I would like to find some one who has experience working with problematic people to help me understand my mom?

Question

and the things my mother feels she must do,since the age of around 5 or 6 i could remember that my mother would break my toys and tell my dad i did it, this was bad because my dad didn't have to much money at that time and it made me look like i didn't care,as time went on she would hide things and tell him i stole it or sold it, everything i ever had to say about anything she would tell everyone in our family it was all lies and that i was a big problem child, latter on i had a son and my mom would never have anything to do with him and said i spent to much time thinking about that kid,he is 18 now and they have called him maybe 7 times, i'm remarried now to a nice latina girl that i never have seen cry until i left her with my mom for 2 days that my dad and i where gone,she said some really horrable lies, my mom talks very bad about my dad too but i can't bring myself to tell him how bad she really is behind his back, what would you do and what is wrong with my mom?

i have a sister who has never known of this problem she lives in another state where she and her kids are safe from my mom for now, but soon my mom and dad will be moving thier to live near my sister, the bad thing is my sister has 3 little kids and 2 are little boys should i worry for them, last time i was at my sister for X-MAS a expencive toy came up missing and my sister looked and looked and latter thought the house cleaning lady took it to give to her kids for X-MAS she is mexican and i know it was my mom trying to get her fired so my sister would ask mom to come and work for her, you see my mom tells my sister she and my dad have no money for medicine so my sister feels bad for them because my sisters husband is a doctor with lots of money he makes, and my sister only wants to help them not knowing the true greed of my mom its like the lies she tells my dad how broke they are while she rat holes all the money he has made over his life time, should i tell my family about her?

And just what kind of person is my mom please help me understand this lady.

for answer 2)Yes at one point one of her old school friends told me that she said they took me in as their own because i was found on the front door step one morning as they got the morning milk bottles, thats the way people use to get milk in california they brought it to your door, so really i don't know, iv'e been told i look like them but who knows for sure,all i know is none of my family respects me or likes me because of her stores not even my dad likes or trust me, but still i say nothing.

Answer 1

Inferiority complex. Your mom is jealous of any and everyone around who comes between her and her man. Shefeels superior by causing trouble and getting them into trouble for it. Telling on someone, even if it were lies, gives her power to destroy others at her will. It sounds like she never outgrew her childish ways and probably wont either. You just need to inform anyone that has contact with her not to believe her as you guys have found out. Shes out to make everyone else know what she has known (in her mind this is true) that she is the ideal human. She cant face what others really think of her so internally she has developed the perfect person to be and downgrading others is her way to achieve this idea. She really doesnt fully understand what it is exactly she is doing to herself and others by doing this but to her it all doesnt matter. No real way to deal with it other than get professional help but she will probably refuse it anyway than to just ignore her. Good luck

Answer 2

dear god!!! tahst a life time of suffering! oh dear wonder if u should write to doctor phil about her i mean u really need an expert to hlep u out . its deep problme and as old as urself . and can hardly beileve that ur the onyl one that knows teh truth about her. i mean is it possible that ur father as well as ur sisiter dont knwo nothign! or is it possible that ur maybe some how misjudged her! i mean dont think so but how does she get her exposed to u and kept it from rest of the family and is it possible that ur father never suspected anthing or questioned the money isuue! can ur sister be so misleaded about her own mother!? i think that u need to see ur sister and tell her everything u know and am sure she wont take forever to start making sense once the thinsg start to fall together in ront of her , recaling soem childhood memories herself. as for ur father guess now as am assumin is retired and got to soend more tiem aroudn her it wont be hard to exchange clues with him . who knows u might be surprised that ur father and sister know more than u think they do but juts dont wanna deal with it. curing her is most unlikely possible now. but controlling te damage she can still make is very possible
one question are u sure ur her son not adopted?sorry but ist really hard to beleive!
good luck