I'm only 17 and a Junior in High School, while my boyfriend is 22. We've been dating for months and have been best friends since forever. We love eachother so much and on Friday night, he proposed to me. It was really sweet- but honestly, I didn't even think anything of it because all I was thinking was, "Dude, freaking I'm 17...??!" I instantly said "No," and told him that I was way too young for that kind of commitment. He actually got really upset and said that he loved me more than anything, but needed to start looking for someone who he could marry. He then left me and I just stood there, wondering if that really did just happen. We are still so in love and I still want to be with him. When I told him that I didn't want to lose him, he asked me if I changed my mind about marriage and ofcourse I said, "No." He told me that he just wants to take our relationship to the next step and he would stay if we moved in together--"NO." Does anyone have any ideas on how else I could keep him?
2007-04-22 07:55:42 · 14 answers · asked by Summer Hampton 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If it's really love, it can wait. If it can't, that's a simple indicator that he thinks his love for you won't last longer than a few years. Does he have a house? Or a good career? Does he have enough money should you get pregnant on the honeymoon to support you and a baby? No? That's also a good indicator that he needs to work on his career and investment portfolio in the meantime.
Men who demand to have things their way or they'll LEAVE, are the kind who really don't care about you, your needs or your feelings. They only care about their gradification, even it it's at someone else's cost. Show him this answer, ask him to ponder on these ideas and not push them off because they don't 'suit' him.
2007-04-22 08:02:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly - I don't think you can unless you can maturely tell him that you are 17 and that you a just aren't ready to make that commitment at this age. You need to tell him when you would. To be honest I think at 22 he is too young to be making such a move and if he is thinking like that he shouldn't be dating a 17 year old. What does this guy do for a living? It just doesn't sound like he has thought any of this out very well. Do you have plans for college? If you do marriage at this age is going to make that difficult. I really think he should move on and so should you. Regardless, it sounds like the two of you should have a long talk or more before you make any hasty decisions.
Good Luck!!!
2007-04-22 15:06:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You seem so sweet and so this is really hard to say but honestly, if his wants and yours are not the same, this just really isn't the right time to be together. Trying to come up with ways to keep him is just going to end up hurting you in the end because it seems you will have to give something up that you don't want to, you know?
When it's time, it will work.
For now, you're only 17, getting married should be the farthest thing from your mind...and even though he's 22 and wants to start looking for someone he can marry...well, take one last shot and tell him that could be you down the road but just not right now. If he can't understand that you don't need to be engaged with ring and all, but instead that you can just keep a simple promise to eachother until you're ready for that, then well...he's just not for you. Not right now.
best of luck...let me know how things go...
2007-04-22 15:02:57 · answer #3 · answered by sofia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well just because he asked you to marry him doesn't mean you were going to do that tomorrow was it? Did you ask him when? And if your 1st thought was to say no then maybe just maybe you really don't love him as you may think. You could and you would have said yes if your love for him is in your heart but again you are young so your thoughts are not on getting hooked with someone forever, so think about it if you were to say yes you could stay engaged for a couple of years I know someone who has been dating since she was 18 the same guy and now she is 21 and thoughts of marriage are creeping in her brain of course not his just yet and he is 25. So you need to stop and think can you commit and still him for a couple of years if you truly love him because if he does love you then he will wait for you he just needed to know that you are commited to him and only him .........that thoughts of dating someone else aren't there this is what I believe you should do for love.
2007-04-22 15:16:39 · answer #4 · answered by cea1059 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you want to take time and mature a little more!
If it's truly love he'll take the time for you! All that he wants is some security in your relationship! If you really love him like you say you do he'll eventually understand! If he doesn't want to listen wright down what you feel in a letter and that will last a little longer than words! Your still young but you don't have to get married right away! You could always think about it and and as your relationship grows set an engagement date to yourself and then start hinting around! It sounds like he just don't want to lose you! He just wants to show how much!
2007-04-22 15:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by beuford 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that someone love you, when he disagree on an important decision that you take by saying "No " to his proposal, he might be going a bit tooooo fast on the next step, Gal stop and think about your future, if you are getting involved in married life now, then you are one girl missing lots of fun out of life, REMEMBER marriage is a very sacred thing, and it is meant for life, its not a light decision to take, so think carefully, I know you may not agree with what i say, but i think that you are way too young for such commitment now. If the guy really loves you as he says, then he should wait until you are ready to take this step.
Please do take my advice. Thanks
2007-04-22 15:03:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not willing to wait for you until you're ready, then leave his ***. You'll find someone else to love, you shouldn't settle down with one guy at 17, and I just mean a long relationship not necassarily marriage. You should have fun and meet more guys before you decide to keep one. There's plenty other fish in the sea and you'll find someone that you love even MORE.
2007-04-22 15:00:43 · answer #7 · answered by lexis-gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let him go. He's an idiot and if he thinks you're ready for marriage he really doesn't know you. Thank god you know yourself. He's looking for a wife and should be looking for someone closer to his own age. You will be in love again...and again. Finish high school. Go to college. Your world is just opening up and there's lots more to experience.
2007-04-22 15:02:48 · answer #8 · answered by steller 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good girl, at your age I would have done anything to keep a guy. If he really loves you he'll wait. If not you'll be fine, go have fun and enjoy dating. This just may be for the best. Don't give in, you'll regret it.
2007-04-22 15:02:16 · answer #9 · answered by michele a 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am so proud of you! That is smart thinking for a girl your age. Tell him that you are not opposed to marriage, just not now. If he really loves you he will understand and he will wait for you until you are ready. Just keep beling level headed...you'll do fine. Smart girl!!!
2007-04-22 15:00:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋