Husband's parents did something a little psycho, in my opinion, but what do you think?

Question

My hubby and I went out of town for the last 3 days. We have a 7 month black lab puppy and a cat, so his parents watched them for us and stayed at our house. He is an only child, so his parents insist on "doing things" around the house while they are here. His mother decided to reorganize my recently organized cabinets, all 6 of them. She put things "away" in drawers that we normally leave out. And, the one that really ticked me off, his dad searched through the house to find MY car keys to move my car so he could sweep the garage floor. They keys were well hidden in a place where we keep other personal items, if you know what I mean. I think this behavior is a bit extreme. How many of you would stay at someone's house and move their items, reorganize clean and organized cabinets and nose around to find their car keys? Opinions welcome. My house was very clean before we left for vacation. Thanks!

Yep, my father-in-law did find the car keys and moved my car!

Answer 1

I'm sure they did it with love and not vengence, so just politely explain that as much as you like their help, you have things organized where they are comfortable for you, and in the future they should respect your wishes to not meddle.

Answer 2

Sounds like an "Everybody loves Raymond" episode! It would really piss me off if my own parents did that to me. Especially knowing just how much they nosed around by finding the car keys that were hidden. I have house sit before for friends and only cleaned the mess I made and never even considered snooping in their business. Your husband's parents has issues. Next time they stay at your house, give them something really interesting to find!

Answer 3

I have to admit, that sounds a bit on the strange side.

I have kids, and although I love them dearly and would do anything for them, I would NEVER invade their privacy in such a way. To me, what your in-laws did is crossing a line of expected privacy.

I know some people might think "it's no big deal, they just cleaned up a little", but the fact remains that this is your house and these are your things. To come in, rearrange, snoop, etc is undermining your authority as the woman of your household and as your husband's wife.

It sounds to me like they need to realize their son isn't a little boy anymore. It's one thing for them to help out, it's something entirely different to disrespect you in the process. My opinion is to either have both you and your huband, or just one of you sit them down and discuss why you felt this was a violation so that it doesn't happen again. Or, worse yet, that it doesn't turn into a bigger problem.

Answer 4

They probably didn't know that they did wrong. Maybe if someone do that to them, it's something they will be happy and greatful for, but if they knew what they did will upset you, they won't do that. I'm sure they do it all out of good intention. Next time, just lock the bedroom door and all the other stuff away. It's probably best that you do give them the car key, so that they can take care of it for you too. Please don't think of them as 'psycho' but instead, look at them in a positive way- they're just trying to help.

Answer 5

The only person I know who would do these things are parents and in-laws. My mother-in-law always thinks her way is better. I'm sure if she stayed in my house a weekend she would rearrange stuff too. I'd have to put personal items under lock and key!

Answer 6

I for one would do some cleaning and straightening even if it is neat. Don't really like to do my own though. The searching through things for a set of keys is going to far into my personal and privacy. But the kitchen stuff that's just a woman thing.

Answer 7

That would really bother me, too. Normally we don't have anyone stay at our house when we leave - just stop in to take care of the pets. Having someone stay there for the 3 days would seem weird enough, but having them digging through all of your stuff? I mean, they would have had to work really fast to get through all of that in only 3 days -- almost like they had a plan before you left so they could get it all done.

I guess you have to assume they did it to be helpful, but your husband (since it's his parents) has GOT to tell them to please not do this in the future. You guys have to have your privacy and they have got to respect that our you're going to have to hire a "pet sitter" the next time.

I just can't imagine ever going to someone house and doing that.... ok, I can IMAGINE it, but I could never actually do it!

Answer 8

I wouldnt like that either. But it was probably a mixture of being nice and being nosey. Next time dont invite them to stay at your home. It was rude what they did, searching for keys that were obviously hidden. Not much you can do now, just leanr from the experience and either board the animals or take them to their house.

Answer 9

I'm hoping he didn't actually find the car keys. I would be pretty upset too. I can see them getting bored since they aren't at home, and doing some things to help out but they went way overboard. Perhaps you should consider other options the next time you go out of town....

Answer 10

I can understand why you feel so violated. First off they came and began to organize your home which was in perfectly straight condition, then they raid your house looking for your keys? However when I go on vacation and leave someone in the presence of my vehicle I will leave the keys there just in case. Instead of hiding the car keys next time you should just leave them in plain sight!

Answer 11

They mean well but yikes! I suggest not saying anything to them yourself, leave it up to your husband or agree to never let them house sit for you again. I didn't get whether the old man actually found the keys or not. Everyone has their own personal items which differ person to person but if some old man found what I would consider my personal stuff I would be freaked.