How do you get over blowing away a great opportunity?

Question

I've been asking questions here all weekend. But now I think it's time I faced the truth.....end of the line. I felt strong feelings for this beautiful friend of mine. I was too aggressive and I spooked her away. What really hurts me is the fact that she gave me her phone number, I didn't have to ask. What are the odds that a beautiful woman will give you her phone # w/o having to ask for it. I jumped the gun, I tried to kiss her, and ask her to be my girlfriend two days before going out, I begged her. Now I've come to realize that, that has to be the BIGGEST MISTAKE that I've made in my entire life. I can't forgive myself for making such a foolish mistake. How can I get over this? I am currently going the biggest of low of my life and need enlightenment. It's not just the girl, It's the fact that I screwed up something very good.

Answer 1

It happens man. I know the feeling.

First thing to do is chill your boots. Don't whatever you do send her a huge rambling email declaring your undying love for her (Man that was a mistake, take it from me!)
Keep it simple. Drop her a note or a text or pick up the phone and just say something like "Listen, I wanted to apologise for coming on really strong the other day. I jumped the gun a bit and panicked but it's only because I like you a lot and just want to get to know you because I think you're a really beautiful and special person and it's rare to find people like that these days." or something.
Leave it in a no pressure way. Let her know you don't expect anything from her, you just felt you owed her an explanation for your odd behaviour. Leave it in her court with an offer to go out sometime maybe and if she doesn't contact you again then let it be.
And don't get down on yourself! This is important. Recognise what you did wrong and remain humble but don't beat yourself up about it! Nobody likes to see somebody hating themself.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Send her an e-mail or leave a phone message. With humor, tell her that she was so appealing that you lost your good sense and came on too strong. Then, apologize sincerely.
Let some time pass, at least a couple of weeks, and send her another e-mail or voice message. Ask if you are out of the dog house yet and suggest she meet you at some sort of group activity with mutual friends in a very public place. Promise to be on your best behavior and then sign off.
If she agrees, then keep your hands to yourself, and be friendly, but respectful, like her mother is sitting along side.
A couple of good guy showings and perhaps she will see that you do have some self discipline and can be trusted.
If she says no the the first outing, wait a couple of weeks and give it one more try. If she says "no" a second time, understand that this sounds permanent and move on.
It sounds like you have learned a lesson here. That's the first step to a more mature attitude.

Answer 3

I didn't take the time to read the paragraph...but this'll answer your main question: How do you get over blowing away a great opportunity?

The truth is...you can't. You won't be able to "get over" blowing THAT particular opportunity. However, what you have to do is look on the bright side of things and realize that you gained some great experience from that. Try not to be regretful and do something fun to get your mind off of it. Then, the absolute best thing you can do: Don't make the mistake again. If you ever find yourself in that same situation, with the same "opportunity"...don't blow it again.

Good luck to you in the future.

Answer 4

First, you have to realize that your past or your present doesn't determine your future. So, just because you made a mistake, doesn't mean it is the end of the world. I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. So, there is a reason that you jumped the gun - maybe God wanted to show you that you have to slow down and not jump into relationships. Or maybe, God didnt want this relationship to happen (although you did). So, my advice is to relax, don't beat yourself up to bad, and call this girl to apologize for your hasty behavior. Then, move on with your life and the next time you meet a girl, GO SLOW!!!

Answer 5

You should work on your self esteem.... start doing some things to make yourself happy and proud. All is not lost! Work on yourself first... you will find that new opportunities present themselves when you least expect it.... and those opportunties can be with the same person or someone even better. The most important things you can have in a relationship are self esteem, confidence and a certain amount of independence. Work on those and the relationship will definitely come.

Answer 6

awww, forgive yourself, we all make stupid mistakes. Idon't know all the details but if she gave you her # then she must have liked you,,you probably scared the heck out of her,,,leave her alone for now,and maybe try another time. If nothing happens after that then there was nothing there in the 1st place and your better off moving on to someone else,and DON"T make the same mistake again,,good luck

Answer 7

I don't know if I would throw in the towel just yet; perhaps you can at the minimum make peace with her and save your friendship. I am in a similar situation, where I was too aggressive with a shy guy, and I know at least myself I am going to continue to feel bad until I talk to him and try one last time to make things right.

I would just try to talk to her one more time, for your own piece of mind, before you call it quits with her. Friendship is better than nothing.

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

Well the first thing you need to do is quit blowing it way out of proportion. Trust me - it won't be the biggest mistake you will ever make!
Then you remember this mistake and make sure you don't make it again. Life will go on...

Answer 9

oh crap, i hate to say it but i you sorta did mess up, but there is hope... she obviosly liked you, i think she will be willing to forgive you, i know would, so maybe write her a note apologizing, and find a cute song and print out the lyrics, or write one, that says something about how you feel... this ones kinda cute: "Must have done something right" by Relient K.... or the song that the free hugs campaign is used as is music video, its by sick pupies...its the sweetest thing.... but then maybe at the last line right... say you messed up and just explain how you freaked out, and that you wheren't being yourself, and beg for a second chance... this may seem degrating, but it seems like you really liked her and she liked you, and there is NOWAY anyone could say no to that

Answer 10

Acting like that will creep any girl out. give her some time and then just explain to her that, you've like her for so long that you got carried away...and then drop it! Let her know that you'd still like to go out sometime if she'd like to but let her decide.

Sometimes, when guys act that way and we see that side of them, there's no going back...you'll just have to wait and see if you creeped her out a little too much :)