Is it just me or is this extremely rude when on a night out???

Question

I'm curious to know the general consensus on what I recently experienced. On Friday night I went to a friend's suprise birthday being held in an upmarket restaurant. I was driving and not planning on a big evening so only had one drink all evening. There were about 5 other big drinkers in the party who ordered about 3 bottles of wine and top shelf spirits the entire evening. When the bill came myself and a few other members of the party put in what we had and a bit extra. The 5 others, who drank the most, just randomly put in $20, $30 and one put in $50 to cover the shortage however this still left the bill $58 short. At no point did they sit down and count exactly what they had and divide the bill. Then they sent the bill down to our end of the table to cover the rest when we'd already put in?? I was totally shocked and pi**ed off that they expected us to chip in. Especially when our end of the table didn't see a drop of their drinks.

Sorry...should have mentioned. I didn't end up paying and completely lost it at one member of the party. It totally ruined my night and I felt like a bit of a pyscho for going off in the end and should have just left it.

Answer 1

Rude. In future events, I suggest leaving as soon as you contribute your amount. Or when handing off to the big spender who isn't willing to contribute his share, "I put my share in, you're up" or something like that. It should've been up to the drinkers to pay for their own selves. It's one thing if the friend's dinner was to be split amongst everyone but that's just ridiculous otherwise.

Answer 2

Definitely those who simply put in $20 and $30 to cover when they'd done a lot of the drinking were rude. I would absolve the one who put in $50, it sounds like they put in their part and a little more, just as the rest of you did, after all, if the others who chipped in just $20 or $30 had chipped in $50 instead, then it would have more than covered the excess left on the bill. So absolve the one who contributed $50, and include the rest in the list of those who were rude. If you party with these people in the future, go to a place where you can ask for seperate tabs, or make solid arrangements in advance on who will pay.

Answer 3

Yeah, that would piss me off too. I can understand why you'd be upset. Its unfortunate that the evening ended on a sour note. It probably would've been better to just leave. It seems to me that the bill for what your friend ate and drank should've been divided amongst the entire party, and that everyone else should've paid for their own meal and drink(s). I see no reason why you should've been expected to chip in for more than your meal and drink--- and the portion of the surprise party girl or guy's meal and drinks, divided amongst however many attended. I would've left my share, then left. The people who ordered the bottles of wine and top shelf liquors should've paid for them.

Answer 4

Yes, that's rude. I guess the lesson is to not go out with those people again.

Sometimes I enjoy going to that sort of thing, and sharing the bill, not worrying about calculating. It's never so unbalanced like that though.

Yeah, I don't think they'd be up to counting after drinking that much. On the positive side, you can take advantage of that and get them to pay for the whole thing.

Answer 5

This is rude and inexcusable, but maybe drinking could be the reason for bad judgement. Sometimes others will deliberatly take advantage of the situation. This happens if you do not run your own tab. My husband, and I got stiffed with paying $150 for my sister, and her family because they insisted they would settle up after it was over. They had several drinks, and we didn't, and only put in $50 after ordering 4 hugh $50 meals plus 8 drinks. We never did that again.

Answer 6

Rudeness is often a matter of mixed expectations.

What should have happened was that at the beginning (or well before) the party, it should have been made clear by the host(s) just exactly what the payment expectations were to be... separate checks.... pooling... open bar... byob... whatever. This way, no one can be found to be "short" because everyone knows exactly what they are expected to pay for, or NOT pay for.

Answer 7

If you and the others at your end of the table did put in enough money to cover what you ordered, plus tip, then yes it was rude. If they can't afford or don't want to pay for something, then they should order it without asking if it's ok to do it. That's just crappy. I hope they weren't your friends, hopefully they were just friends of the birthday person, because no real friend would do that to you.

Answer 8

yes, this is why I don't like to do things like this ..some are ordering double scotches and I order a soft drink..and then only one as the refill is free..i am not going to pay for their bar bill either..you have been used..it should have been discussed before you even put the order in..they took advantage of you...plain an simple..they knew what they were doing..they got a free ride on your nickel..next time..speak up before you order..try Dutch Treat..or separate checks..some restaurants don't do this..thus no tip for them..but likely they have a rule where if its more then 6 or 8 they charge a 15% Gratuity anyway..automatic...sometimes people double tip...but you have to speak up..cause they are not your friends if they short change you this way

Answer 9

I don't blame you for getting upset. That was incredibly rude for them to expect you to pick up more than your fair share of the tab.
I agree with the person who said that you should have sent the bill back down to their end of the table and say you have already paid your portion plus tax and tip, the rest is up to them.

Answer 10

Yes, you have every right to be upset. You should have spoke up and just said hey..we only ordered a few drinks the rest was your stuff..i put in my money. But hey maybe they were too drunk by that point to care.