with him nor would I give him my undivided attention. If he is a honest person and he truly cared about you and your feelings, then he would be spending that time searching for more of who you are (spiritual sense). Otherwise, you will become very insecure and have a hard time letting go of what you've discovered. Last, if he tells you that he was just looking or it dont mean anything and that you are tripping, then LET HIM GO!!!!!!!!
2007-04-24 16:34:08 · answer #5 · answered by nika 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are looking for someone to tell you it will ok and that it is all a mistake. Well until you call him and ask him about it it will not be ok. Call and tell him what you found and never mind ruining his vacation as it was already ruined when he placed the ad. Time to tell him that there is not room in your life for a two timer and remind him not to let the door hit him in the as* on his way out once he gets home.
2007-04-22 18:16:56 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are probably not doing anything wrong at all, since I’m not sure if you are telling enough specifics about the interviews I can’t really say. However, I suggest you keep looking for a job, don’t give up! You can’t afford to give up looking for a job, things seem pretty hopeless for many Americans, but they are sending their resumes out and are getting turned down. There are even people who are right for the job that are competing for the same job…only to get turned down!
2016-04-01 03:03:42 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Jesus! You got that many answers on just the first time you asked, and you have five more to go, and you're still asking this???? Didn't get the idea from all that?
My answer is, see a psychiatrist about obsessive tendencies. If you do that at home it's a wonder he didn't place ads in every personals list he could find. I would have.
2007-04-22 18:18:38 · answer #8 · answered by Secrets of the Night 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ok....I would wait until he got home. AND calmly confront him. DO NOT FLIP OUT ON HIM. If you want to salvage anything from the relationship, you will come out looking like the good one:)) And you have to expect him to get angry and defensive or he wil be ashamed and embarrased. Whichever he does, do not get crazy on him. You will know what you want to do when you hear him out.
Best Wishes
2007-04-22 18:25:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know many males that have more than 1 girlfriend. Im guessing he just cant tell you because he loves you so much. he is prob all you got so cut yourself off of him and find another. You cant be with someone your thinking is cheating or at least looking with others.
2007-04-22 18:18:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
why dont you answer his ad in the paper! and meet up with him!!! hahahha see what he does then== why do you care so much about ruining his vaction-- if u love him then hes ruining your life! pls dont waste your time -- i'd freak out! I think id get soo mad i would throw the computer at him and break it
2007-04-22 18:46:07 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋