Simple, you gave her your word, stick to it!
You've been a mother now for at least 18 years (don't know if you have any other children), you shouldn't even have to ask this question, you already know the answer. You're just looking for someone to go along with you and say she should give up what you promised her? You're not going to find it, we all know better, and so do you ;)
She has 1 prom (her own, cousin's doesn't count) in her lifetime, stop ruining it!! Are these really the memories you want her to have looking back years from now...c'mon Mom, grow up. If you force her to go with you, you will have ruined one of the biggest and most important days of her life and there's no taking that back when you suddenly realize you've done the wrong thing...because you will.
Good Luck :)
I have to add, after re-reading your question, and because it just makes my blood boil, that if you actually go through with forcing her to go with you, you are the worst mother and she will have every right to hate you!
I have a 15 year old daughter, and I would never dream of doing something like this to her.
I hope you come to your senses before it's too late. Go tell her you're a complete idiot and you've made a terrible mistake and you don't know what you were thinking.
Then I'd do something extra special for her prom, rent a limo if you haven't already done so, send her and her boyfriend and a few friends out for dinner at your expense. Do something as you're way of saying I'm sorry because you should be, you should be very very sorry!
2007-04-22 07:11:19
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answer #1
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answered by ojann 3
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I don't blame your daughter for being angry; very angry. You had made what sounded like a perfectly good compromise agreement about the two prom weekends. She would attend her cousin's graduation and you would let her have her prom weekend on the 18th.
You backed out of your agreement. Your daughter now has no idea when you will stick to your word. She is 18, not 6 year old. She should not be expected to completely set aside her life, which includes a social life, so that she will always be available when your plans change.
You should apologize to her for all the confusion and all the plan changing and go back to your original agreement with her. You should also not expect to spoil her sweet 16 plans that were already made. Ask her to write a nice letter to her grandfather wishing him happy birthday and if she can, she can place a phone call to him during the party.
In the future, first plans made come first, not your plans come before her plans. Do you know how unimportant and unvalued you make your daughter feel when she make plans and you reserve the right to always change them. You can show your daughter how mature you can be by admitting that you were wrong and letting her go through with her plans.
2007-04-22 07:10:36
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answer #2
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answered by friendlyadvice 7
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You must know how HUGE of a deal your daughters prom is to her!! She also probably feels like she was already making a sacrifice for the family b/c of you asking her to skip her prom for her cousins graduation party. YOU also made HER a promise and I am sure that you had EVERY INTENTION of keeping it.
This is my suggestion... ask her to sit down with you and both of you come up with some sort of "plan" that will make all of you happy!! Maybe tell her that you know you told her that she could have her "prom weekend" and you know that you are now renigging on that promise. Maybe find a better solution. Instead of her having her "weekend" right after prom, tell her that she can still go to prom but since you have to leave early the next morning that you will make it up to her!! Tell her that you will PAY for a chalet (or something) for her AND 3 or 4 of her friends) for 2 nights on HER graduation night... instead of her prom night!! (If that is okay with you of course!) It really all depends on how much you trust her and her judgement. You may not feel like she is mature enough to handle something like that!
My mom let me have OUR house for 2 nights and let me invite over 5 of my friends to stay w/ me. We DID drink a little, party a little...but for the most part we just hung out and enjoyed the time that we had together!! After all EVERYTHING is about to change for your daughter! Its an exciting time but also a scary and stressful time for her!!
Just try and do SOMETHING to make it up to her!! That way she KNOWS you are not just trying to take away something she really cares about!!
Hope this helps!!
2007-04-22 07:10:08
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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You gave your permission already for the 18th you can not take it away from her. Grandpa will understand she already had plans and could not attend. She is a young woman now not just a little girl you put on car backseat. I have a 19 year old daughter I know it`s not easy to let go of certain things like having them at every birthday party and family reunion specially when it`s a last minute call. This is a big thing for her remember when you were her age!
2007-04-22 07:12:38
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answer #4
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answered by Jane Marple 7
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Why are you and your husband argueing? You need to be on the same page when you speak to the daughter. You and him talk and decicde what her options are. Give her the options and let her decide this way or that. Give her an opthion of a couple different ways so that she can make a choice. Neither of the choices will be perfect for her but she will have a little say. Life is not fair and you and your hubby need to discuss and give reasons to each other so that you can get your story straight and the daughter not play the two of you against each other.
2007-04-22 07:08:10
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answer #5
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answered by ronnny 7
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You are being really selfish. You made a deal with her and then you went back on your word. Why is your husband's fathers birthday so much more important thas her prom? There will be more birthdays but not more proms. You should let her miss the birthday party, otherwise you seem like a manipulative liar.
I agree with army_sister71. I sure am glad that you are not my mom.
2007-04-22 07:10:45
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answer #6
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answered by Ms Liz 3
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A senior prom is a once in a lifetime deal. I can understand why she is upset. She can go see her cousin or grandfather anytime. I work with teenagers and see firsthand how VERY important these events are to them. There will always be parties for family members, but not another senior prom. She probably believes that you don't understand how important it is to her.
2007-04-22 07:04:56
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answer #7
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answered by mizchulita 3
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My God, what kind of mom are you? I am a mom as well, and would never dream of making a deal with my child. It is her prom....HELLOOOOO! She should have been able to go to prom especially that it is her senior year. There are only a couple proms in a girl's life and you asked and was forcing her to give those up for a friggin grad party and b-day party. WOW glad you weren't my mom.
2007-04-22 07:05:53
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answer #8
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answered by army_sister71 4
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Let her go. It is a coming of age ceremony, and to restrict that is almost contradictory.
Believe me. Grandpa's been around the block. He will be happy she is having a good time at prom. Grandpas know their families hafve lives and things to attend to, and they WANT them to. Just make sure she calls and tries to go to the next event.
2007-04-22 07:05:29
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answer #9
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answered by Melissa 2
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You already gave your word, and now you are retracting it. You already made her miss prom, which was obviously very important to her. Now you are asking her to wreck her prom with a early morning the next day.
She's 18 now, its her choice to go to her prom, her cousins graduation, or her grandpa's birthday. But you shouldn't break your word to her.
2007-04-22 07:05:39
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answer #10
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answered by griffinthecat 3
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