is this normal? is he a jerk or i?

Question

i was dating a guy for three months.. he was very into me, (called me day after meeting, asked for date next day,etc..) the few time we hung out i was my normal sweet self.. but i found out that my favorit closest aunt was terminally ill so i shut down. i never told him what was wrong, but i guess he stayed around hoping i'd be how i was before. eventually he said he couldn't take me treating him like that anymore and broke up with me.. i didn't call him for a few weeks, but then my aunt died and i sent him an email explaining i was acting weird bc my aunt was sick. he didn't respond right away so i flipped out and bombarded him w/text messages.. he never ever did respond. a girlfriend of mine asked him what was his deal and he said i was annoying the heck out of him with my bs. i know for a fact that he doesn't have another girlfriend, so he honestly was tired of me being rude/cold. so why when i reached out he didn't believe me/respond? is he

in my heart, i think he might've been a nice guy just fed up. the one time we slept together i told him i was wasn't comfortable with that and he understood and kept spending time with me for two months after that, so i know he didn't only want one thing.. i just don't get it

he'd ask me.. "what do you want in a man?" i'd say no! i don't want anything from a man! .... he'd say things like"this is so cute, like we're in a relationship.." i'd say "no no we're not in a relationship!" that's just how much i was shut down emotionally

btw.. i know now that my actions were strangs.. i was grieving at the time but i don't understand his reaction

Answer 1

Neither one of you are jerks. It's just a misunderstanding you 2 have.

Answer 2

I'm so sorry for your loss, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Hon, I really sympathize with you, but I think you've answered your own question. In the midst of your dating, you pulled away from this guy with no explanation, then when he made the decision to move on, you "flipped out and bombarded him with text messages." Put yourself in his shoes. He seems like a nice guy (from what you've posted here) so I don't think he was in it to take advantage of you in any way. He probably assumed you weren't into being in a relationship with him as much as he might have been interested in being in one with you, and when you didn't return his feelings he felt the best thing to do was to get out of the situation all together. He may have felt sympathy for you (and we don't know for sure what his feelings are/were because he's not here to speak for himself), but typically there's an expectation if you feel comfortable with someone that, if something happens like in your particular situation, that you would share that with him, no matter how hard it may have been for you. You never know, he might have understood that you needed a little time to yourself, or maybe he had experienced something similar in his life where he could relate to you.

In any event, and I'm not trying to be critical of you especially since you are obviously going through a difficult time emotionally, you need to just let this guy go. It doesn't sound to me like he's trying to be mean; he probably just didn't understand why you shut him out, and maybe this is just a sign that your relationship was just not meant to be. If you guys had been together for several years and this had happened, I would definitely question his character for just breaking it off, but given you'd only been together a few months I think he might have actually been doing you guys a favor if he realized your goals as far as the relationship was concerned did not match his. If I were in your shoes, I would just use this as a life lesson and move on. Good luck to you, Honey!

Answer 3

Give him some space for now. I would stop texting him for a while, and just let him do his thing. During this time, you can get yourself together also and heal even deeper emotionally. After a couple of months or so, or whenever you feel the time is right, then start talking to him again. Keep it very light. Just a "hey what's up" kind of thing, and hopefully you will build back a friendship. He will see that you've healed and you guys will grow close, and if it's meant to be it will be! Good luck!!

Answer 4

I think you hurt him real bad. If you could not be honest with him, he probley thinks now , what about the next time. Can you imagine what was going through his mind during the time you were dating. I don't think he trust you . Maybe let a little time pass, and try talking to him again, have a nice talk, and back off and let him think. Don"t
hound him. If you get another chance share your feelings with him or anyone else you may be with in the future. Don't leave them in the dark. I know losing someone is really hard, I lost a brother and a7yr. niece. They were not ill. One in a car accident, and the other allergic reaction to wey. If I did not have someone to help me through it I don"t know what I would of done. You can get your strength through them.

Answer 5

First of all, you sound young and if he is also young it might really be too much for him to deal with right now. You should have let him know what was going on in the first place because maybe he would have had some way to help you through that rough time.

I am sorry for your loss. I hope things get better for you.

Answer 6

specific, that's primary. The male will orgasm fairly with out postpone (occurs in all species - not purely human) for the time of the 1st around. It then takes a couple of minutes for his metabolism to reset (so he can get confusing). the 2d around will take plenty longer do to the diminished sensitivity of the penis and the prostate gland not being swollen with fluid - it takes time to recharge. The third circulate around additionally will take greater time because of the fact there'll be even much less fluid interior the prostate - in fact maximum men won't orgasm interior the third around - that's why women human beings have the coolest thing approximately diverse orgasms (they are able to do it many times and over and...). however the portion of intercourse should not be your orgasm, it will be the shared time with the guy you adore and getting her to orgasm (many times and...). only get excitement from the time with the guy you adore, otherwise pay her the $one hundred and boot her out the door.

Answer 7

While I think neither of you were jerks, I think what happened was a serious lack of communication. I say what you should do is talk to your boyfriend and try to patch things up with him.

Answer 8

maybe you should've opened up sooner and if he really cared then he could have been there for you or just let you handle it in your own way instead of getting pissed and not knowing what was going on

sorry about your aunt!

Answer 9

* i would say he is a jerk.he should have tried to be more understanding when you told him about your aunt.if he had any real feelings he would have been more patient with you and been their for you when you needed him.his loss.find someone with more feelings and understanding.good luck.

Answer 10

Pigs are all men, straight, gay or anything that moves and has a heartbeat. Speaking for my people we are all the same, my sincere apologies to you girl!!!