Guys: how weight is acceptable?

Question

I am significantly overweight (ok, I'll admit it, obese, but I am fairly tall, carry well, and losing- I'm not a member of the yo-yo dieters club).

I have been talking to a guy online (not some random guy, I know him through a friend) however, we have never met in person. Based on what we talk about he has said I'm the type of girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with- so intellectually it is going really well.

I am nervous about meeting him (I think he might come down this summer). He hasn't asked how I look yet (I use a 3D chat, so it isn't the typical first question).

So the point- how much weight (or overweight) is alright to be physically attractive.

*note: please be honest, I know alot of well meaning guys will want to say it doesn't matter, especially if he likes me this much already. I would still like a ball park area for what you still find attractive.*

Answer 1

as long as ur doing something about it, which u say u are, and u say it doesn't look too bad, cos ur tall then u should be ok.
As long as ur weight doesn't effect ur health than again it should be ok.

you could always upload a pic og ursel over here, just randomly and see what he does.

Answer 2

It sounds to me as though he's already attracted to your mind so what you look like shouldn't matter. Have you mentioned your weight in conversation? Have you already suggested you might be overweight? If so, he's going to expect it anyway. I'm also obese and try to carry it well but lets face it, once you're naked there ain't nowhere to hide it! however, I've chatted to people online and met up with one guy - we've met 3 times now and he really doesn't care about my wobbly bits. He loves my brain and we have amazing conversations, really sparking off each other.

The fact that you know this guy through a friend means he may already know what you look like and at the end of the day, if he's really shallow enough to dislike you simply because of how you look, is that the kind of guy you want?

I suspect you have nothing to worry about, you have great conversations, he obviously loves your personality and that counts for a lot. Looking great is one thing, but spending the rest of your life with a bland ornament who doesn't stimulate your brain isn't the recipe for a lasting relationship.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you.

Answer 3

I would say for people to give you the best response we need your weight and height for clarification.

He is a list of weights that I would say would be fine for someone that is fairly tall like 5'6-6'0 tall in a women but it also depends on your bone structure etc.
Bone structure can dramatically change the weight and what is your nominal weight compared to someone of the same height that has a much smaller or larger bone mass.
small bone structure 110-150lbs
medium bone structure 130-160
large bone structure 140-160
x-large bone structure 150-175
Any larger it really depends on the level of fat to the level of muscle.

Remember muscle weighs more then fat I would say if you are comfortable with you weight and are happy with the way you look then fine. If you feel you are packing a few unwanted pounds then maybe hit the gym and stop eating the sweets, red meat, and of course breads and starches meaning potatoes.

I would say if this guy likes you for you personailty and all he won't be looking at your weight as much as you think. Unless he is just shallow then why would you want him.

God Bless and Best Wishes.

Answer 4

Personally i wouldn't go for someone over a size 14-16. but that said i as once with a girl bigger than that. That relationship came out of a friendship so if you guys are getting on well he's less likely to care about your size than someone you might meet in a club

Answer 5

I think you should come clean and tell him about your weight before you meet - maybe even send him a picture. Let him know your a bit worried about it. If he really likes you that much it shouldn't be an issue. If he does see it as an issue then your better off without him.

I wouldn't worry too much though. Lots of men find "overweight" women very attractive.

Answer 6

you want honest?

If yer butt is a lot bigger than his, he isn't going to be turned on much past two or three dates.

We are shallow creatures, we guys. But---if you are in good shape, ie. stamina, dancing, long hikes, that can make it better. I had an obese girlfriend who could hike, dance all night, and she was sexy. I married a chubby girl who immediately quit her job, smoked like a chimney, and gained about 80 pounds. Uh, how to put this nicely (she was my only-ever wife) a man can't fake sexual excitement. If I am not turned on by a woman, it will become obvious very soon.

The only way to overcome chubby is to dress well and be energetic and happy. And---for your own sake if nothing else, try to eat right and exercise. The four best exercises---swimming, vigorous sex, bike riding and brisk walking/dancing.

Good luck. Sorry we guys are so shallow---it's genetic. We are turned on by what we perceive to be a likely healthy mother for our children---totally unconscious, totally there and proven to be true. If you are fat, you need to appear to be healthy, happy, energetic and well-groomed/dressed.

You asked for it.

Answer 7

Just be yourself, Give him a realistic description and see what he does. If what you say is true he may go for you anyway or balk. Remember too, he may have a thing or two that he's sweating the load that YOU may not like about him. It's a TWO way street here, you're NOT the only one trying to impress the other. He's probably every bit as afraid as you are that it may end when you find out he . . ..

Answer 8

I would say that a guy if he already liked you for you (without the physical appearance), then you shouldnt have a problem. if he suddenly met you and 'realised' he didnt like you teh same, then he really has no respect for you or really himself. noone should base feelings purely on looks - although admittingly in reality what you look like on the outside does matter to alot of people, even when it shoudlnt. i say take things slow with this guy even if you do end up meeting face to face - just because he says youre the 'type of girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with' doesnt mean that he is definately the one. when you do meet, just be confident with yourself and trust me, its a turn on with guys =)

Answer 9

It's hard to say. Every guy has a different scale. It really comes down to how good the woman looks. some can carry the weight well...others look gross and deformed. Maybe you can post of pic of yourself to be judged.

Answer 10

Size 14-16 is on the edge.