Graduation Invitation Etiquette?

Question

Ok, so on the box for my brother's invitations it says to address the outside of the envelope as shown:

Mr. & Mrs. John Doe
1234 Main Street
Boston, MA 02134

But, I am a little confused about the inside envelope. Say John's is one of my mom's friends and his wife's name is Jane (go figure, I know). So, it says that I should put what the graduate calls them. So, would I put
Mr. John and Mrs. Jane
OR
Mr. John and Ms. Jane??
When calling a married woman by her first name, would you say Ms. or Mrs.???

Thanks!

Answer 1

What do you call them? If you call them Mr. Doe and Mrs. Doe, then on the inner envelope, put Mr and Mrs Doe again.
If you call them John and Jane, put John and Jane. If you call them Aunt and Uncle, put Aunt Jane and Uncle John, etc. Ask yourself, if they were here and I wanted to ask them a question, what name would I use?

Answer 2

It depends on how strict you are with them and how formal things are. It also depends on the age difference. As the earlier poster said, Aunt Jane and Uncle John if that is how you refer to it. The main reason for the requirements if for spacing.

The inner envelope specifically says who is invited. For example, if they have a child named Scott. You might address an envelope to Mr and Mrs John Doe and on the inside put John, Jane and Scott Doe. If the children are not to be invited it would specifically say John and Jane Doe. That is how they would know that children are not invited.

I would put Mr and Mrs John Doe and then on the inside put John and Jane Doe. That covers all etiquette and does not sound like you may be overstepping the lines of respectability as it might if you just put "John and Jane."

When calling a woman by her first name you would not put Ms or Mrs. First name basis is just that--first name basis. You would call her "Jane". If you are using a title, you would say Mrs Doe. There are some oddities and irregularities with older women. Some single women who have never married are called Miss Jane by everyone. There are some teachers who go by their first name--when I taught pre-schoolers they called all of their teachers Miss Jane. But those are rare.

Normally Ms is either used as either a divorced woman or a woman whose status you do not know. It is also appropriate in the business world to use Ms instead of Miss, as a sign of respect. Miss tends to be more frivilous as is Miss America or young miss. A woman who has taken her husbands name would technically be Mrs. John Doe. However her name is Jane Doe. This is especially the case where a title is involved like Dr or Rev. Dr and Mrs John Doe.

So outside envelope
Mr and Mrs John Doe

Inside either
John and Jane (if you are close friends)
John and Jane Doe (to be a lil more polite)

Answer 3

I would put


Mr and Mrs John Doe

Regardless of how close you are to them, friendship, nicknames, whatever. You would not put:

Spanky and PooPoo Doe

If that were how you called them in person.

It is proper to address a known married woman as Mrs, if the status is unknown, Ms.