ok i know that you are supposed to have baby showers for the mother traditionally, but here's the deal:
My brother(20) had a few "flings" with my mothers neighbor(20), in January, she had a beautiful baby boy, everyone assumed that the father was her current boyfriend, but after the girl and her mother started asking for money all the time he got a little aggravated and asked for a paternity test, which was negative. So then three weeks ago we learned from the mother the next likely candidate would be my little brother. He was tested and the results came back on Friday, positive! And he is warming up to the idea. He current girlfriend, of 10 months, is doing ok with it too.
We were tossing around the idea of throwing a shower for him since it is his first, and we just found out about the little fellow.
We do not intend to invite the mother as she has drug issues and would cause a scene.
So what are your thoughts on this one, Baby shower or no?
2007-04-22 03:48:36 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
he will be pursuing full custody and the mother is so far being pretty cool about letting us see her. we saw him Friday night and i am about to go get him again, for a liitle cook out at moms.
2007-04-22 04:26:27 · update #1
Definately!! The idea would be to get your brother things he can use with the baby when he has visitation (or custody). Don't invite the mother if you don't want to....it isn't like the two of them have a relationship and you probably don't want to open the door up to greed from that side, either.
It is great that everyone is rallying around your brother and supporting him during this surprising (yet exciting) time!!
Congratulations Auntie!!
2007-04-22 15:42:52 · answer #1 · answered by diapercakesbybecca 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Instead of spending your money on a baby shower, maybe you and your family can help the brother to hire an attorney to sue for custody. If the mother has a drug problem she doesn't need to have that baby.
2007-04-22 03:56:05 · answer #2 · answered by Cathy S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it is a nice thought and it sounds like you are accepting of the child. Just keep in mind your brother is responsible financially for the child now as well and a court order pertaining to it should be issued. If the family is having financial problems they are going to keep expecting more after the baby shower.
2007-04-22 03:55:17 · answer #3 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like a great idea....if he gets partial custody...or maybe full custody if she has issues. Then he is going to need everything for the baby. Start with stuff he will need only part time. A few bottles, maybe a port a crib, car seat. I think its great that you are thinking about it!! Good Luck
2007-04-22 03:56:33 · answer #4 · answered by gentry_rl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely, you screwed up once you gave them infinite get proper of entry to on your position of is this in basic terms component of your subculture. they received't end, my daughter is 28 and her in straightforward words residing Grandmother thinks she has to placed her 2 cents nicely worth in. i trust that my husband I did a fairly sturdy pastime of elevating her. I in basic terms answer my m-in-regulation like ok I fee your opinion and then bypass domicile and do what i favor. She would not stay at domicile anymore. My m-in-regulation will be very, do not extremely recognize the words to describe; yet, one element i'm pleased with is that i did not enable my thoughts impact how my daughter felt about her grandmother. And your mom and in-guidelines will be an vital component of your daughters existence, so i'd not say something that could reason difficult thoughts or an argument, in basic terms nod, say definite thanks, etc. and bypass on your own way. i recognize this would nicely be difficult; yet, attempt to imagine the position they're coming from. they have had children and also you have not so as that they are the be all, end all on toddler elevating even with the undeniable fact that circumstances replace and issues are carried out in yet otherwise now. To them you're ignorant ha ha and favor their undying advice.
2016-12-04 11:10:48 · answer #5 · answered by kimmy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'd pass on the shower idea. if you don't have her come as well, you'll be starting problems for your brother. why not just buy him a few things and deliver them to the house. if your bro is going to try for full custody, you can do something if and when he gets it.
2007-04-22 08:12:02 · answer #6 · answered by racer 51 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a nice idea, but if the mother has custody, it seems kind of pointless to do it without including her
2007-04-22 03:51:32 · answer #7 · answered by BobbyR 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure have one...
2007-04-22 03:52:56 · answer #8 · answered by sayasyoulike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋