was dating a guy for three months.. he was very into me, (called me day after meeting, asked for date next day,etc..) the few time we hung out i was my normal sweet self.. but i found out that my favorit closest aunt was terminally ill so i shut down. i never told him what was wrong, but i guess he stayed around hoping i'd be how i was before. eventually he said he couldn't take me treating him like that anymore and broke up with me.. i didn't call him for a few weeks, but then my aunt died and i sent him an email explaining i was acting weird bc my aunt was sick. he didn't respond right away so i flipped out and bombarded him w/text messages..(crazy i know) he never ever did respond. a girlfriend of mine asked him what was his deal and he said i was annoying the heck out of him with my bs. i know for a fact that he doesn't have another girlfriend, so he honestly was tired of me being rude/cold.
so why when i reached out he didn't believe me/respond?
2007-04-22 09:09:13 · 6 answers · asked by noway 1 in Health ➔ Mental Health
in my heart, i think he might've been a nice guy just fed up. the one time we slept together i told him i was wasn't comfortable with that and he understood and kept spending time with me for two months after that, so i know he didn't only want one thing.. i just don't get it
he'd ask me.. "what do you want in a man?" i'd say no! i don't want anything from a man! .... he'd say things like"this is so cute, like we're in a relationship.." i'd say "no no we're not in a relationship!" that's just how much i was shut down emotionally
btw.. i know now that my actions were strangs.. i was grieving at the time but i don't understand his reaction
2007-04-22 09:09:28 · update #1
It seems to me that he tried really hard. And one can only put so much effort into something they feel won't work out anyway.
You may have liked him but by continually pushing him away emotionally you succeeded in pushing him away completely.
By the time you were able to tell him what was going on, he was most likely OVER the whole situation. You may have hurt him pretty badly, so he was likely not to respond because of fear of being hurt again.
And I don't think he or you either one were in the wrong.
2007-04-22 09:27:43 · answer #1 · answered by Randi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're reaping the 'benefits' of how you treated him....I know that sounds harsh, but you should've told him. Why should he come back to you when his experience of you is negative? Even though you were going through a hard time, it didn't give you the right to treat him that way, especially considering he had no idea what was wrong. He obviously assumed you were either a jerk or he and you didn't get along. But, regardless, just because you were going through that (and I'm very sorry by the way) doesn't mean that he's gonna be like, 'OH...okay...let's get back together'. You should've told him...you didn't, but then after you did and he clearly told you he wasn't interested in you anymore my not responding...you phone stalked him. Not attractive or appealing to anyone. Take this experience as a life lesson and use it in the future. Communicate to your boyfriends in the future what is happening with you and censor the way you treat people...let them be there for you, don't push them away. And P.S. ...never phone stalk someone. That's annoying to anyone. Say this is a done deal and move on.
2007-04-22 21:07:39 · answer #2 · answered by lutl424 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should have told him in the first place what was going on. i mean i know u were greiving but that waz no reason to take it out on him. i think u should apologize and if he doesn`t respond, just move on, but if he does then great but u need to give him his space because he probably feels shut out right now. if things end up working out between u two, then u need to be more honest about things next time.
2007-04-22 16:22:31 · answer #3 · answered by Sarah S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have told him in the first place the your aunt was ill and that you had to visit and take care of her. He's probably acting weird cause he got his feelings hurt and that he just doens't beleive you because he thinks you lieing .
2007-04-22 16:15:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither.
Unless you let someone know what is going on, they are left to draw their own conclusions.
Communication is an important aspect to avoid situations like this one.
2007-04-22 16:18:47 · answer #5 · answered by guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poor guy thinks you're nuts.
2007-04-22 16:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by wildmanny2 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋