How can I stop being so desperate for affection?

Question

I am not affectionate with anyone in my family and they hardly show me affection. So when I get a boyfriend I show him all the affection I can and I want him to be very affectionate with me and I just can't get enough of it. I crave it. I will pretty much date anyone who shows any interest in me even if I know they aren't right for me just because I want affection. Is this really bad? Can I stop going after any guy that pays the slightest bit of attention to me? Please help.

I do have a dog and I always show it lots of affection but it isn't the same as kissing a guy or hugging or anything else. All you can do is pet it and kiss it on the head.

Answer 1

I think being aware of yourself enough to ask this question shows maturity. You're aware that you want affection - from family, from boyfriends - and know that sometimes you look for it in the wrong places. I think it's important, as you said, to stop going after any random guy who shows you affection and look for the one serious, meaningful relationship in which you'll find it. Of course, everyone likes to be shown affection. (Even if guys don't admit it, I bet they do too. I know I do.) It's not wrong to want affection. Just be careful of the kind of relationships you get yourself into in your search for it. As I said, it shows maturity and good sense of self-awareness that you have enough insight about your thought processes, feelings, and behavior to ask such a question.

Answer 2

Do you have a pet? If not, consider getting one that you can personally take care of. If you take care of it, it'll probably bond with you. Not a fish, it can't really show affection :), something bigger, perhaps a bird or a cat/dog. The attention and affection you get from it should help. Also, try getting some counseling.

Answer 3

You seem to have alot of energy for attention. I would say get a sex buddy but that could end badly due to your clingyness. Perhaps a male friend who only wants to be a friend.

Some sort of outlet for your affectionness would be a good idea as some guys find clingie desparate for affectionness girls a total turn off (we need a break from time to time)

Answer 4

First... get some therapy. And I mean that in a good way. This can turn into some bad issues later on and should be dealt with now. Also, show affection to others... get a pet, start showing some to your family, friends... don't let it build inside of you.

Answer 5

Zardoz is right...a neediness will not result in a positive relationship.

Try reading Dr. Phil's book "Love Smart". It's very helpful.

Answer 6

Girl, I've been in the same boat since I got dumped. Except I want girls not guys. It's not bad, it makes it so you get to know more guys and are more likely to meet a good one.

Answer 7

if u dont take yourself seriously, no one else will

Answer 8

Neediness kills.