How do you let go of resentments that you have towards EVIL people?

Question

I have some EX in-laws that are violent & evil. (abusive to children, drug addicts, etc.) I despise them and I know that they have no sense of morality or righteousness in their hearts. It is very hard to pray for them!

Answer 1

The reason that they live this way is because they do not have God in their lives. It is by the grace of God that we, ourselves, are not that way. In other words, because we allowed Jesus in our lives, God gives us Godly desires to live a life that is Godly. We would be the same as your ex in-laws and maybe even worse if it weren't for God. It is only by God's Holy Spirit that we can see the truth, love righteousness, and hate evil. These people do evil because they are demonically possessed or influenced. We do not wrestle with flesh and blood. We should praise God that we are not like this and may someday, they too, may come to the light and repent of their behavior and receive Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

Answer 2

This is why the road of righteousness is a hard one. When we pray for our enemies, or those that create chaos,it can be very difficult to let go of the hurts. But just like Jesus, we can say to God, Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do. If you're too weak to forgive them then ask God to give you the willingness of heart to forgive them. None of us deserve to be forgiven, but God forgives us anyway through Jesus Christ. Also, just because you forgive someone, doesn't mean you are condoning their sin or evil-doing. For example, if you forgave a molestor for molesting your child, you wouldn't leave the child in a room with him alone would you? The act of forgiveness won't change the person who is being forgiven. It will however, build the character of the one who is the forgiver, and free that person from the bonds of unforgiveness, which can lead to bitterness, resentment and hate which is away from God. If you're already resentful and despise them, then you already are bound up with unforgiveness. How can God forgive you for any sin if you can't forgive another? If you rely on His grace and mercy, then you need to rely on it also to forgive others. Whenever I have a struggle to forgive, I ask the Lord to change my heart and see them with the eyes of His love.

Answer 3

It may be difficult to pray for them, but it sure sounds like they need the prayer!

Keep in mind that if they are doing something illegal, that fact must be reported to the authorities. Even the Bible supports that. It says we are to be subject to the authorities of the land in which we live, as all authority on Earth was given by God.

As for the prayers, perhaps you could pray that they see the error of their ways. God's word does have the ability to transform lives. Even evil ones. Perhaps you could pray that God's word comes to them, and has the opportunity to work in them.

If you attend a church that accepts prayer requests, put them on the request list. That way, you get the multiplied effect of a whole congregation praying on their behalf. Praying that they realize what that are doing is wrong, and that they look for the more Godly road.

You have a wonderful opportunity to show how God is working in your own life by praying for the "rejects" of the world.

Answer 4

Abusive to drug addicts? Hm. If they are abusive to children, they need to be reported. I don't know exactly what you are saying.

However, we were just having a sermon today about forgiveness and how important it is. Remember the bible says if you do not forgive, neither will the Father in heaven forgive you.

We have to ask God for the ability to forgive truly evil people. This doesn't mean we have to condone, or put up with, abuse.

Answer 5

Remember that Jesus taught that if you cannot forgive others who have done you wrong Jesus cannot forgive you.

We are all sinners, and not one person on earth better than another. While abuse of children is terrible, and drug use is an open door to demonic activity, they are bad choices made
by those you know.

Pray for them and pray for yourself that God will give you the necessary grace to love and forgive everyone no matter who they are or what they do. He is willing to grant that request!
You cannot do it in your own strength.

Answer 6

It is so hard to see such things and not react as most would, but as a christian you should Pray, Pray, pray, and report to a trusted person any abuse or illegal things.

We are to be a different type of People and it is hard, just pray and remember to ask for forgiveness for what is reasonable resentment by a good person and things will get better.

Answer 7

This can be done in two ways. First, exercise humility. The most loving people I know are nonjudgmental because they themselves know they have their own faults to bear. Second, be absolutely confident that God is in the driver's seat and that vengence/correction/judgment is for God to administer in God's own way and time table. Myrle Evers-Williams, in the movie "Ghosts of Mississippi" waited 30 long years for justice. I have seen God come to rescue but it has to be after all patience and options and opportunity have reached their limit it seems. Remember too, the only thing for evil to flourish is for good people to do nothing - report them.

Answer 8

A crucial point about forgiveness that isn't preached about is: IT IS FOR you !!!! Not the others'!.....

What happens with we human beings and 'the tyranny of magical thinking'...I.e. if I don't forgive so and so..then, s/he will suffer...is a BIG LIE. They don't suffer, they are mostly oblivious...and in such denial that that if there was a video tape of their actions..they would still deny it.

So, for me..the first step was to realize that my feelings of yuck about so and so...kept me 'somehow' tied to him/ her and I did not want that...

It took some doing, but to come to the place where..."vengeance is mine, saith the Lord, I will repay"...is a promise and I have nothing to do with the meting out of the punishment or the person..the battle and the punishment is God's ..and He knows just exactly what will hurt, and how it is to be executed and for how long...

Third, I have prayed for an enemy with this caveat..."I am asking for the grace to forgive; but, I don't really want it"...At first, I would laugh a little about this; but, know what, it works...
And by the way..my prayers are not for peace, prosperity and salvation or anything of that ilk for my (former) enemies..my prayers are: "thy will be done"...'so and so, did me wrong...(and here I mean egregious wrong...not picayune stuff) and I ask you God...to vindicate me and glorify Your name. And, of course, there are deeper and deeper levels...but, I hope that allows you to "get some distance" from them. And get peace in your heart.

Answer 9

Of course it is hard and you show no reason to forgive them. Without forgiving them you will not be able to grow, because the root of rage, anger and resentment will always be there as a wedge between the two of you.

If it is too big of a job, don't forgive them. Ask God to do it for you, afterall that is more His job then yours. Pray everyday of God to forgive them, then ask for forgiveness yourself for having these feeling. Pray for justice in God's will not your will.
If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely.
2 Corinthians 2:4-6
Hebrews 9:22
In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.
(referring to the blood of Christ)

Ephesians 1:7
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace

Answer 10

Look at it as you were as they are before you accepted Christ. All sins are the same in Gods eyes. He loves them as he loves you. Build up a hatred of the actions but try to love the individuals as they are obviously lost. Finally turn the resentment over to God again and again and again and ask his forgiveness(basically humble yourself). Ask God to show you what you can do for them.