i lost a baby 3yrs ago and i still havent got overit why does it still hurt so much and how can i stop hurting

Answer 1

Never. The hurt never dies, hurt is not something you forget or lose or fades away completly. Hurt becomes somthing you can live with and will help "expand" your heart many wise people have taught me. The expansion means you can add more experience, more gentle room to love in your soul and body and life.

You'll never be able to get the pain to be gone, but there will be joys that will overide the pain, that will overwhealm your "new" heart and begin to help you with the next day or the day when the pain is a little harder then you expect.

I have a shadow baby, one that will never be born, one that was taken before I knew why. I grive that lost child, the pain was great, but I began to get better over time....the worst was how long people told me "it would one day be better" and I'd wake up and hope that day was coming or already there.

Breathe deep, prayers are surrounding your baby, one day you will have more room, the pain becomes something you can bear.

Answer 2

Hi there i too lost a baby nearly five years ago she was a twin and that is hard looking at my little girl and thinking there should be two of them. It will always hurt but it does get easier i dont know how it just does but you baby will always be in your heart and your babies soul will be around you. Losing a child is the worst thing that has ever happened to me but its made me a strong person and my beliefs are that one day i will hold my baby again but i now live for the three children i have here and now. When i pass to spirit world i will then be with the baby i lost and that helps me alot knowing shes with family that have passed over it is comforting. I hope you too can find some comfort in your life and one day you will see that your baby is always in your heart but that pain you once had has gone. I wish you the very best on your journey to heeling.

Answer 3

Join a support group. My husband and I lost a baby girl at 21 weeks last Aug and I would have been due just before Christmas so I had a real hard time. There are yahoo groups that are for women that have lost babies due to miscarriage, stillbirth, or lost a baby right after birth. It is an extremely hard thing to go through and you can't do it alone. I keep thinking about how old my baby would be now if she would have lived and I keep thinking about if I had done something that I shouldn't have that caused it, but it was out of my hands and the hands of my doctors. You need to make sure that you do not blame yourself for what happened. Also, talk to your doctor about maybe going on anti-depressants. I had to do this a couple of weeks after I lost my baby. There is also a website where you can put your baby's name (If you named them) for miscarriage, stillbirth, etc. www.angels4ever.com.

Answer 4

I know exactly how you feel. I lost 2 children. My first would be 10 this year and my second would be 7. First of all you will NEVER get over it. You will accept it and learn to cope with it. The hardest times are birthdays and holidays. I found lighting a candle on special days comforting, one for each of them. And talking about it does help alot. I still day dream about them and what they would be like and I always will. I promise it does get easier to deal with but take it one day at a time. I have two other children and I found focusing on them and not dwelling on my loss makes it easier. Best of luck and very sorry of your loss.

Answer 5

That saying time hills all wounds is bull i can tell you that about seven years ago i was in a car accident and in that accident i lost my 2 month old daughter i know how hard it is what helped deal with not get over it cause you never forget it he or she will always have a place in your heart. Just remember you did nothing to make this happen i know that is probably running Thur your head. For ever i thought it was my fault and then i decided that it was mine i didn't tell that guy to drink and i sure didn't tell him to hit my car either. Find yours self one way or another i found my self in god i am not sure what you believe but that helped me alot and family they were there every single time i broke down no matter if it was 2 p.m. or 2 a.m. they were always there. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

I feel for u....coz my sis also lost her baby. I have 2 kids so I can understand how u feel. I lost my beloved mother 3 yrs ago also. For the 1st year, I avoid looking at her photo. I try to believe that she will be better off now that she has no more illness. Think positive & u not feel so painful.. LOOKING ahead & not the past. Believe me, u be stronger!

Good luck!

Answer 7

you lost something very preciouse you will always miss your baby and will never forget it but it is o.k to move on seek therapy if you need help in doing this maybe join a support group where you can be with other people who are going through what you are i am very sorry for your loss

Answer 8

you will never get over it, it will hurt less as time goes by
you will no longer be hurt by seing a pregnant woman but by seing a child of the same age
I don't know how many month you were when you have your misc or if you did know the date of the birth
for me I go to church on the anniversaries
Take care & God Bless

Answer 9

im so sorry for you ive had 3 misscarriages & if anyone asks if i have kids i say yes but not living, it hurts every day

my first baby died quite far into the pregnancy i gave birth to her & buried her with my grandad so she wasnt alone, i kept a blanket she was wraped in & i bought 2 identical teddies the "mum" teddy i buried with her & i keep the "baby" teddy with me i also have a baby album containing photos & a poem i wrote for her

the pain wont go away but it will get easier celebrate your baby remember he or she is not in pain anymore & be strong believe me what dosent kill you makes you stronger

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear your lost. I know what you are going thur. I lost a baby at my 4th month. All I can tell you life must go on and keep our father God first and everything will come to past. You can have another one, but you'll always remember that first one you lost. Just are God to make you stronger. God Bless you...